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#2506531 05/07/11 09:27 PM
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Okay, here's the story. About ten years ago my neighbors (I will call her Raven and him Daniel) went on a cruise with another couple who are also friends of ours and were also neighbors (they are Sydney and Denny). When they all got back, it was obvious that there had been lots of drinking, and also that "something" had happened between Raven and Denny, because the other spouses were quite upset. Raven and Denny both denied this, and ultimately everyone made up, although their friendship was never quite as close as it was before the cruise.

Sydney and Denny moved about a year or so later. The friendship fizzled.

Raven was accused of having an affair with a man at church. She changed churches. She was accused of having an affair with the choir director at her new church. She stopped going to that church. Later on, I found out that the choir director left that church, shamed. I didn't realize that I worked with his wife...

Daniel laughed all of this off. Raven said it was all nonsense.

Raven began working for a school. She was accused of having an affair with a man there, but she denied that. Then, she got another job in the schools (this is now about four years ago). We noticed she was texting quite a bit, and would come over to our house and text. I talked to her about it, and she gave the usual garbage about "he is just a friend".

Well, there was more than just one friend. One was her boss. The other was a friend who was a friend she used to work with a long time ago (married of course). Daniel asked her to stop the texting. Daniel got the ILYBNILWY speech.

Her boss separated from his wife about three years ago. Daniel and the neighbor separated from each other about three years ago, but stayed living in the same house (yes, how dumb).

Raven kept texting....who was she texting?

During the separation, Raven tells boss of new BOYFRIEND. Boss goes back to wife. Everyone denies affair between boss and Raven....ummmm, sure there was no affair? Boss was at Raven's house every single day until 11 pm!

New boyfriend:
1. Met on internet
2. Travels for work
3. Will not let her meet child
4. Has "ex wife" who lives out of state
5. Has two cell phones (oh, one is only for "work")


So, she DIVORCES HER HUSBAND FOR THE INTERNET GUY. Yes, she does. They have two children, both in high school. They divorce over these multiple men. Not to mention the OTHER other men that she is dating (prior to the "separation" that isn't a separation) and has been seen with in town at the bars. And not to mention her alcohol issues.

She announces she is "in love" with this Internet guy. Texts him day in and day out.


Then, it all hits the fan at work. "Somebody" exposed at work!!!!!!


Not. Me.

Anyway, somebody exposed at work. And.

The administrators came in, her boss was reassigned, and she was reassigned, and there is no longer any contact at work between the two of them.

Huge shock to them both. (Oh, boss's wife also works for the school.....ouch!)

AND

Suddenly, Internet guy?????


she is no longer dating him.

Two years. Exactly. Over!!! Done!!! Somehow, she just isn't "in love" with him anymore.


Strange how that apple just isn't so shiny anymore. I don't know what happened there. I suspect

he is married.


Oh.

The new news?

Some guy pitched a tent in her yard last night. The NEW boyfriend.

Pitched.
a.
Tent.

Yep.


I'm guessing his wife threw him out.


I just cannot for the life of me figure out why DANIEL still LIVES THERE!!!!!!!



However, on the bright side of things?


It is something interesting to watch, given that I live out here in the sticks. Satellite TV isn't what it's cracked up to be.


Schoolbus


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Springer doesn't need to fake it - he just needs to come to our neighborhoods SB!


Me - 46
Wife - 43
2 x DD
Married 18 yrs - known each other for 22 yrs
Woke up 12/2009 and realized I was an idiot for neglecting my WIFE!
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You know, sarcasim being my specialty, I am just dying to make this comment that sprung instantly into my head. I just can't do it. They'll kick me off here for sure...lol


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I bet if you go over with some smores, you can probably uncover even more dirt on the Wayward.

Then again - the whole thing could get spun that you are actually sleeping with tent guy, and all of waywards affair partners are actually yours, and you just used your neighbors as a go to place to carry on your illicit behavior ...

I would just stick to window peeping!

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I'm not even window peeping - that is the worst part! She actually struts over here and tells her tales of debauchery (or "woe" in her mind). We do our very best to be busy. At one point we actually put on our pajamas and started turning out lights to get rid of her.

She will start a conversation, and then stand there while she is "talking to us", but in reality is texting one of her men and not "talk to us" for twenty minutes! This is outrageous behavior. All the while, of course, she is drinking non-stop. She is an alcoholic out of control.

The part that actually has me outraged is something I haven't even mentioned. Yep. Can you believe this????


She has the two daughters, 17 and 18, junior and senior in high school.

On her 18th birthday, the senior moved out of the house. Raven said it was because DD18 wouldn't do anything she was supposed to do. REAAALLLY? Turns out, DD18 is going to school, supporting herself, has an apartment, has a job that she has held since before she moved out, and has gotten a scholarship to go to college - all without mom's interference, ah-help. DD18 also has a fiance and the two are planning a wedding together. Fiance is gainfully employed as well.

DD17???? Still living at home, and has "full support of mom". This daughter....is in school, but has transferred to the district just north of us so she can attend with her boyfriend there. Well, that story is interesting. Raven let that boyfriend move INTO THE HOUSE AND SHARE THE BEDROOM WITH DD17. Daniel also allowed this with a shrug of his shoulders and a "what can I do" look. So DD17 has been riding together with the boyfriend to school this year, living with him at Raven's house. la-la-la. Nice, right? Sure, up until about a week ago, when the little lovebirds broke up!

And

a new boyfriend was moved in with DD17.


I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, especially when there is such a terrific role model, and such stupid parenting

and such a terrific marital model present.


WTF


and now, this tent in the yard.



CAN WE SAY HILLBILLY?


I talked to Daniel about Marriage Builders. He has absolutely no backbone. His only question was, "What if Raven gets upset?"



Gee. Maybe that tent would blow down?


SB


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It is so sad to see the patterns of waywards repeated. The hardest part as a BS is trying to get my WH to understand you have the power to break the cycle. You have the power to be loved, and to have a great life.

We, your family, your four kids are why life is worth living. We love you and want what is best for you. Understand Dr. H point of view that this is all an addiction makes so much sense. I wish when I first discovered the affair I had found this site. I took to the begging, pleading, I will fix myself, it is all my fault path. Clearly that didn't work.

Today I look at my four small babies and realize I want this cycle to be stopped. I have to teach them marriage builders so they can prevent this awful awful thing from happening in their marriages.

It is so hard to watch someone self-destruct when you know there is such an easier way to live life. Not only to live life but to thrive in life and be loved.

As their neighbor - maybe one day they will look at your family and see the err of their ways. Who knows what tomorrow holds. The hardest part to this life is understanding time and our future are not on our time. I struggle with allowing that control, i.e. the control of the unknown, to be out of my hands. For my own personal recovery all I can do is take care of me and my kids. It is one of the hardest tasks I will ever do in my life.

Last edited by itistoughlove; 05/08/11 10:42 AM.

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