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but i cannot type or spell normally
Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan
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Chicka,
If you know me, you know that I am not afraid to tell someone if I think they need to be looking at Plan B/D....
But you know what? I see a lot of good things with your H ~ his willingness to commit to working the MB program, his willingness to coach with Jennifer, to expose his As and to implement EPs and affair-proof the M.
I think what you need to do is what we tried to tell you earlier, schedule the poly ASAP, tell your H that he needs to come clean with EVERYTHING or it will be over. Give him that one last chance. This is what I had to tell my H in order to finally get the full truth.
Please don't drink, hang in there. {{{chicka}}}
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i will follow thru with the poly, he just fessed more w/out it. but the guy was on vacation, damn him. but it's been 10 years of lies,...do i need to do this??? with no judgements i have given him the oppt to tell me.
he is asking why u would do all this for him, i told him i love him and i was fighting this, but how much more??? he doesnt get that his life is worth it... and there is no OW. just alot of past crap
he called already, should i have not responded? i did, he is beside himeself.
i think makng him reflect may do him good, he had been saying all along i am not as good as you and why????
i am stunned, but jennifer thought i may be done but no, chronic lyer but a good person that lost his way- or maybe never had one...
going to bed, big day at work and will look great
Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
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uggh he is in the other room crying bc i pull more shot from his [censored]. Hope you used birdshot and not buckshot. So what happened, besides more trickle truth?
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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i think makng him reflect may do him good Agreed. Take the night, or next day or so, to let the drama settle and maybe he'll get his act together. Have a good night, hope tomorrow goes better for you.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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you are from the south, i dont know those terms, whats the diff... more TT thats about it, just ughhh
Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721
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i am taking the day! i am sure he will get his act together, but how do i accept that?
Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
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you are from the south, i dont know those terms, whats the diff... more TT thats about it, just ughhh Yes, from Mississippi and, yeah, I did type y'all earlier. It just kind of slips as I type what I say...and I don't say "you guys"  More TT? Might have to google that, not sure what that is EDIT: TT = trickle truth, got it.
Last edited by Northwood8900; 05/09/11 11:00 PM.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Posts: 4,653
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i am taking the day! i am sure he will get his act together, but how do i accept that? Beats the hell out of me since you've been here before and thought you were past all this. So what was the "indiscretion" that he confessed to?
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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we say uz guy,,, tt is trickle truth, dont tell me i made own thing that could be added to the list
Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721
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Joined: Mar 2011
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sorry for the delay it must be the north wireless, thought i was done also,, but no... he confessed to many more and longer years its its not current crap for him but it is for me
Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721 |
going to bed i will be up in 3 hours anyway... and i have to put my game face on, thank you all!!! i do apreciate y'all coming to my pity party. lets talks about my asking about recovery post.. day one tomrrow.
Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
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LOL, Joe Pesci from "My Cousin Vinny" just came to mind
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Posts: 4,653
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i do apreciate y'all coming to my pity party. Hey chickadee, you'll be ok. And you typed y'all...bet you didn't think you'd be doing that today, did you? Goodnight.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Posts: 721
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ok so i got 5 hours sleep pretty good. other than work what is my game plan for the day?
do i expose all of the new past indescretions?
i will call poly man after 8am.- but i dont know it that matters at this point. it may just be too much for me to handle. there is alot.
i am so curious as to what is going on in that head of his...
Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
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We're talking about things that happened years ago with people he is no longer in contact with, right?
If so, I'd let it go as far as telling a bunch of people. You could tell those family members that may inquire as to why he left the house, but they'll probably just assume it was because of some of the other indiscretions.
Keep the polygraph appointment, but maybe you need more time to chew this over as to whether or not he comes back home today?
As said before, sometimes there's no harm in not making a decision right away.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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yes this was in the past and there has been NC.( but what do i know) I agree this is all to new to make any decisions. i do think keeping him out for a few days will let the reality of this new situation sink in. He did text me a a lenghty text about how he didnt protect, wish he could have been better, yada yada. I have not responded. he said he would stop by after therapy tonight.
I am expecting that he has detailed out all of the indescretions in a note, so there is more to come.
for 10 years who is that person???
Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721 |
i guess i should change my sig line
Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721 |
so i am now waiting to get hit by the 10th bus, its like i am in the trenches ready to swing into action. he should be by soon.
what do you all think about the week off? I dont want to send him to a hotel, that would make me crazy, not to his familys homes (they would eeyore him). thoughts?
Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
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Posts: 4,653 |
If you think a week off would help, then tell him that. But if he cannot stay at home, in a hotel or at his family's house then...are there friends of his that could help? No one, of course, would fault you if you let him stay at home. Why don't you just see how it goes? At some point, if you decided to stay in this marriage, you'd have to put aside the anger if you wanted him to feel safe with telling you anything. Now, wait, don't hit me with a hammer for saying that, he did wrong here, but I think you know where I'm going with that. But I wouldn't want to give him the impression that, no matter what, he can always come back. Make sense? There's a fine line there somewhere, I guess. Right now, I'd bet he's so gunshy that he'll be scared to say anything to you. I know, least helpful post ever.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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