If you see her IRL, you should say, "Are you ready to stop your adultery and come home?" If she says anything other than, "Yes" you say, "Well, let my IM know when you have." Then walk away, shut the door, etc.

I forget, how do you exchange your DD? Is it possible that she will use that to get to you? And, do you have a legal arrangement set up for visitation? She may WILL use your DD against you. Be careful.

Can anyone get me in a witness protection program??? LOL

Are you hanging in there? How are you feeling?

CV

Some what nervous but I don't regret it. I actually feel a sense of relief and I'm more calm than I imagined.

Well, for those who have followed my thread, there has been nothing come from the letter yet.

I get DD this weekend and it shouldn't be a problem. I pick her up from her after school program and take her to school Monday morning. I will have to send a message through IM to arrange the pick up of DD's things. Our drop off point was the home of an older family friend who was recently hospitalized so I will do that right after I'm done typing this message.

So were you forced to go in witness protection today? How's it going for you?

Mark --

Try to avoid needing "things". Your daughter is 7. There is not much equipment needed for a 7 year old.
Have your own set of clothing, shoes, toothbrush, etc. So there should be no reason to potentially run into WW or have to interact with her.

You're right. We've been exchanging a suitcase with DD clothing and gymnastics leotard but that will stop too. Wife will receive an empty suitcase after this exchange. I will admit that I've let her have control of those things but that will stop today.

Unfortunately I don't have any money to buy clothes but what she has was purchased by us so she should not and will not continue to control them. She does have toothbrush and toothpaste and such at my place.

.

It's going good. I checked last night and it seems that not many of those whom the letter was sent yesterday logged on. That will probably change today.

Well WW just tried to call. She did leave a message but, like yesterday, I deleted it before even hearing her voice. I sent a message through the IM but I don't think she responded to it.

As far as the bomb, still nothing yet. I'm really curious as to what her reaction would be. I do know that her married and very spiritual girlfriend was on fb yesterday. Don't know if she read the letter though.

Got a question. Since I recently started plan b, should I attend DD's event next week or should I stay in the dark for a while? I think I read somewhere that dr. Harley suggests staying out of any situation where seeing the wayward spouse is possible. Is that correct or should I go and just stay as far away as possible?

Unfortunately, during Plan B, events are to be attended by only one parent. Even just seeing your WW will restart your Plan B and will show her that you aren't serious. You don't want her thinking that you aren't going to stick to what you said.

That's kind of what I thought. As I sit and think about it, it really hurts to have to do it. It's my daughter's first part in a school play and I'm actually in the process of working with her now on her lines. I'm even starting to tear up a little realizing that I will be missing this monumental event in her life. It will be okay though. It's what I have to do.

{{{marksaysay}}}

Brother it *is* a big event. Explain to your daughter that you want to be there, but won't be able to. Reaffirm your love for her, and tell her that it won't always be this way. If she's like her dad, she's a smart cookie and will understand even though she may be sad.

One thing that strikes me is the incredible resilience of kids. Specially when we are honest with them.

But you remember the saying, right? let tomorrows problems worry about themselves, todays are sufficient for today

Excellent.

I know this is tough, especially knowing that you won't see your daughter perform. Do you know if your school is going to videotape it? I think a lot of schools do that now for parents who can't make it or for family out of town.

Yes, it's gonna be very tough for me that night but I'll manage. I remember my reaction when she was in her first talent show last year. Watching her on stage do her solo singing act and performing it flawlessly in spite of the noticable nervousness made me so proud of her that day. It's moments like that you just hate to miss.

Unfortunately, we've yet to see any recordings or hear of any recordings of her school related activities. We have always taken it upon ourselves to do that.

Mark - wonderful stuff. Keep up the Plan B with Pride. You will do great with it and you will see yourself growing leaps and bounds in all areas of your health.

Way to be a proud papa -- let us know if you need Plan B help, and the darker you go the better you will be.

Breathe
Pray
Enjoy you!

Cheers Tough

The hard part really doesn't have that much to do with my wife. Well, maybe it does since she is in la-la land with her "new man". It still hurts, but what hurts the most is the family unit that suffers as the result of the selfishness of the WW. I know I'm not the first nor the last to experience these emotions and feelings, but nonetheless, it's still difficult when it's me.

I know that Plan B is not designed to get the spouse to come back, but I can't say that I'm not at the least somewhat optimistic that it might work out that way in my situation. I not naive to think that it will, though. I do know that ultimately I will be much stronger as a result of having taken this step.

And, yes, I am a very proud papa. People have asked me, in light of my marital, financial, and at times, emotional struggles, if going back home (Texas)was a possibility. And the resounding answer to that is NO. I'm not going to leave my daughter. I will be where ever she is. PERIOD. I grew up having never known my dad. I met him for the first time on 5/27/94, the day I graduated high school. And although our situations are drastically different, I know what it feels like to not have your dad in your life and I can't/won't put my daughter through that.