Then find someone more talented. This is a COMMON inclusion in divorce papers around here. Most lawyers don't WANT to do it because they are lazy. You have to force them.

Can you take a credit card out in his name? [/quote]

Nope. Before he took out the loan, I discovered he had applied for another credit card and was denied because he has too much debt.

Of course he will fight it but somewhere down the line he is going to have to compromise, he gets to see the children when he agrees not to expose them to the OW. When you do see the attorney start high, full custody then work down.

sobbing with relief.... I am relieved you recognize this, because - naturally - you are going to be emotional about this. This is where an IM and the board members can help you avoid all these pratfalls. Plan B is really very easy and calm if you do it right.

So just reiterate that "Your visitation is canceled until we come to an agreement that you will not continue to expose our children to OW (or any OW). Exposing DS5 and DS3 to your adulterous affair shows a complete lack of judgment, no concern for their well-being and is harmful to them. If you are willing to sign an agreement to that effect, you may resume visitation."?

Should anything else be added?

I was NOT exaggerating when I said they are the best there is. (So good it turns out I probably can't afford them.)

Melodylane has a good message to WH from the previous page.

'Have the IM send him a message that

they are not to be exposed to his affair. If he can't promise that, then you are not letting the kids around him. If he will agree to not expose them to the OW he can see them.'

A good attorney would use good negotiation skills to get this included. Many have done it here.

There needs to be some sharp words placed in there too, showing he has defrauded you financially and that he has placed the financial situation of you and the kids in a dire situation due to his secret loans, life and because of him USING FAMILY MONEY AND LOANS TO PAY FOR AN AFFAIR.

YOU go for the jugular. Nothing less than full custody, full child support, and spousal support.

Ask for the moon. Meanwhile if you can get an investigator, dig up dirt on the posow. Odds are, she's done something horrible in her past and some skeletons need to come to light, which would ENSURE that she will not be allowed around the kids.

And of course many many states consider normal legalese language to be included in a divorce that "no overnight visitor of opposite sex is allowed in custodial home unless they are family". This is to discourage the thousands of skanky cheaters out there and to try to protect their innocent kids from their shameful actions which HARM CHILDREN.

I do agree that it's worth a shot. Especially because I can't see him getting any support from any anyone on this because it's unreasonable to expect. As one of my best friends said yesterday, someone needs to ask him to consider "Is anyone who was in your camp on November 6 (the day he left for Vegas) still in your camp today?"

Will this be sent by the IM? This needs to come from her. No more messages from you. Something like "hyacinth has advised that she will permit visitation as long as the kids are not exposed to your mistress. If you can assure this, then she will arrange visitation."

I will fight for her not to have access, but I can guarantee she has NO skeletons that would keep her from being near my kids (other than being a tramp). She does the same thing my husband does for a living and they have to be squeaky clean to do it (except for sex, obviously).

Are you ok, Hyacinth?

Yes, it will be send from the IM so I will have her word it in the third person.

In what sense?

This is too hard to watch.

Does your IM filter the emails you send to your WH as well?

Can you PLEASE ask her to contact either ML or myself for help. Also, before you do ANYTHING in regards to your marriage and your WH, post about it here FIRST. Let some people advise you(preferably a few vets), and then make an informed decision based on MB.

PLAN B

Yes.

This was a train wreck because this all came to a head while my IM was essentially out of pocket for two days due to a huge meeting at work. So I let it get out of control.

I will have her send that exact statement if that is what should be sent. (Can I add "or your affair in any way" after the word mistress?). Everyone in agreement?

This kind of crap is very traumatic for a BS. Are you ok?