Sounds great!! And big hugs to your IM's H. That is very kind of him!

I am glad that are a great support to you. That's why I want to help her out, so she can feel good about helping you in this way as well. She is the backbone for your Plan B. Without an IM, you wouldn't have a Plan B. She is important to you, and your family.

Let IM know that it is a very nice thing she has chosen to do for you and one not everyone volunteers for. She is a good egg.

They have been amazingly supportive. I would be lost without them.

Hyacinth, make a mental note to expose to this woman's family when the dust settles a bit after today's mess.

I did already start drafting a letter.

When is your H leaving for his trip? That might be a good time to expose to her family.

He's leaving either Sunday night or Monday morning.

**snort** That would be a great time to expose!! He will be out of town and she will calling him with her MELT DOWN. And you will be in Plan B and won't hear a peep!

Did you tie up all those loose ends so that he can't get through to you re phone numbers and email? It would be good to make sure that's taken care of before you expose. I worry about you staying DARK...

Short update. Last night after the kids and I left my IM's house to come home, she called me and said she wanted me to know she had gotten another email response, but that she was picking through it to see if there was anything I needed to know. (This would be in response to her second email to him that merely stated: Hyacinth has advised me that she will permit visitation as long as the boys are not exposed to your mistress or your affair in any way. If you can assure this, then she will arrange visitation.) Then she called me back later and said there was nothing new, nothing I needed to know except that he said he is willing to come to a custody arrangement through her. However, she also said he still has not acknowledged the issue at hand, but keeps making it about everything else. I have no plans to respond and either 1) he will email her again when he gets frustrated that we are not moving forward with arrangements or 2) he'll go to an attorney when he gets back from his trip. If he does email her and ask about making a new custody agreement, I'm just going to have her send the EXACT SAME STATEMENT that she already sent (the one I quoted above). I can't decide if he's so foggy he really doesn't get it or if he's just choosing to ignore it. He should know me well enough to know I'm not going to give up or back down. My dad said to me on the phone the other day, "It's like he really hasn't been paying attention for the last 24 years..."

Also, I had another talk with DS5 about what's going on, because he had started to pack a bag for his dad's before this all started and today I had him unpack it. He said "I thought we were going to visit daddy?" so I sat down with him and reminded him of our talk about the bad woman who was hurting mommy. Then I told him that until daddy promised that she wouldn't be around him and his brother at all, they wouldn't be able to be with daddy. He was a little upset and cried because he said "I think that's going to be a LONG TIME!" (?!?!?!?!) I told him I didn't think so, that daddy loved him very much and would want to keep him and his brother safe and so he would probably promise to keep her away. (Except I don't know what is going to happen, but I at least wanted to reassure him that he is loved.)

You are doing great, Hyacinth.

Second that, hold the line.

Everybody was worried he would show up at my son's soccer games this morning, if not to confront me then just to see the kids, but he didn't. I think I am the only person who didn't expect him to. I mean, he knows that most of our friends and half the town would be there and that he has almost no support at all, so he couldn't be sure of the reception he would get. I kept getting text messages checking on me asking "Is here there?" I can't wait until the drama of this situation fades. I had another talk with one of my best friends about not talking to me about him, trying to give me updates, etc. She's always trying to "keep me posted" about what she hears. I think she gets it now.

I got the name of another attorney today. This one handled a close friend's divorce and she described him as "aggressive but not overly arrogant." I'm going to call him on Monday.

Go for full custody , fight fight and fight some more. There is only one prize , your children's well being, you will never regret it and when your children are older they will thank you

He gets it, but doesn't want to get it.

Get it?

My IM went through his email from last night again (she said yesterday was so stressful that everything had started to run together plus she had had a couple of glasses of wine when it came through). She said there were some things in it about him wanting to see his kids before he goes away and asking to "come up with something mutually acceptable" but that I do not have the right to make demands."

I had her send the exact same response as yesterday like I said I would. Now he has asked her if it was an email glitch or if she resent it.

I would like her to respond something like "Hyacinth has advised me that her terms are the same." But with a less loaded word than terms/demands/conditions. Any ideas?

She sent "That was the same statement because Hyacinth has advised me that her response is the same."

His response was "OK."

I have a question. What about in addition to exposing OW this week while he is away, first I contact her and ask her to stay away from my children (and my husband, but at the least my children)? I say "first" so that she is not livid with me yet.

And if I do that, HOW should I do it (phone, FB message -- I don't have her email address -- or in person)? WHAT should I say?

Any suggestions on confronting the OW?

I was just told she posted a picture of herself with my husband on Facebook.

I'm writing my Facebook exposure letter. I could use some help. Also, I now have her email address because when she posted the picture, through some glitch it showed up as part of the picture.