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When the OP is threatening harassment, that is GOOD thing!
That means you have delivered a huge blow to the A!!!
Don't worry ~ she is trying to scare you because waywards HATE being exposed. You didn't do anything wrong, it's not libel when it's the truth!
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I am really scared I have done the wrong thing.
My father rang me and told me that WH has called him and said that OW want to sue me for being liable and get the police involved to stop me sending messages. I really hope sending out messages on FB has not given them anything they can use against me.
God I don't want to do anything wrong here I am just trying to do it right. That is wonderful! This means you have hit the mark!!  Don't let up. Finish your exposures! Don't you dare allow that brazen ho scare you into silence. And you just tell your dad that if its legal for the OW to shag your husband, it is legal for you to tell everyone about it! You are not the one who has done anything wrong. It is not illegal to tell the truth. Tell him to call that old wh*re and invite her to call the police and see how far she gets reporting you for telling the truth. The TRUTH is a defense for slander.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Albizia, did you get to the OW's PARENTS? That is where I would focus. You want to get to her parents and closest family members.
Additionally, have you exposed to all of your H's friends? Does his family have the full and correct story FROM YOU or do they have lies from the affairees?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I think I have finished exposing to everyone. I haven't spoken to OW's parents because I don't know who they are. I did use the message like the one suggested here which asked anyone who knew her parents to have them contact me and my number.
My husbands family know everything and are fully on my side, they have tried but can not get through to him (he is very stubborn when he thinks he is right).
I got an email from WH today which says:
"I don't know what you at are trying to achieve but I have a good idea.
What your are doing to OW is wrong. This is not you. You need to stop sending those emails and you need to get an apology out to everyone you sent one to right now.
You are going to lose everything at this rate. "
I am not sure if I should respond to this or not.
What do you think?
BW - me 39
WH - 42
DS - 6 DD - 9
married - 10 years
D-day - 03-19-11
WH moved out - 04-02-11
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Don't respond he is trying to intimidate you.
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The balance is shifting he and his OW are not happy bunnies.
Last edited by Xau; 05/14/11 05:12 PM. Reason: Typo
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Agree with Xau. This is all very positive, the fact that his family has confronted him, that he wrote you that email and that the OW wants the emails to stop  Hang in there!
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What your are doing to OW is wrong. Oh, dear. I'm sure she's kind to children and small animals, and actually makes donations to the organizations that send her free return address labels. WHAT ABOUT WHAT SHE IS DOING TO YOU??? Let that go. He is a foggy wayward. You'll get that. Don't let his threats deter you.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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HE just rang and pleaded with me to stop. Saying this is not me, and this will not get him back. I told him I was doing what is best for my family and he just sighed and said he can see that this is getting us nowhere.
He asked how the kids were, so I told him. I said DS is sad, angry and misses his father. He asked if he should come home from his trip. I said in my opinion he should never have gone but not to worry I will look after the children.
Since I am still in plan A at the moment I am wondering if this is a good time to send him an email about our finances. I want to say that I understand he was under a lot of pressure trying to manage the finances and keep his family while managing a large dept. I am now trying to sort out some of that dept but in order to do it properly I need all the up to date information about what we owe and where. Could he please let me know any more details so that I can do something about it.
Do you think now is the right time for this?
BW - me 39
WH - 42
DS - 6 DD - 9
married - 10 years
D-day - 03-19-11
WH moved out - 04-02-11
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HE just rang and pleaded with me to stop. Saying this is not me, and this will not get him back. I told him I was doing what is best for my family and he just sighed and said he can see that this is getting us nowhere. Albiza, as you can see, your exposures were very effective so you should not stop. You have hit a nerve. Did you contact her parents? Have you contacted anyone and everyone of importance on her side? They are very scared that you will mess up their affair AND IT IS YOUR JOB TO MESS UP THAT AFFAIR IF YOU WANT SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE. Don't stop now! You need to get her parents on the phone and ask them to use their influence to persuade her to end her affair. Right now the affairees are trying their best to spin the story - you need to STOP them from doing that. And I would ENCOURAGE the OW to call the police on you. What a dumb broad.... Only an idiot would imagine that the police would stop someone from telling the truth about them. Call your H and tell him to ENCOURAGE the OW to call the police. See how far that skank gets.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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HE just rang and pleaded with me to stop. Saying this is not me, and this will not get him back. I told him I was doing what is best for my family and he just sighed and said he can see that this is getting us nowhere. Don't get caught in the drama. This is making OW life difficult and she cannot feed the lies now to her friends. What you told was the truth. OW cannot sue you. A few days before my XH had his affairage I sent an email out to most of the wedding guests saying that XH took DD17 money and declared bankruptcy and a few other choice tibits. They were upset and threatened suing...nothing. Can't really do anything speaking the truth. He asked how the kids were, so I told him. I said DS is sad, angry and misses his father. He asked if he should come home from his trip. I said in my opinion he should never have gone but not to worry I will look after the children. I know it is difficult being in Plan A but try and be upbeat about the children. Let him decide if he should come home. He knows he has to do "crowd control" now because people know the truth. Since I am still in plan A at the moment I am wondering if this is a good time to send him an email about our finances. I want to say that I understand he was under a lot of pressure trying to manage the finances and keep his family while managing a large dept. I am now trying to sort out some of that dept but in order to do it properly I need all the up to date information about what we owe and where. Could he please let me know any more details so that I can do something about it. Do you think now is the right time for this? No because he might get wind of you trying to find out about the finances  Try to get any information from the accounts or bank Blessings
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Well it appears that OW has closed down her FB account after I sent out a few messages.
I am not so scared anymore, after talking to my sister last night and reading the messages on here. I realise that I have not done anything wrong and certainly nothing illegal. I don't think there is anything more I can do as far as exposure since I do not know who her family are or how to contact them.
I guess I just sit tight for now.
BW - me 39
WH - 42
DS - 6 DD - 9
married - 10 years
D-day - 03-19-11
WH moved out - 04-02-11
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Well it appears that OW has closed down her FB account after I sent out a few messages.
I am not so scared anymore, after talking to my sister last night and reading the messages on here. I realise that I have not done anything wrong and certainly nothing illegal. I don't think there is anything more I can do as far as exposure since I do not know who her family are or how to contact them.
I guess I just sit tight for now. that is a typical response to shut it down. The damage is done and now you sit tight. Anymore on the work situation exposure? Blessings.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Bravo Albi!! Your exposure was great and their responses to it were textbook. You're right, you didn't do anything wrong or illegal. If people don't want to hear from you, they will block you now. So what? The word is out.
Oh, and good luck to her getting an attorney to back her if she tries to sue you. That is laughable. I think about the only attorney that would share her indignation is one who is also wayward, they tend to stick together. At least it would give the people at the courthouse a good laugh. I've worked for a very large law firm for many years and I can pretty much say with conviction that NONE of the attorneys I work for would think of pursuing a ridiculous claim like this. Sheesh.
I agree about the finances, I would try to find out as much as you can on your own without input from WH if at all possible.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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As far as I know the work thing is over. Work did say they would investigate but I think it was found that they had nothing to answer. I figured this would be the case but at least it has been made known at work and they both know I exposed it.
I will sit tight for now.
Thanks
BW - me 39
WH - 42
DS - 6 DD - 9
married - 10 years
D-day - 03-19-11
WH moved out - 04-02-11
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When my wife exposed my affair.....
I was FURIOUS!
I had moved out and expected her to do exactly what I wanted.....
What did I want?
I wanted her to play nice.
I wanted her to just accept my affair quietly..
She decided to fight for our marriage...
I was SO MAD!
I did retaliate in subtle ways and told her she was just being SOOO MEAN!
Such a terrible wife I had, being honest about my adultery and telling others the truth, HOW DARE HER.... (I'm just adding my sarcastic humor in here)
I was such an idiot!
ALL waywards are idiots!
I was wayward for 8 months, moved out, came home, moved out again, crawled home and asked for another chance.....
My wife said no, I'd done too much damage.... but by God's Grace He changed both of our hearts and we have a recovered marriage today...
Exposure didn't hurt our recovery chances!
The lies and the affair are what hurt our marriage....
Don't get caught up in his or the OW's fog babble, OK!
From a former waywards perspective.....
I'm here to tell you.....
You did GREAT!
Last edited by HerPapaBear; 05/15/11 07:18 PM.
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Thankyou
You give me hope.
BW - me 39
WH - 42
DS - 6 DD - 9
married - 10 years
D-day - 03-19-11
WH moved out - 04-02-11
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I am so confused!
I love my husband and I know that what he is doing right now is because he is in a fog but that doesn't stop the pain. Everything he does hurts me so badly. I am trying to do what is right. I am going to see a lawyer but I don't really know what to say. I want to protect the children but I am not sure how. He still claims to love the children and says he wants to be a good dad but his actions say that they are comeing a distant second or third to OW and work.
I really need some good advice. I completely understand, my husband has always been a faithful loyal and reliable man... and now this. He used to care deeply about the kids and me, until he got so Foggy....
Married 1/2000.
D-Day 3/7/11. WH moved in with OW and they married in 2013.
Single mom of 4.
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Oooh exposure.... well you already made them mad, I say message a bunch more people.... might as well, they can't get MORE angry, but they can be more uncomfortable in their affair... and yes my lawyer friend said that the truth is the defense to slander. If it is the truth you will not get in trouble.
Married 1/2000.
D-Day 3/7/11. WH moved in with OW and they married in 2013.
Single mom of 4.
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Well it appears that OW has closed down her FB account after I sent out a few messages.
I am not so scared anymore, after talking to my sister last night and reading the messages on here. I realise that I have not done anything wrong and certainly nothing illegal. I don't think there is anything more I can do as far as exposure since I do not know who her family are or how to contact them.
I guess I just sit tight for now. my husband's other woman shut down her facebook after I messaged her friends/family too!
Married 1/2000.
D-Day 3/7/11. WH moved in with OW and they married in 2013.
Single mom of 4.
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