((( atena )))


You miss the good man he used to be, not this heartless snake he's morphed into. Yuk!

thank you for all your posts!
Actually, WH was never 100% genuinely into the M. He kept going for our son. In retrospect, that is what i am seeing. I do not see anything else.

All the romantic messages he sent his 2 OW on the cell phone he never sent me or told me. He never told me I was his joy and that he loved me loved me loved me ...like he did to the others.

So, he never was really into me. It must feel the same to him, that he really never was truly in love with me.
And now that he is experiencing this romance with OW he just is so addicted to something he never had with me.

I guess some people can see M only in terms of raising kids and being together for them till they are young. WH is probably one of those people who would have prefered to stay single....
Now he has his freedom.
Blessing

Hi all,
just an update to tell you that I am doing much better.
The move really really helped.
I plan to spend the summer in the states looking for jobs. I have a couple of minor surgeries to take care of between now and end of June. Hopefully all will go well.
Today I ran into WH in the hallway at work. It had been a long long time so I thought to myself "seeing him is going to throw me into a spin now"
But it did not.
I felt nothing.
I looked smashing, I am tanned, fit, and dressed to kill (going to a b.day party right after work) so it couldn't have been a better day to run into him in terms of looks.
He looked at me and his look was of pure hatred.
All day long people of been telling me how great I look.
He just hates me. And you know what I thought to myself: poor devil, he must be having a heck of a life if all he can manage is hate.
blessing

I am so glad you have finally found some peace for yourself. Your thread was one of the most painful to read.

Congrats on the move! Good luck looking for work.

You soooooooooo need to get out of there!! I am glad to hear you are going to be looking for jobs in the states. You know where to find me if you come to my area!!

If I move to the states it will be easy to visit you!!
I just wonder why the hatred towards me...I have done nothing to him, nothing at all.
blessing

Atena! I was wondering about you last week. Good you are checking in.

I hope your surgeries go well. Are you done with your school program now?

What areas of the states will you be looking in? Close to your son?

I am sure you were smoking when you saw him. Of course he hates you because you are a reminder of the man he is now and he self reflects.

Let him hate you, the opposite of love is not hate it is indifference. You impact him more than he will ever know.

Blessings. keep in touch.

(((Atena)))

I am so happy that you have found some much needed peace, finally. Just think how much better you will feel once you are away from him.

I wish you all of the best.

I am done with my school program, done since last summer. I got a promotion a work.
I plan to move to CA, my son is in the east but once i am there can visit and so can he. It will be so much easier than now!
I look forward to it, it will be nice to land a job.

WH's eyes had the same fogged-mean look he used to display when we were still living together and he was see OW secretly.
After more than a year and half he is still deep in the fog and probably deep into the A.
I agree, I do remind him of the man he is and of the man he could have been. But I am sure, in his head, he blames me for everything....
But I did notice a shift in him from indifference to hatred since the last time we ran into eachother which was a few months back.
I am travelling for work in a couple of days. Going to a exotic city for a conference. It will be fun.
blessing

Hi all,
I talked to my son yesterday and he said he barely talks to his dad. He said that when he asks his dad for money his dad always sends the money so he thinks he feels guilty towards son and gives him what he wants.
My son also said that his dad, the rare times they talk (I think they talked recently because son asked him for money) and my son askes WH what he is doing and how is life, my WH talks about him spending time with OW at her home (now that I moved to different house) and getting closer to her, maybe thinking about moving in with her. The only obstacle being OW's ex boyfriend (she was never married to the father of her 2 kids) who does not want my WH to be in contact with his kids (wise man). So WH talks badly about her ex boyfriend to my son (!!!!)

So yesterday when I talked to my son he vented with me saying he can't believe WH would actually consider moving in with OW and her brats and dealing with all the mess of her not getting along with ex boyfriend and the issues they have around the bratty kids...and talking about it with my son!
Son said he really thinks his dad had lost it, but it has been almost 2 years and the A seems not only to thrive but to get deeper into commitment.

I told son not to despair because the A is running its course. It is only natural that the 2 AP would want to move in together given they have been dating and not facing real day to day issues.They are still in luv and think they are soul mates.
I told son that most likely if they moved in together they will not last long after that.

My son cannot stand the OW (she was the neighbor as you recall) as he remembers having to listen to her and her kids yelling and plus all the deceit and the filthy stuff she was able to do to our family.
He hopes they break up so he does not have to deal with her.
I told son he does not have to deal with her ever. He can simply tell his dad he does not want to spend time wiht him in the presence of OW.

I am heart broken for my son and also this conversation brought back lots of junk about the A and the M but I needed to listen to what my son has to say. He rarely talks about the A and it must have been heavy on his heart to open up to me and vent. He is usually a very quiet and reserved person.

I am sad.
Blessing

Atena, I know you are hurting because your son is hurting. These waywards think everything is just fine because they think they are "fine"...all fog babble.

Don't let that be a set back because of your WH actions. Let them live together with her kids. That will be the kiss of death in that A.

I feel for your son losing his father. My DD17 has not seen hers in more than 2 years and he just missed prom night.

It was his loss not ours and she is in a good place.

That is all you can ask right now for your family.

Blessings.

Yes, that is what I told my son, it will be the kiss of death in the A if he goes and lives with her.
But I also told him that his dad has chosen a different lifestyle now and that most likely he will have an OW ready once he decides to leave this one. WH can't be alone for long. And certainly will not ask me to take him back and have a "come to Jesus" epiphany.
So,my son has to come to terms with the fact that the family he once had is destroyed...so that his dad can now spend his days with a w***e and then maybe later with yet another w****e.
Sad but true.
Thank you!!!
Blessing

They are idiots ! Complete fools.

You son is lucky to have such a smart & loving Mother.
One who is honest with him all the while being supportive.


This OW sounds like trash.
Last week's trash.

Too funny!
We can all smell it but WH!!!


Thank you Pep, I needed a good laugh!

blessing

Is this possible??? Is this just due to the A addiction and OW??? I can't think it is because he has lost it!
My WH is not cooperating in the sale of the house. Today the real estate agent who has been doing all the work to get him organized and do stuff has lost it. She called me at work to say that it is important that WH complete his share of the move.
She had been trying to call him several times and he does not return her calls.
She even went to his house and rang the bell but no answer. She was sure he was there as OW's can was parked in front (she knows OW since she is trying to sell her house now with the same agency...) and was still parked in front several hours later when the agent tried again to ring his doorbell
I told the agent that I can't help her really.
My son tells me the same story, WH just does not do things. Son needed him to check on his insurance weeks ago and WH has not done it yet.
Is this the A???? Can it be that he forgets about everything even his financial interests? After all if the house sells he gets the money not me or our son!!!??
How much can he really enjoy being with OW for hours in this 2x2 efficiency place??? This is sick
I am just so upset about all this, i want to sell the f.ing house and move on....
The agent said she needs to speak to a lawyer if WH does not respond...I told her to go ahead!!!
blessing

bump

What do you think he is doing? Is he trying to back out of the sale?

No, the last time the real estate person was able to talk to him he told her he would do anything to speed up the process.
However, when I moved I moved 50% of the furniture and left the rest to him. It is still quite a bit and I think he is trying to act smart by pressuring the real estate person and myself to complete the move for him,...this is my guess.
Also he seems to be avoiding any type of commitment. I also just got called by the tax person who has been trying to get a hold of him to do his tax return for the country i live in....and got no reply from WH, not even: i am no longer going to need your services.
So I think he is just in a limbo and OW is his drug not to face reality.
blessing

My XH did the same thing. Never followed up with a thing. Just kept going away to Vegas and drinking and partying and living the life.

I see even with the bankruptcy petition his own lawyer was so frustrated because she had to push him to follow through.

Do think it is a fog babble mentality. When they walk away form their life -- they walk away from any schedules, committments, or goals and just drift.

That is what I am seeing.

thank you hope,
I was venting with my mom yesterday and she said that WH is getting older and more and more attached to OW
He is completely alone and she is the only ENs provider and since it has been almost 2 years (in Sept it willbe) my mom believes he is settling with this OW.
Since OW is trash my mom thinks she is dragging him into apathy, so WH is not even taking care of his own interests because OW does not expect anything from him and does not encourage him to be the best he can be.
She accepts his mediocrity and trashiness as she is trash herself so....it is all very sad.
I would have not allowed WH to have the bahavior he is having now!
blessing