Ooooh tell me more... was she on MB and did she follow the MB Plan A/Plan B?

Yes, she did. Her name is sexymamabear.

Exposure and anger is GREAT! It means they on some level, care what others think of their skanky deeds. Not giving a care would bother me more.

My xwh was angry at his clients finding out, as they were the only ones who even CARED that he was cheating. His parents didn't care. His sister didn't care. His business partner didn't care. WHY? They ALL HAD BEEN ADULTEROUS at one time or another so I didn't get much bang for the buck. However exposing the OTHER WOMAN got a TON OF BANG FOR THE BUCK!

She was the only one who responded to exposure.

So go for it and keep on going for it! Just remember, anger is good. It will subside. Anger and love aren't that far apart, as you see, for somebody to have such strong feelings of anger for you, they have to be somewhat emotionally invested in you. Remember that. Opposite is total apathy.

So you re expose, if needed, or continue to ask for support from the ONES WHO PUT THE MOST PRESSURE ON THE AFFAIR and also ones of higher position who can threaten their happyho filth coccoon.

Anger is good. Apathy would be scary.

My FWH was so angry, then worried, then angry. Then he called me controlling. Then he wanted me to recant my exposure and tell the OW I had made it all up, and we weren't married.

He got over it. He's embarrassed that he ever said or did any of that, and he has thanked me for fighting for him now.

But at the time, the words "madder" "than" and "wet hen" would have been appropriate.

You did great, great, GREAT! I know it's very scary but don't be afraid - after I exposed her affair my FWW threatened to stab me in the face while I was sleeping. Waywards are complete IDIOTS and will say the most outrageous stuff imaginable.

You have shattered the fantasy image they have created about how they will run off together and everyone in their life will celebrate their "love". This is one of the best things you could have done. Bravo!

At first, MB advise seems (to some) "Way out there".


Few if any other marriage crisis sites/books/ advise the system that is taught and supported here.
You will find it really helps you make a plan to recover your M.

The best plan out there.

I am not sure if he is just angry or if I really do have no chance. I got a text today which says:

"There is something wrong with you. I am not coming back to you. No matter what you do it's not going to happen. It's over. Get it through your head!!!!!"

Obviously I have not bothered to answer this. What is my next move?

OK things are getting nasty.

I have had an email from someone at (leavepeoplealone@hotmail.com) I have had an email from him saying that I am making myself look unstable and if I think he won't be going for custody I am wrong. I have just now had a phonecall from a friend of OW who is a detective with the police telling me to stop the harrassment, it is against the law. She called it deformation of character. If anyone has any expertise I would appreciate the help. The message I sent was this:



Dear friend of OW,

It is with great regret that I send this letter but I believe all of her friends should be aware that OW is having an affair with my husband, H. We have been married for 10 years and have 2 heartbroken children.

I would ask that you use your influence with OW to persuade her to leave my husband alone. You should also watch your own husbands around her because she is no friend to marriage.

I would appreciate it if someone would notify her parents and ask them to call me at xxxxxxxx.

Thank you,
BW


The detective seemed to think that because I had said you need to watch your own husbands around her that I was breaking the law.
Please help.
.

I would ignore them, they are trying everything in the book to scare you, if the detective friend calls again ask for her details, name , rank, force number, station and senior officer, if she declines or asks say you have no proof of who she is and your lawyer will have a different view.

Do not debate or discuss your note with anyone, your husband and the OW are trying to shut you down and have you run scared.

As for the mail you have a choice in your mail to report it as spam , do so.

Do not be afraid this is a concerted bully tactic from the OW and your husband, keep a journal of all details including what you have of the OW's friend . A police officer is not there to intimidate you on behalf of a friend I have no doubt her senior will not be amused.

I do not believe that this "police officer" is real. Did she introduce her by name? Can you check her background?

If she really checks out you should inform your lawyer about her actions immediately and ask his advice.

The police officer did introduce herslef by name but unfortunately I was unprepared and I did not write it down.
She told me that putting private information on a public forum like that was deformation of character. I told her that I had only told the truth and that my legal advice was different to hers.

The correct term is "defamation" of character.

You cannot defame somebody if what you are saying is true.

In the UK, defamation is a civil offence, which means that the police will not become involved. The police only get involved in criminal offences here. This means that the "defamed" person must bring a private action against you. If the same is true in your state in the US, then this police officer has no right to tell you what to do. This is the OW trying to frighten you.

Remember what someone said: If OW brings an action against you, she would have to appear in court and answer questions about her affair with your H. She does not want to do that.

A jury would also have to decide whether what you said was defamatory. Having heard about the affair, I doubt that any jury would rule in her favour.

Are you able to do a check on the call logs and track her number? If so record it for future use.

Well I think I am now entering plan B. WH rang tonight and totally abused me and threatened to take me to court and get custody of the children because what I am doing shows that I am mentally unstable. I did say a few things I probably should not have because he really upset me and took me off guard. In the end I told him that I wanted him to stop contacting me either by phone, email or text. I guess this means I have already started plan B, but now I need to get into it fully. I will read over the plan B thing again but any tips would be much appreciated.

SugarCane thanks for your insight. I am actually in Australia but I think our laws are fairly similar. Now that he is threatening to fight for custody I will be going back to see my lawyer and I will run all this past her.

Xau. Her number comes up as private on the call log. I am checking who I sent messages to on FB and seeing if any of them have police as their profession but I have a feeling it will not be there.

I tried to imagine your WH explaining to judge that he was having an affair and since you sent a message about that to everyone it makes you unstable. I have to say that it would be totally UNREAL situation and it is hard to imagine other reaction from judge than laughter.

Their affair got a huge blow by your exposure and therefore, the anger is also huge.

I do not know whether you should go plan B because I do not have experience but this thread might be useful for you:

How to Plan B correctly

I would lawyer up properly and prepare to fight for your children, write down what was said. Make the seperation legal and have the lawyer insert a condition that the children must never meet of see the OW.

Going forward have a VAR ready, if he calls and if you answer let him know he is being recorded , do not enter into any fights with him , he is angry and threatening as his affair is out on the open.

I think as his reaction is fairly extreme and his OW is involving other people the exposure is working and is affecting them, they will slander you , ensure you keep your Facebook page updated with nice family pics for all to see.

I do not know about Oz but for me, the fact that this "police" calls from secret phone number makes the whole thing as a scam or at least this officer did not dare to call from official number.

Xau I'm sorry but I don't understand VAR. Could you please explain.

recon6mo, I agree I think she called from her own private phone. She said she was a friend of OW and OW had asked her for legal advice. I'm not sure why that meant calling me.