Emergency! My IM has informed me, since she does not know how she should handle this, that My WH and OW are going to call police on me and have me charged for going to her apartment yesterday. I attached for my IM copy of court order that my children are not to have contact with OW while in care of my WH. I then informed my IM that I was picking up my son from OW house where WH had him. And that this was a violation of the court order. I called my lawyer and informed him I need an order of protection against OW for me and my children. Does anyone have any advice on this? Please?

Let them call the police then.

If (not when, ok?) they show up, you tell them why you were there.

This is nuts.

And you know this is OW driving this, right? She's pissed because you exist and dared to show up in her face.

If this violated the court order, ask your lawyer what (if any) recourse you may have here. I don't know what is required for a protective order, but I wouldn't blame you for trying.

I know Nwood. He also told IM that as long as I do not expose anymore and agree to leave her alone, he will not call police on me.And that I have to remove her name form my divorce. I don't know if the judge will let me keep it, but I sure am going to try. Who in the hell allows a OW to call cops on BS , knowing I did not do anything to them . What that I told the truth? I told IM that I do not want to hear anymore about this. I am protecting myself and my kids. That is my JOB! I think I should re-expose ! It seems to be working.

Good for you for telling the IM not to relay this to you anymore.

I'd sure as sh*t NOT change a thing on your divorce papers. Leave her name in there bigger than anything. If the vets agree (wouldn't want to mess up your Plan B) I'd pass on his little "or else" statement to his parents and friends and let them know how he is behaving.

Perhaps it's juvenile, but sometimes you kind of need to get the last word in, no? My wife's OM said something like that to me once, and, just to be nice, I sent exposure letters to his parents, sister and every single co-worker that same day. Never heard from him again.

I am ready to expose to as many as I can find, but I do not want to go to jail. So I need to probably wait a bit so it is a surprise. WH tells IM that OW reason for this is she is scared??? When you SLEEP with a MARRIED person, you should be ready for the consequences. I just need to not do anything that can jeopardize me or my kids. She is a chicken and I know this, because the last married man she had, she called the cops on his wife too. ANd ruined that poor woman's life. So I need to be careful.But at least I know there is trouble in paradise. I just hate that those two Turds are planning evil against me.

IM is my SIL .She thinks that WH sees action yesterday as a chance to throw me in jail and get a felony against me to take my kids. My IM loves us and that is why she told me. But I am sticking to my Plan, he can end his affair and reconcile , but I am not cowering for NOONE! You should have seen her face when I told her that he tells me he loves me, and that he wants me back. She was pale as a ghost and he could not stop stammering.

Does anyone have any experience with orders of protection?

Take a deep breath. It's going to be okay.

They are going to have you charged with what? It's not against the law to visit someone.

After you're there, if she asks you to leave, then you should leave. Once you've been told that you're not welcome, then you start running into problems with trespassing.

Going over to her house was not illegal.

But, if your child was there in direct violation of a court order, then your WH CAN be charged with contempt. You need to talk to your lawyer about that ASAP.

One time my WH came to my house (in my name only) and OPENED the FREAKING door. I told him to leave or I was going to call the cops. He didn't leave, so I called the police while he was there. They came, but he was long gone by the time someone showed up. They very reluctantly took a report, but nothing happened to WH. He wasn't charged with anything.

You WH is much more likely to be in trouble than you, but you need to press your attorney about filing contempt charges. You also need to find out what your options are to keep the kids away from OW.

Oh, and tell your IM that this information gets no response from your side. It's always nice to know what the enemy is planning to do to you, but you don't need to tell them that you will be seeking charges against your WH. Besides, they are probably bluffing. People who really press charges go to the police. They don't warn the other person.

Have you exposed this to everyone already? If you have, which should be done all at once BTW, then I would say that you not expose again. If you haven't, then you need to expose this, TODAY.

See, OW are amazingly good at playing the dumsels in distress. You made yourself look like the bog ol' meany wife and WH needs to protect her from you. It played right into her hand. Also, he needs to show his solidarity with her since you let his cat out of the bag, he is lying to her. She won't like that, not one bit.

Now, don't break Plan B again, k? If you find out that WH has your DS at OW's house(although being in Plan B, I don't know how you will until after the fact), you should have someone else, AND the police go over there.

I don't know how you will get an order of protection against the OW, but I can see how she will try to get one against you.

Hang Tough.

When I expose how should the note read? Should I say she is not to have contact with my kids? Should I say they are threatening me? How do I word this?

Torn, who have you exposed to so far? Did you FB expose to the OW side? Did you ever find her parents?

I found her mom, her ex husband,her fiancee or boyfriend,then I got blocked on FB. I wish I knew how to get at her friends list, but I didn't copy and paste because I was too slow. Boy I wish I would have.If I continue to expose is this harassment? Because tomorrow I am calling my lawyer and telling him my WH violated our court order. My MIL has been calling all morning begging me to leave OW alone, to move on, her son is not worth it. I told her I am fighting for my marriage . She says that the OW is very meek, I say WHEN YOU SLEEP WITH MARRIED MEN , YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEIR WIVES... PERIOD.I then asked her not to contact me again unless she had something useful to say. She says her son loves OW and that he is protecting her. I said I am protecting my marriage, myself, and my kids.

I also exposed last time to as many coworkers as would listen. But I am worried , I do not want them to paint me as an unfit mom or start questioning my parenting. If I go to court for his contempt of the court order, do I risk this POS and his OW to have this removed from my temporary order? I am in need of advice...

If you have already exposed this, then there is no reason to reexpose.

Absolutely puruse the contempt of court order if he had the children at OW's house and he wasn't supposed to. Why would that risk having OW taken off the order? I am not sure I am following you on this...

I hope some other Plan Bers will weigh in but your IM shouldn't be giving you any of this type of information. The threat to call the police was a ploy to scare you and shouldn't have been passed along. Does she have the IM training guide?

ITA with SusieQ.

I would say that you already exposed this, you are in Plan B(although you had a little hiccup) and now you need to sit back and let Plan B work on you.

Talk to your lawyer about what you can do about WH bringing your DS to OW's house.

Absolutely DO NOT remove OW from your D papers. Whatever pressure can be put on her, in the way of consequences, will benefit you.

See what happened when you broke Plan B? You fed into their drama and they escalated it. Remove yourself from the drama and see what life has to offer you. No one can tell you what is going to happen in the future, but I can predict that if you break Plan B again, you will get more and more drama.

Your WH can flop around as much as he wants to. You have not done anything illegal as far as I know and he can call the police until he turns purple, but they won't do anything to you.

The only time people get into trouble is when they tell LIES that cause damage. If the truth causes damage, then that's the consequences for wrong-doing.

He is trying to frighten you into doing what he wants. Do NOT remove the OWs name from the divorce papers.

If you have not completed exposure, make sure that you go ahead and finish. You do not need to re-expose because he's making threats and acting like a jerk, though. (Although if you have a good relationship with his parents/family, you might consider telling them about the threats.)

Thanks everyone. I know now exactly why I will NOT break plan B. No my IM does not have the training guide. Can someone post the link? In regards to the OW , I thought that since the OW is only on the temporary court order, my WH could remove it in the final divorce decree. And I have exposed the threats to our older children and my WH mom, dad,sister and bil. And my MIL says I should not call the OW exhusband, because I am causing trouble. Funny when the SH** hits the fan. I told her to help me fight for my marriage and quit believing my WH.

I posted the guide for you back on 5/12, go back a couple of pages.

Can I recommend that you don't talk to your MIL about WH anymore? It is helping to keep you stuck in the wayward drama that you need to distance yourself from!

In a divorce, either both parties make an agreement or they have a trial before a judge. If you end up divorced, your WH does not get to decide all by himself what is in the divorce decree.

What is your temporary court order about? Is it a temporary custody agreement?

In my divorce, there were two main agreements:
1. A permanent custody agreement which outlines everything to do with visitation and financial support of the children, and
2. A marital dissolution agreement which described how the marital assets were to be divided and has all the details about on-going spousal support (alimony).

The details of these agreements were decided in mediation, we both had to sign them, and we are both legally bound to follow them.