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AEK, I would drop the friends and not look back. If they are going to support her, they are not worth your time. Seriously. You need to focus most of your attention on your R right now anyway...
Re the MB weekend, they are not held anymore. Instead they offer it online seminar with a past weekend on video. Like the weekend program, you will get year of follow up/guidance with an MB accountability coach who works directly with Dr Harley. You will also have lifetime access to the private forum where Dr Harley posts.
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You mentioned feeling lonely, how much UA time are you and your H spending together?
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Soooo frustrating! People are terrified to stick up for what is right. They don't want to ruffle feathers. Cowards....
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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ITA with Susie, AEK. Look at it like this: you have survived a life-altering event. As such, you have gained a completely different outlook and perspective now. Those friends from your 'old' life don't have that. You have outgrown them.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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A friend has just called to say that the OW thought that my H was going to leave me for her....shes telling everyone that?
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I know it's not true but that's what she thought - that's how she is justifying her behaviour to everyone and now they feel sorry for her!!!!!
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A friend has just called to say that the OW thought that my H was going to leave me for her....shes telling everyone that? It's her attempt at saving face. Lame-o.
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A friend has just called to say that the OW thought that my H was going to leave me for her....shes telling everyone that? Sometimes I'm a little slow. Is this in the present or past tense?
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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Sorry past tense. She had coffee with a friend a month ago and said "I thought X and I would be together now".........I cannot believe that she really thought that - why is her H still with her....I don;t get that. And I don't get people being her friend....
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A friend has just called to say that the OW thought that my H was going to leave me for her....shes telling everyone that? Bigger question: and they still don't realize what a skanky friend they're running with?? Silly wayward. Silly friends. 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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The friend that told me 'gets' it totally and can see her for what she is.....but others cannot and are telling me to move on......they don;t understand that contact with them triggers me.
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The friend that told me 'gets' it totally and can see her for what she is.....but others cannot and are telling me to move on......they don;t understand that contact with them triggers me. AEK, you're going to have to go NC with these people. Do it and don't look back.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Sorry past tense. She had coffee with a friend a month ago and said "I thought X and I would be together now".........I cannot believe that she really thought that - why is her H still with her....I don;t get that. And I don't get people being her friend.... They were living in a fantasy world. This is typical wayward babble and from how you have described the OW it seems completely in character. It's all about her with no regard for your family or her own. I will say to you what was posted to me ... "Can you see that you need to get out of there?" For the past few days you seem to have gone into a backward tail spin and it is all related to issues with the OW. She is pulling you down and you will never get out as long as you remain in her circle. She is manipulative and vindictive. July is not soon enough to move. Take control of your life and start to take those steps forward again. As maritailbliss said, you have outgrown your old life. She is very wise.
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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You people are so wise....not sure what I would do without you.....have suggested this site to many of my unhappy friends. NC is the only option.....it's just very lonely. In reality there are 3/4 people that see her and I can do without them in my life. I am fine with everyone else; it's just those that continue to see her that trigger me.....shame that one of them was my local BFF.
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One thing I struggle with is why I should expect my friend to choose between us. She and her H are friendly with OW and OWH as they are with me and my H - how can I expect her to choose...? I guess I am the one that has to....sad.
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Aek, can we get back to your R?  How much UA time are you and your H spending together a week? Are you scheduling it and what types of things are you doing?
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One thing I struggle with is why I should expect my friend to choose between us. She and her H are friendly with OW and OWH as they are with me and my H - how can I expect her to choose...? I guess I am the one that has to....sad. AEK1 you're going round and round in circles here trying to make sense ot the unsensible. See for me, I don't like to associate with home wrecking whores - but that's just me. You aren't asking her to choose - it's just her moral compass is not aligned with decency - not your fault and nothing you can do about it. I personally don't associate with people who try and wreck marriages and families.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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She is pulling you down and you will never get out as long as you remain in her circle. She is manipulative and vindictive. Yes. She has waaayyy to much power over you. Take that power back. She doesn't exist in your world and anyone who chooses to befriend her shouldn't exist either. They are not friends to your marriage.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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We are def spending 15 hours together per week as he is not working and I am doing Pt. We are plating golf, walking , chatting, looking at houses. Does that sound ok?
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We are def spending 15 hours together per week as he is not working and I am doing Pt. We are playing golf, walking , chatting, looking at houses. Does that sound ok? I suggest adding in to those 15 hours meeting the top two ENs for both of you. For most men it's SF and RC and for women, it's Intimate Conversation and Affection. Adjust it to your specific situation. Playing golf is great since it's both RC and probably conversation. And 15 hours is the minimum. Dr. Harley recommends more UA for those in crisis-type situations. Definitely in our case, we needed more than 15 hours meeting each others needs. Over time, this has really helped us. As to your "friends" who side with OW or who won't take a stand, I think much of society is this way, sadly. Too cowardly to "rock the boat" or make anyone mad at them. We need more folks to stand up for what's right. You will make new friends in your new location. I know moving is hard, but for you and your family, it is a much needed new beginning.
Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010
Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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