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the last weekend/trip was supposed to be our renewal............that was march. we are headed in the right direction i hope, going to spend the weekend fixing the dumb boat ( i say dumb bc it so much work, harder than this - and less rewarding), maybe spend the night on it, who knows?? trying to get back to plan a- ing it. it was fun, and rewarding.

normal- is new to me.


Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan

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My husband and I rented a cabin in the woods for the weekend about a month after d-day. Before MB it would have been a very boring weekend. I was not looking forward to it at all because we always had to have "something to do". I took a deck of cards and a few board games that could be played by 2 players.....I don't think the cards made it out of the car and the only time the tv even got turned on was right before we left. We sat outside on the porch swing and watched the birds during the morning and the fire at night and just talked and held each other.

That was my turning point. I think I posted here right before we went because I was worried the driving would be a trigger but we were so in tune with each other it was wonderfull.


Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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Congratulations!! That sounds awesome! Woo-hoo!!!! hurray


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Originally Posted by chickadee1
normal- is new to me.

Yeah, it's kind of strange sometimes.

Luvsdavid makes a good point about how the most innocuous trips can sometimes be the best ones. Sometimes things that seem hokey or boring can be a lot of fun smile


Me (BH)
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Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2

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Checking in on you, chickadee. How are things going? Even though there are bound to good days and bad days, hopefully things are gradually getting better? smile


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
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things are going ok, lets say a good day today, we had a checkup with jennifer last night, she told me what you all have, i should take it easy! she gave him a to do list.

the trigger thing is hard, my H is doing great, he really is working on this very hard. and he is helping me now. I am on a stupid halter monitor, now thats giving me the dreads. I really think that the bunnie burner is going to rear her ugly head, i have a gut feeling. he has his plan of whats supposed to happen, but what happens if she gets to me?

Also thoughts, H lent Baby momma money. I can 1. call it a loss. 2. donate it to charity. 3. have her pay my DSS instead. thoughts? and how do i communicate my plan to her?


I really have to start on his EN's, I gave myself a D- last week.

I am working on a plan for this weekend, hokey and all.

look i just talked myself into a frenzy! thats funny, really.

I have to get my sense of humor back, anyone seen it?

thank you for checking in!



Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan

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Originally Posted by chickadee1
I am on a stupid halter monitor, now thats giving me the dreads. I really think that the bunnie burner is going to rear her ugly head, i have a gut feeling. he has his plan of whats supposed to happen, but what happens if she gets to me?


Sorry to hear about the halter. How are your palpitations doing? If they are still troubling you, have you ever thought about yoga? It is something that I discovered after dday and it truly helped me ~ very theraputic and helps to ease the stress and anxiety.

How would bunny boiler get through? Have all the avenues in which she could contact you two been eliminated/changed?


Quote
Also thoughts, H lent Baby momma money. I can 1. call it a loss. 2. donate it to charity. 3. have her pay my DSS instead. thoughts? and how do i communicate my plan to her?


Numbers 2 and 3 can only be an option if your DSS can handle it because NC is for both of you ~ you cannot have any contact with her. What does your H think? Might be a good thing to POJA. If the $$ is not a big concern for you to get back, I would probably go with 1 just to avoid any further drama with her...


Quote
I have to get my sense of humor back, anyone seen it?

Yes, awesome! smile


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
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they are just dbl checking, i have alot of MD friends so they are watching out for me. was doing yoga before, and i just called to rebook today!! I loved it and it did work keeping my stress down. H is gonna try it also, should be very funny.

yes everything is changed, the only reason i can think is bc she a psycho, she knows where i work, from before i pulled all of sites down, fb linkedn... if you google me i can still be found thru work things. i know i am being crazy, but i know how to find alot about people and she has alot of time on her hands, and shes desperate to find a good man. HA!

is enough money that it would help 2 or 3. i will ask DSS, see how he feels. Sad and silly i dont want it in my house, you pay for what you get.... that was mean.



Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan

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Ok, I am remembering the OW from the beginning of your thread now. That's the one that was sent a cease and desist letter? Don't hesitate to get an RO if she makes any type of contact again.... Hopefully she has moved on if you haven't heard anything for this long. *fingers crossed*

That's soooo great that your H will do yoga with you! I have been trying to get my H to do it for a while now...IMO he needs it (oops, was that a DJ? lol) If you are interested in a yoga DVD, Kristen McGee has a really good Power Yoga. It's got great reviews on Amazon and it's very affordable! smile


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
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ok i am a witch!- baby momma emailed h 2x last night and 1 to me.

what do i do? i am shaking-

1st week no real A drama.

the NC letter was clear and i sent it!


Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan

Joined: Nov 2010
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Time to close those email addresses or block the mails from the witch!

Closing the email is probably the best and get new ones.


Me - 46
Wife - 43
2 x DD
Married 18 yrs - known each other for 22 yrs
Woke up 12/2009 and realized I was an idiot for neglecting my WIFE!
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Originally Posted by chickadee1
ok i am a witch!- baby momma emailed h 2x last night and 1 to me.

what do i do? i am shaking-

1st week no real A drama.

the NC letter was clear and i sent it!

Okay, calm down sweetie. I know that icky feeling. Is there anyway that you can set up your email program to automatically forward all emails unopened to another folder? You may need to hang on to them for legal purposes down the road, but for now you can ignore them. She has nothing to say to you or your WH that can't be said through a legal process if it comes to that. Force her to go that route. Don't acknowledge receipt. If you can't resist the temptation to read them, forward them to a trusted third party (preferably an attorney's assistant) to filter any important messages. I don't recall your whole story but just because someone makes a claim or threatens you with legal action doesn't mean they will prevail. You are under no obligation to even acknowledge her existence until and unless she forces the issue legally. If she continues with this behavior then you and you WH will have legal options to shut her down.

Breathe. She is not important to your marriage. You and your WH need to present a united front and decide how to handle this together. Hugs!!


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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ok update- the emails were not from her but from DSS. but the name in the to field was hers and the email address is his. on mine also, why would that happen? until you clicked on the name you would have thought it was her.


Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan

Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721
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Joined: Mar 2011
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h was great, but he saw how a silly mistake can upset the apple cart. still shaking, but am feeling better. thanks pb and pm, you were right on it.

how did the name thing happen? any techys out there? just the sight of the name set me off. on all 3 emails, it said her name as the contact and was his address.


Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan

Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 581
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That email address can be set up in your contacts with her name on it and it will show that way....

OR you can configure an email account and it will ask you what name to put on it and her name is there instead of DSS.

I would check your contacts first and see if that email address is under her name

(I still have OW's email address in my outlook and it will come up as "the slut" if she tries to contact my FWH.)

Last edited by LuvsDavid; 05/27/11 11:37 AM.

Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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she was deleted, it was very strange. my IT guys are confused. when you hovered on it DDS pix was there. just annoying. i am fulfilling RN big time! so i think i will get a c+ or a b this week. power tools and all. i know y'all thought the fake nails she is a princess, not at all! maybe a B+.

emailed DSS that i needed to skype him to discuss the loan, he needs the money- but i dont want to put him in the middle of this- money and sex and parents.

everyday i am thankful that i found you all! you have been a savior to my sanity.


Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
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Hey chickadee,

I'd agree that not pursuing the debt yourself is best and that it should be left to DSS to collect if he desires.

Either way, you and your husband have zilch to do with it.

Why don't you just ditch the email address entirely? People do it all the time and it'd be one less thing to worry about. Food for thought.

Hope next week goes great for you guys!


Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2

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well the weekend has gone great. fulfilled lots of EN's! i think i will get an A this week.

but i am still triggered, alot, random thoughts racing in and out of my head. making myself a bit nuts. how do you put the thoughts aside, doing great things all weekend and each time i do a snicker to myself, saying yeah this is great but..........



Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,448
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Happy to hear the weekend went well!

I haven't ever read this thread but many have said it was helpful to them....maybe you can get some good mileage out of it too:
Managing Memories and Triggers


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721
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I actually read that and downloaded some things. though it got me a bit stressed. so much info.

It it normal to wonder why now, all of a sudden you are head over heals??? i know H is glad i didnt kick his butt to the curb, but i just am wondering, is this one of your lies also? maybe reading into too much.

Hope you all are having a wonderful memorial day and relaxing!

Looking on-line to book a vacation as directed! Looking at ireland, suggestions? we will do some family/ancestry town things. but then just expore.


Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan

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