What do you do when WW will not respond to IM as she has stated? Also, how was I supposed to respond to the text received by DD?

Ignore WW. If she doesn't have any other venue to you....she will use an IM.

Texts from DD......hmmmmm.......ask DD to text IM next time it is an issue about pick up or drop off or anything other than "Luv U Dad" "Night XXXOOO" "Miss you"

Put the number for IM in dd's cell and tell IM they may get a text from her.

That's almost exactly what was put through.

Good work CV. I figured that Mark could count on you.

Mark, ALL WS's refuse to use the IMs at first. Eventually, they get with the program. They have to.

Please, don't use your DD as an IM. Explain the IM to your DD. Tell her that you communicate through someone else. That when you need to tell Mommy something, you will send it through the email and your WW will do the same. Hopefully, your WW will stop using your child as an IM.

Make it clear to the courts that you refuse to send messages through your DD as you believe it to be harmful to her. That you have found someone who will communicate with your WW on your behalf. Explain that your intent is to use the IM as a filter only and that all pertinent info will go through him.

My WH refused to use the IM at first too, now, he uses them whenever he needs to communicate things. Does he use them for frivolous things? Dunno, my IM is really good. I trust her completely and it allows me to focus on my own healing.

I kinda figured that she would be adamantly against it. The thing that somewhat bothers me today is the fact that she refused to use the dropoff point so that I could have my time with daughter today. Daughter usually sends a text when she is there for me to pickup. No text came today.

Who does this look worse for me, for refusing to break plan b and go to WW's apartment, or WW for trying to force me to do that and refusing to drop DD off today.

I have chatted with DD today so all was not lost. I also told her that I was at her play. She didn't believe me until I told her what she was wearing and what she did in the play. I know you all will probably kill for having gone but i didn't break NC.

It depends. What kind of agreement do you have right now?

If you were divorced and had a written custody agreement that spelled everything out, and WW refused to drop off at the agreed upon location, then she would be guilty of custodial interference. If she did that enough times, it could be grounds for a change of custody.

I am divorced and my agreement is very specific. It says where and when pickups/drop-offs are to occur. It says who is supposed to provide transportation. In highly contentious divorces or where there is a restraining order, pickups and drop-offs are often done in a neutral location.

If a judge were to review the situation, I don't think he would have a problem with a neutral location. If you have an agreement about where pickups/drop-offs are to occur and you WW has been willing to use that location in the past, and she then reneged on the agreement, then she is at fault. Not you.

All you vets, what do you all think about me revisiting the pickup/dropoff arrangements through my IM? It's something that we've been doing for a while so I don't understand why she wouldn't do it today.

If I do this, I will have something in writing via email that will back me up if she ever tries to this again. How should I word it?

Nothing really new to report. Just wanted to drop in and say that things are going okay as far as I'm concerned. I still do have thoughts about my WW but i guess after 11 years, it's hard for them to simply go away. I continue to pray daily that things will work out according to Gods plan.

Take care of yourself and stay dark.

So here I am, a couple of days away from our next court appearance, a provisional modification hearing to get me to stop contacting her (prior to plan b) and to get the judge to censor me and what I tell our DD. She took my attempt at plan a from a distance via morning jokes through email and good night texts as threatening. WT_? How well do you think that will go over?

Do you have copies of the emails and texts that you sent?

Stay calm.

Just document everything you have been experiencing. Save texts, emails, and maybe get a character reference from your pastor.

My suggestion is to make sure your lawyer knows everything that is happening and your wishes and CS and visitation are stated to him clearly. You want him going in and fighting hard for you.

Good luck! Tough~

Scotty, I have the emails but not the texts. I don't know how to get them off my phone.

IITL, neither of us have lawyers. I will be the one stating my case. I don't want this but she is so far out there it's unreal. I almost want to double check and see if WW and strugglingaz are not the same person. They sound just alike.

I don't think her request for me to end contact with her will go well. Nor do I think her request to have me censored will go through. Actually, the judge cannot tell me what I can tell DD or how to raise her. It really doesn't matter to me what he says.

She said she also wants to change to have visitation guidelines meet state requirements. If she goes there, would that be the time to make known my desire for full custody? I really just want 50/50 but it doesn't hurt to shoot for the moon. If I make it known, do judges usually ask why? If so, would her adulterous living be my reason to limit her maternal influence?

Forward them to your e-mail.. just like you would forward a text.

I can send some but it says it can't send the ones with special features. I can't send the profanity laced ones from her. I think they are too long.

That's cuz you're using a mac! AT&T, right?

http://www.iphone-sms.com/

Backing up sms to a pc.

I suppose you can use the actual phone to document texts too?

So I think I have all but decided that I'm going to let it all hang out tomorrow in court if WW does what she says about changing visitation and trying to censor me (which is proof that she's doing something that's not right).

I have email copies of texts where she threatened to keep daughter away, where she was verbally abusive, where she tried to use daughter to do something other than what she claimed, proof of infidelity prior to and after filing divorce, others who have witnessed and been victims of her verbal abuse, and I am going to ask for full custody. I've also got several emails from over several months where she says she will no longer argue/cuss at me which is proof that she never stopped.

I think I can build a great case for how unstable it will be for our daughter to grow up in that environment.

What do you guys think? Wouldn't that be one heck of a wakeup call?

Any thoughts guys?