|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 717
Member
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 717 |
Walked down to the beach this eve. Wife suggested a nice walk. Chilly but very nice! (MN beach you know. Probably still ice out on the lake)
Suggest a walk after dinn. No heavy talk. Just UA time. See how she felt through the day. What moved her today? Made her laugh? Frustrated? Content? Tell her something new you learned that interested you today.
Me: 43 ExWW: 44 Married 16yrs. 4 children
EA (ExWW): May-Nov 2009 + Aug-Dec 2010 D-DAY JAN 30, 2011 Exposure: FEB 7, 2011 Contact Again: Apr 25, 2011 Divorce Final Sept 2012
"I want to be married and stay married. Now I uunderstand the kind of marriage I want and we all deserve. But I also know it takes two to want to Build that Marriage."
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653 |
Hey stretch- good to hear you had a good evening. Things are getting back on track, right?
Thanks for the tips, too. It's easy to forget, and a reminder always comes in handy!
Unfortunately, it's damn near 90 every day this week-- going for a "nice walk" is more akin to visiting a sauna.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 717
Member
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 717 |
Even after the sun starts to go down?
Man, its like the opposite of cabin fever for you down there. Up here, we are stuck in the house all winter. Down south, you get stuck in the house all summer.
I'm fixin' to spend the next 3 months outside the house as much as possible. Y'all.
You betcha. Ya sure.
Me: 43 ExWW: 44 Married 16yrs. 4 children
EA (ExWW): May-Nov 2009 + Aug-Dec 2010 D-DAY JAN 30, 2011 Exposure: FEB 7, 2011 Contact Again: Apr 25, 2011 Divorce Final Sept 2012
"I want to be married and stay married. Now I uunderstand the kind of marriage I want and we all deserve. But I also know it takes two to want to Build that Marriage."
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686 |
Thank god for internet. The great staver-offer of cabin fever...
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653 |
Even after the sun starts to go down?
Man, its like the opposite of cabin fever for you down there. Up here, we are stuck in the house all winter. Down south, you get stuck in the house all summer.
I'm fixin' to spend the next 3 months outside the house as much as possible. Y'all.
You betcha. Ya sure. Hello Mr. Stretch! Hope all is well on the homefront, and that's an admirable attempt that you made to talk like a native here. You even spelled y'all correctly...you make me so proud! (sniffle) We spent Thursday-Sunday at a church retreat, had a great time and it was definitely a humbling experience. To spare readers the boring details, my wife finally talked about how she was only yesterday able to forgive herself. Though she hasn't really talked much about it, the guilt over everything was causing a great deal of turmoil within herself. One of the speakers told of his ex-wife who divorced him for a OM. Then she left OM1 for OM2, married OM2 and then left OM2 for OM3. All the while, the speaker was trying to make sure their son was ok while living with the mother. My wife said she felt like it was a sign of where she almost went, and is so glad that she didn't got that route as she just *knew* that's how she would have ended up. I said my thinking was the opposite, how I had feared that I'd be like the guest speaker. It was a bittersweet moment for both of us. It wasn't a "marriage" retreat and the speaker talking of this wasn't part of the "curriculum". The timing, however, couldn't have been better. It sounded like she had one of those "at peace" moments...shoot, I think we both did. We both said that the weekend changed us for the better. It did. Funny how we had to go through all this excrement to get our lives cleaned up.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1 |
Even after the sun starts to go down?
Man, its like the opposite of cabin fever for you down there. Up here, we are stuck in the house all winter. Down south, you get stuck in the house all summer.
I'm fixin' to spend the next 3 months outside the house as much as possible. Y'all.
You betcha. Ya sure. Hello Mr. Stretch! Hope all is well on the homefront, and that's an admirable attempt that you made to talk like a native here. You even spelled y'all correctly...you make me so proud! (sniffle) We spent Thursday-Sunday at a church retreat, had a great time and it was definitely a humbling experience. To spare readers the boring details, my wife finally talked about how she was only yesterday able to forgive herself. Though she hasn't really talked much about it, the guilt over everything was causing a great deal of turmoil within herself. One of the speakers told of his ex-wife who divorced him for a OM. Then she left OM1 for OM2, married OM2 and then left OM2 for OM3. All the while, the speaker was trying to make sure their son was ok while living with the mother. My wife said she felt like it was a sign of where she almost went, and is so glad that she didn't got that route as she just *knew* that's how she would have ended up. I said my thinking was the opposite, how I had feared that I'd be like the guest speaker. It was a bittersweet moment for both of us. It wasn't a "marriage" retreat and the speaker talking of this wasn't part of the "curriculum". The timing, however, couldn't have been better. It sounded like she had one of those "at peace" moments...shoot, I think we both did. We both said that the weekend changed us for the better. It did. Funny how we had to go through all this excrement to get our lives cleaned up. My FWW has only to look at her own mother to know the wayward path... I guess sometimes we need to be smelly and covered in crap to appreciate what clean really is?
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721
Member
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721 |
update please....
hope y'all are doing well
Me 44- yes ugggh WH 47 together 26 years M 19 serial cheater big time DD1 2.24.11 NC letter sent 3/7/11 NC letter to OW2 april final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18 working the plan
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653 |
Doing well, chickadee, and thanks for checking in.
We found a church we like, have met a lot of good people and kind of starting to feel alive again. This time last year wasn't that great and it seems like a long time ago and only yesterday all at once. I suspect that makes sense?
Overall, things are looking up and we both feel positive.
Did y'all get that trip planned? Less than a month and we're off to the beach for a week. It has hit 100 a few times this week already, kind of ready to feel an ocean breeze right about now.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721
Member
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721 |
that is great!! very happy for you. busy strech at work for a few weeks. he has been planning a weekend but kinda quite about it, not being bossy and asking, just letting him surprise me. still having nightmares.... hope they stop. no palps for a few days, so that good
Me 44- yes ugggh WH 47 together 26 years M 19 serial cheater big time DD1 2.24.11 NC letter sent 3/7/11 NC letter to OW2 april final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18 working the plan
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653 |
Good to hear that the heart palpitations have passed. Hopefully the trip and just getting away from all the mess will help with the nightmares. One day at a time, right
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653 |
Chickadee-- Would you mind dropping in here if you get a chance... http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...flat&Number=2517609&#Post2517609The poster has a WH with a truth-telling problem and I think she should try the phone counseling. Maybe you could offer some input?
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721
Member
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721 |
Me 44- yes ugggh WH 47 together 26 years M 19 serial cheater big time DD1 2.24.11 NC letter sent 3/7/11 NC letter to OW2 april final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18 working the plan
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653 |
Thanks for posting to her-- she sounded kind of stuck, not sure what to do, and I understood that you guys had good results with the phone counseling.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653 |
Wow, chickadee, LOL, why don't you tell her what you *really* think! I know how it is to be kind of stuck and hesitant, but, dammit, sometimes I just want to jump through the computer screen and tell the poor BS to quit letting their stupid wayward run the show! UGGGHH!!!
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721
Member
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721 |
i dont know enough yet but yes i can be a bitc --need sone vets to jump in on her, then I can take a step back, was i wrong? i was much luckier with my WH, i had no long term draggin it out WH crap, he was a wham bam thank you mam guy, beyond too mant times- if not i would have been arrested.. and dating by now.. ha !
Me 44- yes ugggh WH 47 together 26 years M 19 serial cheater big time DD1 2.24.11 NC letter sent 3/7/11 NC letter to OW2 april final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18 working the plan
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653 |
Not in my book! I really think she should tell her husband to cut the crap, get the Harleys on the phone and get a plan together before her WH goes astray again. Aren't you the one that threw a roll of toilet paper at your H?
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721
Member
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 721 |
proudly! a roll of charmin i might add - no crappy tp ( tee hee) and a renewal wedding gown, oh yeah i was reminded by H that t also threw a FULL bottle of wine, at the wall, same night- blocked it out- not.. i just didng aim fo him at all., but i also cleaned it up. i remember that, not a proud moment again. look into http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2517848#Post2517848being a bit of bich tonight- guess i am getting back to myself... im really not mean
Me 44- yes ugggh WH 47 together 26 years M 19 serial cheater big time DD1 2.24.11 NC letter sent 3/7/11 NC letter to OW2 april final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18 working the plan
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653 |
being a bit of bich tonight Not hardly...just someone that has a certain perspective and doesn't want to see someone else go through it.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,137
Member
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,137 |
Hey NW! Your thread was getting all musty smelling and there was a ton of dust on it! Just checking in for a status update... Last post here was over a month ago... Assuming that no news is GOOD news right? Let us know how things are going with you and your (hopefully) FWW
Me: BH (47) Her: WW (46) DD9 DD12 DD20 D-Day 2-3-2011 Exposure 2-23-2011 Plan B letter given 7-12-2011 Divorce Complete 11/2012 Re-Married June 28, 2014
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,719
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,719 |
NW - yeah, I agree with TimB. What's up with you? I'll also assume it's good news.
BS(me)- 45 WW - 41 D-day 1 - (PA) 01/2011 DS - 6 Exposure: early 02/2011 Started Plan B - 7/11
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
0 members (),
188
guests, and
64
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|