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I live in CA and OW is pregnant due in 1 month, she has kind of lost it and is already asking for money. We havn't given her any. WH and I went to a lawyer and he said that it didn't make a difference in the ammount of CS that OW would get if I filed for CS and spousal support so he told us I didn't need to file for CS or spousal support. My WH and I are together and plan on working this out, but we have three children and want to make sure the OW doesn't try to take tons of money from us. Does anyone else live in CA and has gone through this and knows about CS laws. Please help, should I file for child support to lower the amount we have to pay for CS?
Yes, I live CA. Do you work? Does your WH make more money than you? There is a CS calculator on-line that you can google. In my case legal separation would not help because I made more than my FWH. If your WH makes more than you then you definitely need to file for legal separation and for CS for your 3 COM. It is most definitely first come/first served in this state. CA is also unique that you can continue to live together while legally separated.
I don't work. She has a job but I think she plans on leaving her job from the way her messsages sound she makes more than my husband right now and is not married. The lawyer said the amount of dependents are figured into the equation if you file for CS or not, is this true and would it make a difference if I file for Spousal support?
I would not give in to a DNA test until she takes you to court and one is ordered. She'll have to put out some money to get a DNA test, so if she doesn't have the money she may not even pursue that hard. Though, you may also want to check to see if she can sue you for her court costs and see how you can protect yourself from that too. Make sure you talk to a GOOD attorney. Some are clueless but ACT like they know what they're doing (I had one of those in my own family law case), which could cost you down the road.
My heart breaks for you, but cling to your H and keep focusing on rebuilding your relationship despite this "for worse" period.
Me: WW BH DD(4) DS(2) DD(1)
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
you should not give her a dime until dna is proven. even then not until after the baby is born
your attorney may say it doesn't matter but i can tell you 1st hand that when om finally divorced (d) his ex got squat for their 16 year old son (yos) and 7 yo special needs daughter (dd)
also they may say that "all" the children are looked on equally BUT what the judge does in the court room is sometimes far different then what is "supposed" to happen
i say file for a legal separation and get cs and ss
me-59 ww-55 married 1979 - together since 1974 6 kids together 15,19,21,23,29,30 my oldest son 37 d-day (confession day) memorial day 2001 oc born 12/20/01 now 8 grandchildren