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CALLING VETS PLEASE REVIEW PLAN B LETTER ON THIS THREAD
BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months
Divorced
Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.
If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.
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Just to check also, the other conditions is just a sit down negotiation between us? Do I have to stand firm on them all?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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"Never realised how tough I was before this." I did. From you first post. 
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What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Just some minor tweaking ....
Dearest H, Put some loving memory first.
"I knew I was falling for you the moment (insert memory)." I apologize to you for my part in creating an environment that helped make your affair with OW possible. I foolishly left you to grieve on your own. OW saw an opportunity, and stepped in.
I was not there for you when you needed me the most, and we are now both suffering for my mistake. I am willing to avoid learning from the mistakes I�ve made in the past. I did not make you my number one priority. That was my big error. I have left you alone to pursue my own interests and friends. When you did the same I criticised you, instead of identifying it as my mistake too. If we are going to have a future together, I promise you, you are my number one priority. I want to create a new life for both of us. that will meet your needs and mine. A marriage where we joyfully meet each other's needs. A marriage where we are in love with each other. But I cannot do that However, that wonderful marriage is not possible until you end your relationship with OW once and for all. Until then, I will avoid seeing not see you, I will not speak with you. you or talking to you. Our friend ? has agreed to act as an intermediary for any communication you may need to get to me. I ask you to respect my decision to separate from you in this way. You must know the suffering I have endured because of your relationship with OW. I simply cannot be with you any longer, knowing that you are with her. I still love you but I cannot see you under these conditions. Your affair rips my heart out, and my suffering must be tended to.As soon as you are willing to have permanently separate d from her and are willing to follow certain measures to ensure total separation, I will be willing to discuss our future together. I want us to be able to rebuild our marriage some day. I want us to avoid doing anything to hurt each other. We need to build a new lifestyle in which everything we do makes us both happy. Then there will never again be a reason for us to separate. I want to be your best friend, someone who is always there for you when you need me. And I want you as my best friend. I loved you when we married and I continue to love you right up to this day. I just cannot be with you or help you as long as you are seeing her. With my love, Indie  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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Love it.
"I knew I was falling for you the moment after I said we could only be friends. Then minutes later I was finding myself kissing you in the rain by the paper shop. I've never looked back."
Can I do this soon, yoda? Impatience is a curse of mine
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Can I do this soon, yoda? Impatience is a curse of mine How awesome has your Plan A been the last week? Timing is strategic, and not based on your impatience. LOL
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Its not really been plan a, only mini plan a before exposure
I kicked him out he picked his stuff up today, he was very shaken
still in crazy denial
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Meet him for coffee in a few days.
Ask him a lot of open ended questions.
Say/reveal very little of yourself.
Cards close to the vest, yanno?
"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
"How do you define a well lived life?"
"What goal have you always wanted to pursue?"
Stuff like that.
Think of things before hand.
Remember .... you are trying to get him to open up.
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Then, after 45 minutes (no longer) you rise.
Say how nice it's been.
How great to sit and reconnect.
Tell him you must run off.
You have an appointment.
Smile.
Hug.
Kiss.
Leave quickly.
Skip away .....
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.... and then do NOT respond to any texts or phone calls or emails for 24 hours.
You're very busy.
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Yup. To the letter, Indie. Trust Pep.
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Yup. To the letter, Indie. Trust Pep. Yes. As usual, Pep delivers. Nice letter, Pep.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Pep my love, you are positively dangerous.
I am an apt pupil tho, this is just my sort of assignment.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Follow Pep wherever she will lead you. I did and I would say that she is the reason that I didn't regret one thing I did
Indie you are a superstar. You are much stroner than you can believe and if you follow these plans you will be even get stronger and stronger.
We will be here to support you and until you officially enter Plan B just remind your Taker that you WILl get relief.
Remember to take care of yourself and that Plan A is done without expectations. Plan B is also done without expectations.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Scotland has found my achilles heel, I am all about expectations.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Been reading and sending you much admiration and virtual hugs.
You rock, Indie!
41, Married with kids.
Love is most definitely an action, not inaction.
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Indie, I forgot to mention. You should make sure that your interactions at "coffee" should be light. If your WH tries to talk to you about your relationship' change the subject and don't let him bait you. You're doing GREAT.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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"I knew I was falling for you the moment after I said we could only be friends. Then minutes later I was finding myself kissing you in the rain by the paper shop. I've never looked back." Awesome. Sooooooooo romantic. Maybe the closing of your letter .... "I love you, rain or shine."
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"I knew I was falling for you the moment after I said we could only be friends. Then minutes later I was finding myself kissing you in the rain by the paper shop. I've never looked back." Awesome. Sooooooooo romantic. Maybe the closing of your letter .... "I love you, rain or shine." Aww, Pep, look at you and your way with words! indie, you've got great help in Pep - follow her wise counsel to the letter!
Me - 30 (FWW)
H - 30 (BH)
DSx2
D-day: 2008
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