Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 53 of 88 1 2 51 52 53 54 55 87 88
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by CWMI
Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
FWW and I went car shopping yesterday, with zero intention of buying a vehicle. Check them out, test drive them. Chit chat in transit.

Some times, you have to get creative.

My H sells cars, and he and I both dislike people who do this. If you want to look, fine, have at it. But leave the salesguy out of it, leave him free to help people actually in the market. You and your W stole valuable time from someone who is at least supporting him/herself, most likely a spouse and children, too. I can't even begin to tell you how many "ups" my H has missed by being busied by people who do this--fake out the salesperson, pretend to be interested and serious, but really out joyriding.

They don't get paid to take joyriders on test drives. Not one cent.

sigh

These are what you call the perils of a chosen career.

Now, while you huff and puff, what you aren't considering is this; up until I hit this last leg of schooling I upgraded my vehicle every other year, and have bought a few "run ugly" rigs for other uses.

Those salesman who I "stole valuable time" from, were rewarded with direct referrals when friends or family were in the market. Direct by-name and by-lot referrals. Often times, I am standing next to the friend or family member, and take them to the salesman personally. I have also followed good salesmen when they change dealerships.

Just my ignorant opinion, but a good salesman sells himself, and not the product, and he is rewarded with customer loyalty.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
Perils of a chosen career, eh?

Yep, putting up with timewasters on a "date night", that's definitely a peril. How about you be ethical, and plan your dates in a way that brings happiness to you AND does not harm others?


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
Did you tell the salesman you were ZERO interested in buying anything?

My h said you were "typical" and changing your story.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by CWMI
Did you tell the salesman you were ZERO interested in buying anything?

My h said you were "typical" and changing your story.

Originally Posted by CWMI
Perils of a chosen career, eh?

Yep, putting up with timewasters on a "date night", that's definitely a peril. How about you be ethical, and plan your dates in a way that brings happiness to you AND does not harm others?

I'm glad that I could facilitate some conversation between you and your H.

Beyond that, I don't really care about either of your opinions or judgements.

Have a good night.




"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
Timewaster. I do care. *Edit*


Last edited by MBSeasons; 06/13/11 08:39 PM.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 740
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 740
Originally Posted by CWMI
Time**edit**

What is wrong with you two? Bickermans I say! I don't even remember what I asked about.

Last edited by Fireproof; 06/13/11 08:53 PM. Reason: removing quote

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
**edit**

Last edited by Fireproof; 06/13/11 08:52 PM. Reason: TOS personal attack

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 746
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 746
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
What is wrong with you two? Bickermans I say! I don't even remember what I asked about.

How's your week going so far Hill?



Me: 30
Him: 39
Together 5 years
Married the very best man in the world 04/06/2013 after being common law for too long. I'm a lucky woman.
7 Cats - Viscount Ashley of Leftfield, Pawkie Petunia, The Timinator, Leo the Lionheart, Fruit Snack, Cloud, and Barret
And our very lucky pony, Starbucks
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 518
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 518
Let's get back on topic, please!

Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
*XXXXX*

Last edited by HoldHerHand; 06/13/11 09:02 PM.

"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 740
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 740
Originally Posted by HopefulNC
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
What is wrong with you two? Bickermans I say! I don't even remember what I asked about.

How's your week going so far Hill?

My week is fantastic, and yours? My wife and I just got done sipping tea outside in our backyard together while the kids watched a show. We are putting them to bed and then gonna read a part of my thread between HHH and CWMI because I told her they were bickering and she laughed out loud! smile We stayed up till 1am together last night so we are pretty tired, but that was a good 5 hours which is a big time number. Thanks for changing the subject and taking this thread back from the hijackers!


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
I'm sure she believes it. I cannot deny being hard-headed.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
Looks like a lot of my posts were moderated. Sorry, hill and grace.

I would simply like to discourage test driving cars that you have zero intention of buying, because of the effect on the salesperson's wallet, family, and time maintenance. Drive five hundred cars if you're buying one, but it is not nice to waste people's time when they are trying to support their families.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 746
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 746
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
My week is fantastic, and yours? My wife and I just got done sipping tea outside in our backyard together while the kids watched a show. We are putting them to bed and then gonna read a part of my thread between HHH and CWMI because I told her they were bickering and she laughed out loud! smile We stayed up till 1am together last night so we are pretty tired, but that was a good 5 hours which is a big time number. Thanks for changing the subject and taking this thread back from the hijackers!

DH is about an hour and a half away, so I'm driving down to spend tonight with him in the hotel. We need the time since we managed about 4 hours of UA time last week (and it was obvious!). We've had two major fights the past two weekends, and that's not like us. Even pre-MB we didn't fight. I've had a lot going on and if things don't get better, I think I need to call the doc for different meds.

Glad things are getting better with y'all, it's good to hear!


Me: 30
Him: 39
Together 5 years
Married the very best man in the world 04/06/2013 after being common law for too long. I'm a lucky woman.
7 Cats - Viscount Ashley of Leftfield, Pawkie Petunia, The Timinator, Leo the Lionheart, Fruit Snack, Cloud, and Barret
And our very lucky pony, Starbucks
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 740
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 740
Originally Posted by CWMI
Looks like a lot of my posts were moderated. Sorry, hill and grace.

I would simply like to discourage test driving cars that you have zero intention of buying, because of the effect on the salesperson's wallet, family, and time maintenance. Drive five hundred cars if you're buying one, but it is not nice to waste people's time when they are trying to support their families.


I can see the subject is a sensitive one for you, so I know where you are coming from, can't say I agree however. Are you in favor of legislation that requires potential car buyers to make a statement as to their intentions prior to taking test drives at car dealers? Should we also do that at the mall when you try on a dress? Perhaps we shouldn't date unless the intention of the date is to get married? Maybe we should ban window shopping all together. All waste people's time, but that is the beauty of the free market! I'm sure your husband hates dealing with joy riders and tire kickers all day, particularly in today's economy so again I get it, but the joy rider got to experience a ride in a car that likely is newer and cooler than what they have now. That planted the seed at the feeling of getting a new car which few would argue isn't exciting. That seed COULD lead to a return visit and a potential purchase of HHH down the road. HHH comes home with new car, picks up wifey, takes her on a hot date, leading to wild passionate SF for a week making massive LB deposits. CWMI's husband comes home with a fat commission six months down the road from a seemingly time wasting exercise, takes his wife out for a nice weekend get away leading to wild passionate SF for a week making massive LB deposits. Why? It all started because of a couple of joy riders on a Sunday Afternoon.
kiss


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 740
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 740
Originally Posted by HopefulNC
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
My week is fantastic, and yours? My wife and I just got done sipping tea outside in our backyard together while the kids watched a show. We are putting them to bed and then gonna read a part of my thread between HHH and CWMI because I told her they were bickering and she laughed out loud! smile We stayed up till 1am together last night so we are pretty tired, but that was a good 5 hours which is a big time number. Thanks for changing the subject and taking this thread back from the hijackers!

DH is about an hour and a half away, so I'm driving down to spend tonight with him in the hotel. We need the time since we managed about 4 hours of UA time last week (and it was obvious!). We've had two major fights the past two weekends, and that's not like us. Even pre-MB we didn't fight. I've had a lot going on and if things don't get better, I think I need to call the doc for different meds.

Glad things are getting better with y'all, it's good to hear!

Wow, great story, UA is at the core of this whole thing isn't it? Not sure about you, but hotel's are kind of an aphrodisiac in my mind, hopefully you guys have some fun! I applaud you for your efforts!


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
Where H is at now, joyriding is non-existent. They simply don't let you joyride in a $280,000 car.

I thought the intention of dating WAS to get married? Dating is a job interview for marriage. If you're not looking for a permanent relationship, then like I said with the test-driving: be up front about that, so if the person you are dating wants to get married someday (or the salesman wants to sell a car), they have the choice to move on to someone else who is interested in marriage (or a car). smile


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 746
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 746
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Wow, great story, UA is at the core of this whole thing isn't it? Not sure about you, but hotel's are kind of an aphrodisiac in my mind, hopefully you guys have some fun! I applaud you for your efforts!

Yes, UA is so important. We spend a lot of time together Friday - Sunday, but last week we just missed the mark on UA time. One of my biggest frustrations with him being on the road is just not getting to spend the time together I'd like to.

Hotels are more home to DH than home is, so our nights in hotels are usually spent talking too late.


Me: 30
Him: 39
Together 5 years
Married the very best man in the world 04/06/2013 after being common law for too long. I'm a lucky woman.
7 Cats - Viscount Ashley of Leftfield, Pawkie Petunia, The Timinator, Leo the Lionheart, Fruit Snack, Cloud, and Barret
And our very lucky pony, Starbucks
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 740
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 740
Originally Posted by HopefulNC
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Wow, great story, UA is at the core of this whole thing isn't it? Not sure about you, but hotel's are kind of an aphrodisiac in my mind, hopefully you guys have some fun! I applaud you for your efforts!

Yes, UA is so important. We spend a lot of time together Friday - Sunday, but last week we just missed the mark on UA time. One of my biggest frustrations with him being on the road is just not getting to spend the time together I'd like to.

Hotels are more home to DH than home is, so our nights in hotels are usually spent talking too late.

Yep my wife and I notice it as well. For me I get irritable if there is no SF. My wife get irritable if FS and Admiration are not there. These EN's are hard to be met if UA time is not consistent enough. What we found in the past is that our social calendar was full of time with friends rather than with each other. Part of this was no doubt a form of protection for both of us as for the time we were with our friends we could at least "pretend" everything was perfectly fine. Now that we are trying to spend that time with each other rather than with friends things have improved quite a bit.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 740
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 740
Date night tonight. Very excited about that. Gross, overcast drizzly weather, not excited about that. New babysitter tonight, very excited about that as well!

Stayed home this morning rather than leaving for work right away so that wifey could go spend an hour working out in the garage. I hope she enjoyed that.

I can honestly say I haven't been writing down a while lot of LBs in my iphone over the past week. We had one moment a couple days ago that was a bit rough, but we recovered quickly and had a great night. Wifey is getting her booty kicked in Scrabble of late which is nice for me! smile



Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD
Page 53 of 88 1 2 51 52 53 54 55 87 88

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 260 guests, and 72 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
ScreamArt, BibleBeliever, JhocelinDeschamp, Elysia007, coursefpx
71,915 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Question for those who have done coaching
by Blackhawk - 12/12/24 11:08 PM
Newbie here. Advice appreciated. MLC??
by Dynamiq - 12/06/24 05:02 PM
Separation
by BrainHurts - 11/27/24 08:59 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,618
Posts2,323,473
Members71,916
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5