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Originally Posted by Pepperband
Originally Posted by indiegirl
"I knew I was falling for you the moment after I said we could only be friends. Then minutes later I was finding myself kissing you in the rain by the paper shop. I've never looked back."

Awesome. Sooooooooo romantic.

Maybe the closing of your letter ....

"I love you, rain or shine."


Wow, cold chills on that one. You and pep together are dangerous. Wish I had a way with words like that.

Indie, just wanted to say you are a very strong person and are doing great.


Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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weightlifter

you are doing great indie!!!


pep you are amazing! and both of you are trouble!


Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan

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Google hard drive imaging and the city in whih you live or the nearest big city....

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Well done indie for having a plan, now you have sone direction I hope this will lessen the stress.

Take care and keep us posted.


BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months

Divorced

Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.

If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.

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So, my plan for the next few days is this

Give OW parents a pic of texts exchanged, tomorrow. I feel they have been lied to a lot and need this. I still haven�t exposed to them, just their other daughter on FB and I don�t know if was passed on, as ive had trouble printing stuff out while off work.

The husband of OW other married friend has added me on FB. His wife has had to tell OW to �back off� in the past as she �wanted him to grieve with her�. He hasn�t communicated with me at all. I want to say � Just curious why you�ve added me in the wake of recent events. If you�d like to ask me anything, be happy to reply.� Could do tonight

On Monday, calling h to see if free for coffee, implement Pep�s advice.

On Thursday, handing him the plan B letter


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Indie,

I can't remember ... have you told him that you expect him to end and all contact in any way shape or form with OW?

OK, I know that sounds silly because of course that is what you expect. But waywards have a way of turning things around in their own heads to give themselves permission. He may be thinking that all he needs to do is end the A and that he can still remain friends with her. Most waywards believe that until it is specifically spelled out for them. Even then, they often twist it around.


Example: after I found DH secret e-mail account and the recent e-mail activity with OW.

me: "you looked me in the eye and told me that you have not been in contact with her."

my DH: "you asked me if I CALLED her. You did not say anything about e-mail."

I think maybe you need to make this crystal clear to your H before pushing the plan B button.



ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008

Recovered

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Yes, when confronting about the text he halfway admitted having feelings but 'didnt know' what he wanted to do about them

I said it was inappropriate and that i insist nc, (and i speelled out that meant no contact at all) said he wasnt going to go without seeing his godkids

I kicked him out the next day. Hes going round now saying 'what can i do'

When I listened in on him getting his stuff, aside from crying, it sounded like someone might hve asked where OW was because he replied to something "On holiday"

I dont know how to ascertain taht


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by Brits_Brat
Indie,

There are businesses out there who can pull everything off the hard drive off a computer....including passwords. If you take your computer to them and tell them you just want the admin password, they may be able to do that fairly quickly. If they can't do "just" that, the will be able to pull everything off. My XH is a Systems Engineer who grew up in the UK (didn't immigrate here until his mid-30's) and learned his trade there (also ran back there for several years, recently, to be with the OW who contributed to the downfall of our marriage). He confirmed that, yes, you should be able to find one of these businesses fairly easily....


This is my number one job of the day tomorrow, knowledge is power!


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by Pepperband
Originally Posted by indiegirl
"I knew I was falling for you the moment after I said we could only be friends. Then minutes later I was finding myself kissing you in the rain by the paper shop. I've never looked back."

Awesome. Sooooooooo romantic.

Maybe the closing of your letter ....

"I love you, rain or shine."


Indeed it will be. Just showed to my mum, she was knocked off her socks.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Just hugs to you.

However, I was right, this IS a predatory ow. See what she had done to another woman's husband (another friend of her deceased H)?

She is seriously pathologic, this ow. So I'd do all I could do to shut this ho down quickly. I'm sorry Indie you're going thru this, but this woman either has serious mental issues, or she's secretly harbored a "thing" for her husbands' friends for some time now. Not sure which it is, or could simply be she feels cheated that her H is dead and is going after guys she knows who might buy into her DUMSEL IN DISTRESS crap she's dishing out.

Stay strong. Keep exposing ow! Good! That is GOOD that you're getting corroborating evidence from who is possibly another bw whose H might have gotten entangled with this black widow.

I vote we call her BW. "Black Widow". I named my xwh's two ow, as it helped me fight them with all my might when I gave them no identity other than evil and the name I called them.


Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
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Big hugs back Peachy. I love how much you hate her, more than I do!

Black widow it is, and shes doin her thing tonight

Had the rare advantage of the use of a strange car tonight. Just did sweep of her street and his car's there ARRRGGGGHHHHH

When is he going to remember he hates her, the silly wayward?

Its stiffened my spine though. War. Her parents are getting the info they need tomorrrow. I may also entice his mum into a wee trick I have up my sleeve. She loves me and he exasperates her. Also impressed her very much by telling her id demanded he forgive his brother. May tell her I am hoping to have a push at reconcilliation at some point. I'd tell her I just need to 'search his car' I wouldnt tell her more than that. She trsts me. The GPS has arrived you see. Why not put a VAR in there too for good measure.

Off to FB the 'good husband'


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Well well well...the black widow is spinning her web huh?

I'd put that sweet lil' VAR in th car! And the GPS too! Why not?

Of course he's over there. YOU NEED TO TAKE PICS of his car being in the driveway of her house. You do. for legal purposes if things go downhill further later on.

My bff did that for me and it was HUGE in court showing pics we got as well as the video evidence from the PI and some retrieved emails b/w them.

Showing HIS car there with a very late at night time/date stamp on it showing his CAR TAG is evidence he is inside her home. Can you borrow that car late tonight and get the pics? Let's collectively STOMP on this black widow wink


Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
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I'd further expose by sending out THAT photo.


Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
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Cool, Ill put my camera on charge and swing by later. 3am ought to do it, dont you think?

Is the legal sitch same in UK tho, still havent been to see anyone for advice...


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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agreed....


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Extra evidence cannot hurt. BUT DO NOT CONFRONT at ow's home. When your wh lies to you, show him the pic and DO NOT SAY how you came about it.


Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
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Where'd my lovely detached warlike feelings go?

He KNOWS I KNOW and HES OVER THERE.

hurt hurt hurt.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by indiegirl
Where'd my lovely detached warlike feelings go?

He KNOWS I KNOW and HES OVER THERE.

hurt hurt hurt.
Your husband isn't over there, indie. A swamp creature is over there.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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ok


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Indie this is a roller coaster I'm sorry it's been a bad day your doing good just think she gets the creep and you got the nice non cheating hubby.

He does not love her he's confusing feeling sorry for her for love. That's not love after all he used to dislike her till her h passed.


BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months

Divorced

Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.

If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.

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