Thanx for explaining my sitch to Peachy, FF.

Today was a rotten Plan B day.

Had a close encounter of the wayward kind while driving to work. Bampot was stopped at a light, and I was behind him. I followed up 2 more lights and then turned. Couldn't figure out a better way to get outta there more quickly.

Then, I come to find out that Bampot took the boys to my niece's(his sis's DD) bday party. While he was there, BIL and his GF and their new baby were there too. This BIL is married to Bampot's sis, but she had an A 6 years ago and has 2 OCDS with OM. They aren't D from either of their respective spouses, but are engaged. Wayturds really do such azz. Anywho, Bampot was holding their baby(DSx2 told me that). Also, BIL talked to Bampot and invited him over to their house. ARGH.

Am I the ONLY one trying to fight or my marriage? Seriously. I feel like I just keep losing and the stinking wayturds in my life get everything back to the "norm" only with ME removed. ARGH. First my orig IMs and then the people who were a real support to me.

I know that BIL and Bampot were best friends. We used to joke, before SIL and BIL split, that if they split, we wold never see SIL again since we were such good friends with BIL. I am pretty sure that BIL believes that he can talk some sense into Bampot, the nice way. He just doesn't get it. Bampot doesn't have to face any consequences that way. ARGH ARGH DOUBLE ARGH.

I know I give all of those in Plan B a kick in the rear and tell them not to focus on their WS. I do that, most of the time. Problem is, sometimes, I get kicked down and it takes me by surprise.

Oh, also, when DSx2 came onto the porch to come home(it's an enclosed porch), I heard Bampot's voice. He was on my porch. And that just reminded me, this morning, I also heard his voice over the phone since we didn't have the TV on when DS10 was talking to him and he was sitting beside me on the couch. DS10 is usually somewhere else when he is talking to Bampot.

See, a whole day of cracks in Plan B and for what? To have me feeling depressed and sad, crying all night. Oh, that's very productive. ARGH ARGH ARGH.

I am going to go off and read Percy Jackson The Lightning thief.

H&G, I read The Last Dragon book. I must say, I wasn't too pleased with the ending. Overall, a pretty good book, but to those who haven't read The Hunger Games, or the Eragon series, those are really worth the read.

Distraction is good for the soul

I saw the movie Scotty and it was good.

Hows the job hunting doing?

Hugs to ya

Wait a minute. You mean that your husband's sister had a party for her child and invited her wayward husband and the other woman (and their baby)? And she is also wayward (with multiple other children) and the other man was there as her date? And your wayward husband was at this party with his other woman? None of them are "with" the person they are married to?

Those people are . . . .interesting.


I'm sorry you had a such a difficult day with your Plan B. Yes, distraction is a good thing. A very good thing.

You can't control anyone else but yourself but that is

HUGE.

Controlling yourself is

HUGE.

You might be the only one fighting for your marriage but that is

HUGE.

Better than no one, not even you doing it.

Hugs.

>>>>Am I the ONLY one trying to fight or my marriage?

Sure looks like it, and what a damned shame. These people are shameless. I'm so sorry for all you've gone through. You might be starting to grieve deeply, imo sometimes the sobbing is necessary to break on through to the other side. At least it was for me. And you will know in your heart you gave it your all and can look in the mirror with dignity. I don't know how people like this face themselves in the morning. The problem is I don't think they do. Peace (((Scotland)))

((((Scotty))))

Hi Scotty,
I know the feeling. It is terrible to run into them and then find out what a filthy life they lead and the people they hang out with.
But I do not think they give a rat's behind about it. We see it the way it is: a bad, terrible way of life/
They see it differently: their life, not bad at all.

Can we really hope that people like our WHs will ever snap out of it?
The way they are now it will take a miracle. WOuld you want to be with your WH a minute knowing he was capable of this kind of behavior even towards your kids?
How can you forgive something like this...
And can you imagine him going back to the nice guy he was?! Because now he has chosen a different path, a path of destruction where he is becoming more and more tangled into the sewage of the A and the people who approve of it.
He will smell bad even if he gets out of the sewage...he has been in it too long.
Oh (((((Scotty))))
blessing

I had a long night with a lot of things running through my mind. I came to some realizations, and honestly, I haven't even given up on Bampot, yet.

FWIW, Bampot didn't bring his OW to the party, she hasn't even met any of his family yet. Doesn't mean much to me. It's just odd. I couldn't even begin to try to figure out why, so I just don't worry about it.

My BIL and his GF are a great support to me and my children. I just hope he continues to support us. I don't fault him for moving on and making a new life with someone else. His marriage was truly over the last time my SIL left him. She took their DD with her and filed a complaint with the police that he had been sexually abusing their 3 year old. She then kept her away from him for 8 weeks until he got a judge to order her to let him see his DD. The charges were found to be wrong and actually my DN told the police, when asked why she said that Daddy had touched her, "Mommy told me to tell you that."

I DO know what lengths a wayward will go to. I have seen it all play out in the family around me. It is sickening. I have never accepted my SIL's OM. And, some of you may remember the FB exchange SIL and I had a year ago.

My BIL and SIL have a version of a fantasy divorce even stranger than any I could imagine. They aren't even divorced though, so I don't know what you would call it. It's just weird.

Enough about my stranger than fiction tales, I wanted to let you all know that I am feeling better. Thank you all

(((Scotty)))

I really don't know what to say except you are an amazing woman and no matter the outcome you are a survivor.

Scotland, you are awesome!! I just joined and was advised to switch to SAA and somehow got in to your story. I am blown away by all I have read and I so look up to you. Thank you so very much!!!!

Thank you IzzyB.

Hey Scotty,
Sorry to hear you didn't get the job you wanted; but there are better doors to open for you.

As far as fighting for your marriage and what you believe in - good for you. Only you can steer the Scotty ship. I often wonder "what if" I had fought longer.

You have been an inspiration to so many here; an amazing mother to your children. I know how hard this path has been for you; but I believe that you will find the best at the end of the journey - whatever that may be.

I still believe that there is someone out there that will appreciate and cherish me and who I am. In spite of everything that has happened and all that you read about on this board; I still believe in marriage. For me though, xh had done to many horrible things and had become a person far from my own value system to be able to fight for. But one thing you and Pep have instilled is holding true to what you believe in.

For me this path has been incredibly hard; but I believe I am coming out a better person. As you are, just keep reminding yourself of that.

Thanx Mymissy, I have been thinking about you lately.

You know, I was noticing something lately.

MANY people are asking me if I am dating yet. I keep telling them, "I am still married." It's just easier than saying that I am not actually ready to date. Then, I have to explain that I don't believe in dating while I am still married. I know other people have, and I am not condemning any of them. It's just not a choice that I am going to make for myself.

Now, it seems that people pity me. Really? Why? They feel like it is time, and I should move on. I just tell them that I am not ready yet.

Lol yeah, really?...Who cares what they feel if its time or not? Its your bussiness anyways and who needs anybody telling them they are lacking or in need of anything?

Just more stuff that we all need to let roll off our backs..much like the friend who wants to get into your marriage because they, "care", about you. "You seem sad trouble at home?" "Isn't Whathis/her name cute gee I wish my husband/wife would..."


Yeah Scotty it never ends, guys I know are telling me about having a GF and life is short, lol, well I tell them I have plenty of girl freinds that I don't need a Mommy who promises never to leave me or a frind with benifets either.

You will be ready when you are..

Scotty, I don't travel all the same threads you do but I saw a couple of posts of yours today that were awesome.

I think you are a great person, and when you do decide to start dating some guy is going to hit the jackpot when he meets you. I hope hes smart enough to realize that.

Take care

Hey all. Not really much to update. I have been active on other threads, and reading a bunch of new books. I have found some favourite authors. It's been really nice to get lost in stories.

Last weekend, DS10(who will be 11 tomorrow) came home from "visiting" the puke shack and said, "I think daddy and EPB(evil princess beep-it's what they nicknamed her hehehehe) take showers together." I said, "What do you mean, while you are there?" He said, "Yea, daddy said he was going to take a shower and she went upstairs too." I held back my rage and said, "Well, you should talk to daddy about that. Did you think that was right?" He said, "No." Then we left it at that. Again, another time that Bampot should count his blessings that I am in Plan B, the AOs that were beneath the surface were unreal. I would have blown a gasket.

Then, yesterday, there is a call the the house phone for Bampot. I don't answer numbers that I don't recognize. It was a phone company wanting to leave a message for Bampot about the cell phone number he has. Apparently, he must still be using MY number as his own. TURD.

Also, last weekend, sent a message through IM about bringing DS10 home early tomorrow, as it is his Bday and we always have a family dinner with my parents, sis, bro and nieces. DS10 actually didn't even want to go to visit Bampot tomorrow, but I said, "It's father's day." He asked if he could come home earlier. I told him that I would see. Bampot's response was that he would let DS10 decide when to come home. Well, DS10 already decided, noon. HEHEHEHE I told him that he didn't need to come home that early, that 3 would be fine, so he decided 3 it is. What a funny kid.

My sister, who is D from her XWH, was talking to me today and then she said, "We need to go get some father's day giftS." I said, "For who?" She said, "XWH, XFIL, and dad." I said, "You buy HIM presents for father's day? You're divorced." She said, "I always do." I answered, "I don't and I am not divorced. Does he buy you mother's day presents?" She said, "No." Has everyone not on MB lost their freakin minds? OMG.

Still no lick on the job front. I have decided that I want to find a job that I would do even if I didn't get paid. Now, if I could only figure out what that is. Reading books does get you paid, but only if you are a proofreader or editor and I don;t think they need too many of them in Niagara. Hmmmmmm, thinking thinking.

HopeandGrace, if you are out there, know that I have read The last Dragon book. It was good, but I didn;t really like the ending. Wish there was more story.

Read "Red Riding Hood." Waste of my life for sure. I had heard the movie wasn't very good and now that I have read the book, I don't want to see it. I actually threw the book across the room.

In case anyone wants some good paranormal romance, I have been reading the Darkyn series by Lynn Viehl(her pen name). There are 7 books, 3 spin off, and then 5 novellas. I have been able to read about 1 book a day. They are definitely ADULT books though.

I guess this update turned more into a book review. Oh well, it's part of my life without Bampot now, and it is making me happy. I may even be joining a book club for paranormal romance novels. Should be fun. Take care MB community. And to those about to embark on Plan B, know that it WILL get better. I promise.

I don't know about funny, but that was very sweet. You can tell who he admires and trusts Mom.

You sound great Scotty. I don't worry about you but still is good to have an update. Good luck on the Job hunting, and I know what you mean about escaping into books, it used to be what I did ALL the time growing up lol. I still escape into them sometimes now, but not as much as I used to. I think I will start again it was a good habit. My favorite Author when I stopped reading was Michener, and I only read The covenent and Space so far lol, but I love his style. Of course read all the Twain books and Arthur Conan Doyle but still there is/was so much out there to read I need to dive into. The last novel I read was Kite Runner and that was months ago.

Your awesome

You're my girl.

I still look for your updates even though I KNOW you are doing so well. I am so sorry for your boys but thankful they have such an awesome mom to be their rock and moral guide.