Okay, it's been a couple of days, how are you doing? All I hear right now, are CRICKETS.

Plan B? You ready? When can you get into it?

Yeah - you don't Plan B us, indie, you Plan B the WS!

Hehe Ive just been out having fun thats all. My friends are legends.

Been reading the art of war this morning. When your enemy tries to provoke you into attack he is eager for you to advance.
Think Scotland is onto something with the 'stew and spew' advice. Think he's going crazy.

Sorting mortgage stuff out with my sis this morning. Statements have arrived and I dont want to open them alone. When ducks are ina row bill wise and when his stuff is gone, locks are changed etc, plan b is still the plan for me.

Indie -- just like I told you. Be nice -- it will drive him crazy.
He won't know what to make of it.
And when you go to plan b, all he will have are pleasant memories of you to dwell on.
Keep up the "pressure"....keep being flirty and sweet.
Try to spend some rime with him. You are his wife afterall!

If he saw me right now he'd flee. He is terrified of the nicey nice stuff. Thats ok though. He doesnt understand it. The plan b letter will make him think he does. Then she will go nutso at receiving her copy and i will be unreachable to either of them while in deep plan b.

Spending time with him? I think only possible if I trick him into discussing bills. Theres a snag there as I dont know whether to reveal my knowldege of the state the mortgage is in. The meeting would NOT BE HERE at the house of course. Im ambivalent on the point of seeing him. Opinions?

Am also considering sowing the seed of doubt that he is only interested in her for her money. After life insurance she is very comfortable and i am sure it is appealing to him. Should she get wind of the financial problems?

I think her faith in his financial honesty is strong though and that it wouldnt do me any favours.

The simplest plan to me is play dumb re the mortgage, play on her jealousies of me, act nice to him and let all unfold.

Oh Indie

you are such an amazing woman, hang on in there, thoughts are with you

(((Hugs))))) Indie

Its allmost scary how quickly you caught onto the whole human nature thing and MB way of mastering the way of the warrior, "The art of war", too. I think your Kung Foo shall be strong.

Be careful of the power of the force Indie that it doen't draw you to the dark side, although he should have been cautious about "A women scorned"

For now though yeah nicy nice will be scary because you will seem unaffected, and able to handle stuff,"even if" you are going through hell..Thats strength nobody can deny. Save the tears for privacy now he doesn't get the satisfaction.

It seems his ego has cut his own throat, you will be fine, and he might just go out squirming. Sorry for your loss but you don't deserve this treatment. God Bless

Thanks CP! Awesome stuff there for Indie.

Indie, stay strong. Get ready for Plan B!

But do learn art of war. I think I read about this 1,000 times before I divorced Darth. But I am still hoping we can get your whs' head out of his butt.

I agree. WH's ego will cut his own throat. It does to ALL WAYWARDS in the end. Especially if he continues down this destructive path and does not return home. He will face utter ruin sooner or later if he does that. I hope for one, he does not!

"No ruler should put troops into the field merely to gratify his own spleen. No general should fight a battle out of pique".

The same thoughts re the dark side occurred to me. Revenge is tempting but there are other more direct avenues for that. I just want truth, and to extinguish all doubts that may come up in the future. If I dont get them, so what? I took a shot.

There are no tears incidentally. Never been as cool as I have been today and yesterday. Is it permanent? Dont know but when I think of him I feel he is pitiable. I can even think of them together with ease. I try to torment my imagination but I cant, it's no big deal.

Basically I want to give him the gift of honesty. To know that I put both him and myself in the best of circumstances before making the decision to file for divorce. Revenge would be to let them have each other and make those poor kids lives even worse than they have been so far.

On the verge of going into a proper plan B today. I have been sorting out some last minute bill stuff today. There are some things/info I need from him to do the rest of the bills. Scotty has told me not to tip him off that im planning to cut him out by asking him this stuff in advance.

His stuff is packed up. Hoping to drop off at his mums shortly but I need someone to give me a hand with this - sorting out who will help tonight.

The plan B letter will be with his things (including an introduction to the IM). I will post OWs copy to her same day? So she will get it in due course, after he does.

Then I get my IM to email him asking him to sort final details regarding bills.

Feeling good today.

Respect lady, respect!!

Followed your story all the way, you have been amazing and continue to be so.

Nice to have another brit along!

Make sure you plan a proper treat for yourself as you go into Plan B, whatever is a treat for you, make it so, a massage, a shopping trip, a walk in the country, do something that rewards you.

Hugs

Get as much info as you can beforehand but don't let on that he will be getting cut off. Don't make it sound final. Also, you could write an addendum, with the Plan B letter, asking for him to send the info to your IM. Something like, "I also need some information concerning finances. Forward all answers directly to IM, thank you."

Breathe, relax. You'll be okay

Lol
My first extremely was " sortingitout" and I always thought of that British use of sorting something out and how common it was across the pond you know

My last name is British and so I always related myself that way anyways

But I have Irish dutch and German plus some American Indian also. So I just I'm a mutt but we make the best pets

Ok well you have Scotty as a close advisor and you already seem to have a solid handle on reality so I think your gonna be just fine

Hang in there. It will get easier in time
Sorry you have to though this indie

My dad has said that my going through this has earned me "another degree"! He has also come up with WH's nickname from here on in. He wont use his name any more and refers to him as 'Softlad'. This is a very regional term around here for a confused and immature person. To think my dad's reaction was the one I was most worried about pre exposure.

He was also very concerned about plan B in the beginning, but now he is totally on board. He's had time to get to grips with the concept and he loves psychological warfare. We are very similar.

Tanam, I have lots of treats lined up - not enough hours in the day in fact. Also been very busy planning my future past couple of days.

And yes, more brits should be on here!!! If only the UK attitude of 'minding your own business' and 'adultery just happens' could be shaken up a bit more..

Scots I'm sending you an email now with some specifics, hon.

Hey Indiegirl,

You're one smart cookie. Keep up the good work. "Softlad" is pretty funny. "Hedgehog" is good too. Up to you.

BTW: Since you have no kids, I'm in the Plan FU camp.

TE

Go Indie-girl!

I've been following from the beginning, too, and admire your spirit. Best of luck to you, and I'm looking forward to your updates!

Softlad........well that tells me why you are so tough, they don't breed softgirls there!!

Yes more brits would be good, although loads of folk knew about my WH behaviour, none of them, and I mean none of them ever mentioned it to him. There really is a sense of not wanting to get involved here, shame really!

Glad you are looking out for you, make you the best you can be and make sure he knows what he has lost. (not from you, you are in Plan B!!!)

Keep posting, keep smiling, be strong.

Hang tough I girl.