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ME: If you move to NY with the kids, I'll have to fly up there each month. Rent a car. Rent a hotel for the weekend. And that's on top of child support. How am I going to pay for all this?

WW: JUST PUT IT ON YOUR CREDIT CARD!!!


BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011

Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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As I realised my "recovery" failed and OM was coming to town to see my wife she told me:
WW: I need to find out if he's the one. If we have a future.

The day after they met, he dumped her and told her she ruined his life and marriage.

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rotflmao
That was the fastest future I heard of!!!


atena
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Another crazy one from my WH was:
"I never really loved you, our M was arranged" (of course it was not, I came from Italy and he from the States, our parents didn't even speak the same language nor knew eachother...)

Another one:
"OW has nothing to do with us splitting, the M has been a carcass for way too long. I shouldn't have put up with it for as long as I had. A helped me not kill myself. OW helped me, she is a nice person. I care a lot about her."
"She did not want to see a married man, but I convinced her"

twoxfour


atena
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WH: I am going out all the time because I can't be around you, because you are not happy

Me: But all I want is to see you?

WH: You live in la la land if you think our marriage is at all ok.

(Note - At this point didnt know he was having affair!)


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Another one-

ME: Do you have feelings for her?

WH: I would only call it feelings if you want to do something about it..

ME: Do you want to do something about it?

WH I don't know.

(Well with a love like that it was totally worth spending a fortune on her and wrecking our marriage over having to see her all the time)


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Quote:
WH: I am going out all the time because I can't be around you, because you are not happy

I got this one too!!!
He also added: There are women who are always happy. I want a woman to be happy with.

He couldn't have been more unhappy in those days. Now a happy person is always happy no matter whom they are with, right?

dramaqueen


atena
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Originally Posted By: atena
Quote:
WH: I am going out all the time because I can't be around you, because you are not happy

I got this one too!!!
He also added: There are women who are always happy. I want a woman to be happy with.

He couldn't have been more unhappy in those days. Now a happy person is always happy no matter whom they are with, right?

dramaqueen


Amazing. I really thought that one was just mine. He was utterly miserable - its no wonder I put it down to depression rather than an A.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted By: atena
Another crazy one from my WH was:
"I never really loved you, our M was arranged" (of course it was not, I came from Italy and he from the States, our parents didn't even speak the same language nor knew eachother...)

Another one:
"OW has nothing to do with us splitting, the M has been a carcass for way too long. I shouldn't have put up with it for as long as I had. A helped me not kill myself. OW helped me, she is a nice person. I care a lot about her."
"She did not want to see a married man, but I convinced her"

twoxfour



OMG, atena....I got the same thing "She didnt want to have sex with a married man but i begged and begged and she finally did.."

So stupid....like that makes OW sound better...yeah...okay...


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
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Quote:
He was utterly miserable - its no wonder I put it down to depression rather than an A.

Me too! During his 2nd A, the one that broke the M, I thought he was seriously depressed (did not know of the A till one and half years after they had it going).
I used to call my mom and tell her how worried about WH I was and how depressed and unhappy he was....
I gave Wh countless phone #s of English speaking counselors to see for his depression and he pretended to be interested.
Now a happy person, a person in love would not be that depressed and unhappy right? He would not be selectively happy meaning: happy only when with OW and unhappy when with the rest of the world!!!
Well, I just hope she solved his problem and makes him happy every minute of the day now.
skeptical

Last edited by atena; 06/29/11 05:37 PM.

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Quote:
So stupid....like that makes OW sound better...yeah...okay...

Oh, they think OW is a saint for saying they will not do married men.
This last one, the neighbor, told him that she would not accept him being with his wife and having sex with her (well he was with me and sleeping in the same bed for a year and half while also banging her).
SO he refrained because he could not cheat on her.... clap
Glad she took such a looser out of my life; Thank you OW, enjoy the trophy puke


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Ugh...so annoying...they just cant bring themselves to "CHEAT" on OW with their WIFE!!!! And suddenly OW would not accept him being with his own wife...so he doesnt...I will NEVER EVER get it...NEVER!


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
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Oh get this, My WH took to answering the phone the last month before d-day like this:

"What now?"

Um, I was going to say hello?


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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It seems crazy that a spouse could turn into just a mess.
This thread and other 2 that have been bumped recently show us what the fog does.
Do the WSs ever de-fog? I know some do, but for the ones who do not, how can they continue having a regular life with that state of mind!!!
I wonder how self centered and entitled you have to keep being not to feel the devastation you caused!!!
My WH has a totally different life now, into sports, looking thing and tanned and not a worry in his head. He is apperently going to spend the summer at the beach morning to evening and seeing OW when he feels like it.
So, not a bad life for someone so foggy.
I guess they get into a mental stage of total detachement from other people's life that nothing effects them.
So, I am glad I am back in my power:

YOU have the power
to have a good day,
all day, every day,
unless
YOU give it to someone else.

And I also always remind myself of:

"Whatever action you are taking now you might not see results right away, until then do not resist what is"

Blessing


atena
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Got one...

ME: Why are you texting my H saying that you are in love with him!

OW: (high pitched) I didn't. But anyway, I do love him - as a friend.

ME: Are you saying I can't read?!

OW: (low and nasty) Dont patronise me Indie!!


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted By: atena
..

Do the WSs ever de-fog? I know some do, but for the ones who do not, how can they continue having a regular life with that state of mind!!!
I wonder how self centered and entitled you have to keep being not to feel the devastation you caused!!!
My WH has a totally different life now, into sports, looking thing and tanned and not a worry in his head. He is apperently going to spend the summer at the beach morning to evening and seeing OW when he feels like it.
So, not a bad life for someone so foggy.
I guess they get into a mental stage of total detachement from other people's life that nothing effects them.


Yes I suppose that is true, they detatch and feel they are free, until they are called on again to think of someone other than themselves, without getting an obviuos benifet right up front. You know, the ones when they have to give and not be appreciated right away, or God forbid, maybe never by the recieving party?

Yeah sometimes we have to trust God, or ourselves, that we did someting because it was right, even if we don't get appreciated.

Since this a dumb thing Waywards say thread. I thought I would include one from my foggy meesed up wife. She was now really in bad shape at the time, fallen heavily into addiction, and was living off/with her new best buddy Alchy/coke head. She called me on the phone looking for money, and had apparently had a fight with him, because she was complaining. I said to her.

ME- Im sorry but untill you come back and get into treatment and away from him and the drugs, I can't help you.
Her- All you have to do is get a house and a place for me to stay. Thats all you ever had to do.

I had a place she could come to, and untill she took off I had allways provided a place for us and the family. It was just more fogbabble attempting to make me guilty for letting her down so she could get money out of me. Heck she was using me more and more during the years so I guess she thought why not? Try again.

Then there was this time when she had him drop her off where I was working, and she was telling me about the argument they had, she said to him, "My husband has more integrity in his little finger than you have in your whole body!" I guess that was supposed to make me feel better. lol

Ok one more story. One day when I was driving her somewhere I got fed up with it, and because I was driving her by our church I decided to pull in and take her to her Pastor, (I will remind you that she would not go to AA claiming all she ever needed was her Pastor and God to stay clean when we recovered, yeah I should have stayed gone unless she went I know)

She was refusing to go in, and caught me with a backhand, that gave me a bloody nose outside the church, lol. Well I rang the bell anyways, and a friend of hers for years came out and talked with us. Someone she respected as taking no guff as a pastors wife, (Her family was military).

ME- "Hi XXX she is going to buy heroin and she needs to see Pastor, she needs help"
WW- "I am going to get a divorce and marry someone else"
Woman- "Well CP, what can you do if she is not ready? You can't force her right?"

That was it, A couple of days later I caught up with the pastors wife and she said to me,"Well we know what shes about now dont we?"

I have thanked her for being so frank a couple times in years past, it seems WW was one of pastors favorites and they had run out of grace with her. I just wish someone would have had the guts to warn me about how she was using grace as a lisence to Sin. I was living with the misunderstanding I did not know grace enough, or God enough for that matter. It seems she had this deal going on, she would be the wayward soul who screwed up and yet came back like the prodigal and testify and quote scripture. God save us from our would be saviors, it was a good act though, got me for a while, but it doesn't work in the long run. You can't destroy your meal ticket and have a healthy husband with self-respect, and all the BS will not stop God and reality from setting it straight.
Originally Posted By: atena
..

YOU have the power
to have a good day,
all day, every day,
unless
YOU give it to someone else.

Blessing


Thanks for this one Atena

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Originally Posted By: atena
It seems crazy that a spouse could turn into just a mess.
This thread and other 2 that have been bumped recently show us what the fog does.
Do the WSs ever de-fog?


I hope so.

I ALSO got the line about how the other woman didn't want to have sex with him but he pressured her... moral fiber, that woman.

Yeah right. She just played her cards for keepsies.

Last edited by mehr; 07/02/11 11:12 PM.

Married 1/2000.
D-Day 3/7/11. WH moved in with OW and they married in 2013.
Single mom of 4.

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Just this past week at a 4-way meeting between WSTBXH, attorneys and me when discussing custody:

Me: It was your choice to move 45 minutes away.
Him: You threw me out.
Me: Because you were having an affair in front of my face and would not stop.

Later, in response to me saying that one reason WSTBXH should not get 50/50 custody is because his schedule makes him work until at least 5 PM and I can be available all afternoons.

Me: Since we had DD five years ago, you could never come home before 5 PM because you had to work. (WSTBXH is now claiming he can get out of work at 3:30).
Him: I didn't come home because of this (pointing to me in disgust).

Note: 7 months prior at marriage counseling, WSTBXH repeatedly called me the model wife.

Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. They will say just about anything to get what they want for their crazy little world.


BW:37 WH:42 M: 7yrs DD4
DD #1
Plan A: 10/10
DD# 2 - 1/14/11
Modified Plan A: 1/19/11 H moved out - wanted to reconcile
DD#3 - 2/5/11
Plan B: 2/8/11
Divorcing
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WH husband once told me that the best way for us all to get over this situation was to have a threesome with OW.

Why, yes! Of Course. Watching you **edit** her on video wasn't traumatic enough, now I can watch it in person.

Genious

Last edited by MBLovebanker; 07/03/11 10:34 PM. Reason: TOS: vulgar

Me: BW 30
WH: 37
DD 9/2007
DS 2/2010
#3 Due Nov. 5
Met 8/02
Married 6/06
D-Day 10/31/2010
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Originally Posted By: roroma
WH husband once told me that the best way for us all to get over this situation was to have a threesome with OW.

Why, yes! Of Course. Watching you **edit** her on video wasn't traumatic enough, now I can watch it in person.

Genious


WOW.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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