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HoldHerHand #2524953 07/01/11 04:59 PM
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Wedding cake topper ...

[Linked Image from images.freedating.co.uk]

Pepperband #2524976 07/01/11 08:10 PM
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Sometimes, it doesn't take very long......


NeverGuessed #2525198 07/03/11 06:08 PM
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These acronyms are from a FB page called:

You came to the ER for What ????
It is an open to the public group, so none of this is private.
Any medical MBers will rotflmao


Quote
Pamela Lee-Sanders
Please post any acronyms from your ED .... ie; FDGB
June 6 at 6:01pm � Like � � Subscribe
2 people like this.

Sean Harris FDAU and HVLT face down [censored] up and high velocity lead therapy
June 6 at 9:18pm � Like � 1 person

Pamela Lee-Sanders Luv it....TSTL (to stupid to live) TMTC (ie: chief complaints-too many to count), CTD (circling the drain)
June 7 at 6:12am � Like � 1 person

Sean Harris TMB too many birthdays
June 7 at 3:49pm � Like

Ty Chan PITA: Pain In The A$$
June 7 at 6:48pm � Like � 3 people

Robert Weisberg DTWS- deader than whale sh**, DRT dear right there.
June 7 at 7:47pm � Like

Tanya Racko Berger FTD- fixing to die, DFO- "done fell out" passed out, ID-10-T- idiot.
June 8 at 5:12am � Like � 2 people

Paul Peirce ART: Assuming Room Temperature
June 8 at 6:22pm � Like � 3 people

Lindsey Robinson HAM= Hot [censored] Mess
June 8 at 6:30pm � Like � 2 people

Jeannie Waddell JPFROG - Just plain freakin run out of gas!
June 8 at 8:25pm � Like

Pamela Novak Yamek sp-stupid parent
June 9 at 7:55pm � Like � 1 person

Elizabeth Pa FDGB - fall down go boom. OOB - overdosed on birthdays. Smurfed (an ominous shade of blue)
June 9 at 10:50pm � Like � 2 people

Vickie Walker MFIC : mother f***er in charge
June 9 at 11:20pm � Like � 2 people

Richard Brown FUBAR BUNDY : F*cked up beyond all recognition but unfortunately not dead yet.
June 10 at 4:31am � Like � 5 people

Richard Brown BOHICA: Bend over here it comes again.
June 10 at 4:32am � Like � 3 people

Richard Brown TSTL TDTD: Too stupid to live too dumb to die.
June 10 at 4:32am � Like � 4 people

Richard Brown AMFYOYO: Adios mother f*cker. You're on your own.
June 10 at 4:34am � Like

Joyce Perry GOMER= get outta my ER: DFO= done fell out/off. TMB= too many birthdays. GID= granny in distress. DSP=dumb [censored] profile.
June 11 at 8:54am � Like � 5 people

Elaine Susanne Price DFOTS = drunk, fell outa tree stand
June 12 at 8:36am � Like � 3 people

Michael Butler LOL in NAD = Little old lady in no apparent distress
June 12 at 8:58pm � Like � 4 people

Sean Harris Gorked
June 12 at 11:41pm � Like

Hap Schneider BOHICA-WOKY Bend Over Here It Comes Again - With Out KY
June 13 at 1:43pm � Like � 2 people

Vickie Walker TLT: therapeutic light treatment.(in the waiting room)
June 17 at 3:45am � Like � 1 person

Etthan Miller DND= Damn Near Dead DRT= Dead Right There
June 19 at 6:12am � Like � 2 people

Alicia Maria Del Valle-Totdahl FUNGUS - [censored] you new guy you suck!
June 25 at 6:57am � Like � 4 people

Lyn Wilson PTF-TTF: Pillow to face, titrate to flopping.
Thursday at 1:29am � Like � 1 person

Hap Schneider CCFCP - Coo Coo For Coco Puffs
Thursday at 6:14am � Like � 1 person

Spencer Murphy HMS- histerical mexican sydrome, BMW- big mexican woman!
Thursday at 11:34am � Like � 1 person

Dan Bond DQ - Drama Queen
Thursday at 3:42pm � Like � 1 person

Cindy Gallegos Cooper OTD (out the door)
Thursday at 8:33pm � Like

Kelevra Siberians FDGB WITH A GBO Fall down go boom with a great big owie....
Friday at 5:17pm � Like � 1 person

If this offends, you've probably never worked in an ER.

Pepperband #2525571 07/05/11 05:00 PM
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>.<

I can never recall these... though DFO comes up a lot.


Ah... elder care.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
HoldHerHand #2525574 07/05/11 05:10 PM
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HHH
Most of these are new to me.
But, it's been a long while since I worked ER.

I remember:

FLK
funny looking kid
..... but this was mostly in the NICU before the genetics Doc arrived to s'plain.


Pepperband #2525685 07/06/11 12:42 AM
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FFFF - Female, fat, forty, flatulent

HIVI - Husband is village idiot

Ah... how about; CRI - cranial-rectal insertion

DPS - dumb parent syndrome


There were some others I read once that were a little more complex, but in the same vein.

Along the lines of; they ain't sick, they're st00pid.

Usually reserved for FF's.



"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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[Linked Image from explosm.net]


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Begging you for MERCY !

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[Linked Image from savagechickens.com]

Pepperband #2535186 08/13/11 04:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Pepperband
This one's for YOU Mel.


"We told you we did not want your kind around here."

[Linked Image from damnlol.com]


I like the concept of this one. Simply funny.

Rehana #2535457 08/14/11 01:02 PM
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Reconnect with John Stamos' Guide To Cuddling.

(careful, one f-bomb)


Thank you, Uncle Jessie!


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
HoldHerHand #2540469 09/02/11 03:41 AM
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She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything - cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home... and to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
HoldHerHand #2542991 09/11/11 03:30 AM
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That just made me laugh laugh


Me: 32
H: 35
Married 9 years, together 12.
Two little girls, 7 and 3.
Rosycheeks #2562512 11/10/11 07:49 AM
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Nuts!

Now for the awful puns:

This would "wheely" tick most WHs off!

"But honey-bunny, it was all just "torque"!"

He will soon "tire" of his POSOW!

NeverGuessed #2571548 12/05/11 11:02 AM
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A man is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. He is not happy with what he sees and says to his wife, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The wife replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.

Pepperband #2571583 12/05/11 12:38 PM
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A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the
mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?"
She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts
of a 25 year old."
The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old [censored]?"
She replies, "Frankly dear, your name never came up."


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
HoldHerHand #2575434 12/15/11 02:08 PM
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I would like to share an experience with you; it has to do with drinking and driving. As you know some of us have had brushes with the authorities over the years. The other night I was at a Christmas dinner with a few friends. After consuming too much wine, and knowing full well that I was wasted, I did something I've never done before. Believe it or not, I took a bus home. Yes, a bus. I arrived home safely and without incident. This was really a surprise to me since I have never driven a bus before.



Have Happy Holidays, but be careful!

Pepperband #2575471 12/15/11 03:55 PM
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Lol!

Bait and switch!


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Pepperband #2575473 12/15/11 03:57 PM
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LOL!
[Linked Image from pic4ever.com]


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

maritalbliss #2575485 12/15/11 05:15 PM
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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
LOL!
[Linked Image from pic4ever.com]

I have had so many requests about my famous Tequila Christmas Cake that I felt compelled to share the recipe with you. Here goes:

1 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup water
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2 cups dried fruit

Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl; check the tequila
again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Repeat. Turn on the electric
mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of
sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is
still OK. Try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2
eegs and add to the bowl and chuck iin the cup of dried fruit. Pick the
fruit up off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in
the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the tequila to
test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the
tequila. Now shift the lemon ice strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a
spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn
the cake tin 360 s and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the
turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the tequila and
wipe the counter with the cat.

Cherry Mristmas

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