How did he come to just out right admit it? Did he say how long it lasted?

this quote of yours, makes me want to reach thru the laptop and shake some sense into him.



My xtbxh carried his everywhere, in the morning it was in his car, at night it was at his side. He eventually started leaving it upstairs on game nights, and I practiced until I could go up the stairs without making a creak on them, and spent a good hour messing with it one night. Got tons of stuff off it, but took forever to get the password figured out. Back then, he was still to dumb to catch on to what i was doing. So keep your mouth shut lol, I gave away all my secrets in the 'big fight'. I gave up on the marriage in that fight to, so didn't really matter.

Does the laptop have a webcam?

This program you found, sounds like that might be the ticket. Good luck with it.

one last question.

where did the paranoid shrew in the thread title come from?

I started to think that was my name for a few years, as that is what he called me.

Oh, just me trying to convince myself I'm being paranoid. He's never called me a shrew at all - never called me a name ever, actually.

That's why this whole thing is so weird - we had an argument about him not spending time with me, and it turned in to "I'm not in love with you anymore, I don't see us staying together." I was a bit blindsided, to be honest.

My husband and his affair partner were just friends.


She was also my friend.


Your husband's affair partner may not even have anything to do with his computer life. You just never know.


SB

Nothing last night. He actually went out shopping for clothes.

I made a character on his other server, and logged in and looked around, then deleted her. This morning he asked why, and I said I didn't really know - I was just curious.

He thanked me for telling him, but seemed really bothered.

Guess we'll see what today brings.

I'm making myself crazy! Now I've convinced myself that I'm reading into things, that I can't admit he just doesn't love me and so I have to convince myself he's having an affair. Other than the "laptop" thing, which I can totally see being because he doesn't want to be around me, I don't have any proof.

I swear, this rollercoaster is the pits.

Seraph, hun, time to come out of denial. How did he know you even made a character on his server? Forget to log in on your old one?

Yes, you are making yourself crazy, calm down! HE IS HAVING AN AFFAIR! Trust us, please. He does not want to be around you because....HE'S HAVING AN AFFAIR! One night of snooping and trying to catch is NOT going to give the answer.

So tell us about his new cloths. Need I say it?? SLap a sign on his forehead there. You will get proof.

How many hours a day does he play warcrack?

We have each other on "Real ID", so you can see when one of us logs in, even on a different server. I thought he had logged off for the night, so I logged on to see if his "friend" had been there - but he logged back in and noticed the character on his server.

His clothes are just a few polo shirts, a couple plain coloured tshirts, and a hawaiian-type shirt. He's lost about 50lbs recently, so he does need new clothes. Not sure why he picked last night to go shopping, but maybe he just wanted to not be around me.

Hours per day - well, he logs in some from work (to "check auctions"), and plays probably 3ish hours per night, more on weekends.

This morning he logged in between the time when he finished working out and the time when he got in the shower, but it doesn't seem like he did anything in that time.

sorry for the delay, had to go look to see how long you were together and compare to how long I've been separated to ensure this was NOT indeed, my husband you were talking about.

I'm sorry hun, knowing my own history, I might not be the one to offer any advice here, I have just seen far too much of this going on in these games. Not just WoW, but all of the ones I've played. IT's rampant. and why I have not logged into any of the games since I rejoined here in march. Got tired of playing only my male characters just to be left alone.

Have you asked him about pulling the plug on being online games period?

He went through a period where he said he was "done playing" so much because it was "wasted" time - this was about 1-2 weeks before the bomb, and lasted about a week after - he was only playing twice a week for "raids" (with the guild the "friend" is in).

But now he's back to logging in before work, during work, after work.

Honestly, at this point, I'd like him to keep playing in the hopes I can find some concrete evidence one way or the other - otherwise I'll go crazy.

when he is playing at night, is he on the desktop or the laptop? If desk, where is the laptop at that time? I'm assuming WoW is on the laptop since he logs in at work? When he is on the laptop at home, does he show up on the network or is he using a wireless connection to some fool who did not lock their internet down?

Sure wish I knew about mac computers I knew XP quite well, gave up on Vista...just thinking here.

Need to go work on paperwork...found a whole new box, looking thru tons of old CC bills

what did he do with all this newfound time of his when he stopped playing? That is where the dirt is on him.

You'll get the evidence, never fear. How's that program for picking up IM's?

Of course your WH is having an A of some sort. However, even if he was really only withdrawn and had no OW, the "carrot" part of Plan A would still be in order.

Examine your own part of the M, since you can only change you. What EN's could you meet better? Even if he won't discuss his EN's with you, you know him well enough to guess pretty accurately.

Meet his EN's as much as he'll let you, and snoop quietly, patiently, tirelessly. Eventually he will make a mistake. They all do.

No more detectable rookie moves like creating an account he could trace to you. That will only alert him, and send him deeper underground. Be cool, don't do anything he can trace to you, and sooner or later he'll make a mistake. They all do.

To repeat another poster, be open to the possibility of a real-life OW, too. Don't rule anything out yet.

Find out anything yet?

I know, I'm impatient. ;d

No, nothing yet. Honestly, it's the not knowing that's killing me. I'm Plan A-ing my butt off, regardless, but I'd like to know what I'm up against.

Confirmed. Now what? Please help.

Bumping for Seraph

Seraph, I'm sorry the suspicions of infidelity were correct; however, you are in the best place you can be to handle it. Can you give us a bit more information re: your confirmation of the affair?

Also, how clued in is your WH that you know something's afoot?

It's slow on the weekends, but you should get some traffic nonetheless.

Can you give us details?

Who is OW
Is she married?
Do they work together?

I am sorry about this. Don't confront yet. Get your exposure list ready. Have you read up on exposure?

I'm not here for much longer today.