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I understand what you mean the fams opion of me has been there from the begining I worshiped the ground my husband walked on for years there opion never changed!! My husband an son went to family fictions I stayed home alone

I am not apologizing for them to look at me differently I am apologizing because I am truly sorry for the mistakes I have made an the pain it has caused

Originally Posted by Surfer88
Listen, and I am in a fiesty mood today...

No, you should not "get used to" his family's judgment of you. What you do by your actions will change their judgment of you. Tomorrow? No. But, in time it will. It's possible that some might never be able to get past your A, but you can't predict that, can you? All you can do is you 100% best, and if some realtionships fall by the wayside? Well, that would be a consequence of your A. Why try to predict?

Just do everything you can right now. As Indie said...get those fighten' gloves on.
Originally Posted by Surfer88
Listen, and I am in a fiesty mood today...

No, you should not "get used to" his family's judgment of you. What you do by your actions will change their judgment of you. Tomorrow? No. But, in time it will. It's possible that some might never be able to get past your A, but you can't predict that, can you? All you can do is you 100% best, and if some realtionships fall by the wayside? Well, that would be a consequence of your A. Why try to predict?

Just do everything you can right now. As Indie said...get those fighten' gloves on.
Originally Posted by Surfer88
Listen, and I am in a fiesty mood today...

No, you should not "get used to" his family's judgment of you. What you do by your actions will change their judgment of you. Tomorrow? No. But, in time it will. It's possible that some might never be able to get past your A, but you can't predict that, can you? All you can do is you 100% best, and if some realtionships fall by the wayside? Well, that would be a consequence of your A. Why try to predict?

Just do everything you can right now. As Indie said...get those fighten' gloves on.
Originally Posted by Surfer88
Listen, and I am in a fiesty mood today...

No, you should not "get used to" his family's judgment of you. What you do by your actions will change their judgment of you. Tomorrow? No. But, in time it will. It's possible that some might never be able to get past your A, but you can't predict that, can you? All you can do is you 100% best, and if some realtionships fall by the wayside? Well, that would be a consequence of your A. Why try to predict?

Just do everything you can right now. As Indie said...get those fighten' gloves on.

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"I look online thro everything that has listings the stress of it all my husband doesn't need or deserve i don't feel lik leaving the house to even go to the store or work takes every ounce of energey I have"

Yep, every ounce of energy. You got it. And, you can do this.

"idk how I am suppose to find new place rent thus place sell everything rent a truck load truck treak it an my car two kids 950 mls but I am going to some how"

You can and you will. If you were lost in a forest with no food and water, would you have a choice? No, you wouldn't. Rocky, this is a bad day, right? Have something to eat, get some sleep and remind yourself that this is temporary. It is. I know it's hard...as someone who (seriously) faced homelessness many years ago, I know that things seem hopeless. But, it's never hopeless. Never!!

Get up, gurl!


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Well, time to prove them wrong, isn't it? How? Well, you know how.

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Originally Posted by Rockydugan
idk how I am suppose to find new place rent thus place sell everything rent a truck load truck treak it an my car two kids 950 mls but I am going to some how
hurray

I can hear the Rocky theme tune!!!!


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by Rockydugan
idk how I am suppose to find new place rent thus place sell everything rent a truck load truck treak it an my car two kids 950 mls but I am going to some how

Rocky,

Have you asked S2 if he would help you? Maybe he could take the kids while you are packing and closing the house.

All you need right now is to be together. Doesn't have to be luxurious or spacious.

Probably just about everything in that house will trigger S2.
I agree that you should donate to charity. Some charities will come and pick it up themselves.

Good Luck. Keep fighting.



ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008

Recovered

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Originally Posted by Surfer88
..�John, really? How you be such a di-k?�
Well, I was selfish. Hard to believe now.
�John, I can't believe you. You have a perfect marriage!�
Nope, just the opposite. We work on it every day.

Etc. ..

Yup , great post S88, thems the facts.

Rocky you will live it down, and the only one who you have to prove it to is your H.

I think I shared some of my saga on here, but when my WW finally decided she had to fight for me, she moved her pregnant self, her now 13 yr old son from the first marriage, and my 3 yr old daughter back to my hometown area, and got an apt and got on welfare while she was pregnant. I still didn't want anything to do with her, but at least she got away from drinking, and was pursuing her religion, and her church, which as far as I could see, was a step in the right direction.

But if a lost in the bottle miserable drunk can do that, so can you, and you have much more to fight with, and much more support here than she had, and what she did to my understanding, was much worse than you have done to your H. But thats just my opinion, our storys vary.

Get out to him and live by him, and worry about the perfect place later, anyplace you can be together IS the perfect place, for that is home, where your heart is, it doesn't matter if its a cardboard box.

Trust me on that, the seperation is the worst.

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I agree but I am trying to keep my husband in mind he wants the perfect place he likes the finer things in life an gonna be
misarable if it's not atleast nice

I am still trying just been a bad week I think the guilt has mixed with depression
on top of missing my husband the family being together an truly wanting to be there to help him

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Ok, but remember the rocky 2 theme, "Eye of the tiger", and like NG allways says, E.A.O.T.P. Eyes Allways On The Prize. Take a break, get some rest, pray and regroup, just don't get discouraged. If you go to him, he will respond. He would be crazy not to.

Lets see, a broken and sorry woman who will move heaven and earth to make up for a foolish mistake she has done, and restore his family to better than it ever was? Yeah its a suckers bet. He wont stay away for long.

Remember you have a plan, and the PLAN is sound, reguardless of whatever the peanut gallery says. I have yet to see a man turn down a determined woman for very long, not one willing to be what he allways wanted.

Yes you do want that, just from what you said about worshipping the ground he walked on first, you want to be what he wants.

With the MB plan, it is possible, and you can't stop a determined woman with a plan. Take a breather, and get back on it.

God bless Rocky.

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"idk how I am suppose to find new place rent thus place sell everything rent a truck load truck treak it an my car two kids 950 mls but I am going to some how"

OK, my sister hates when I do this when she is in crisis, so I like it. Let's break this down...

1)"idk how I am suppose to find new place rent"

Stop, if you are, looking at general websites. Go to a local tiny paper online and look for personal ads that folks have posted. Don't look at agencies, etc. Go as local as you can.


2) "sell everything rent a truck"
2200.00 door-to-door is a start at upack.com. Just a start, but start making calls. No need to sell anything yet. Don't start with "I don't have 3000.00", OK? If you needed 3000.00 for chemo for skin cancer, you'd find it. Sell everything via a garage sale next weekend. You'll go down to 2K in costs maybe, and have another 300.00 in cash. You're in survival mode to get home, right? Get home.

3) "load truck" by myself (my edit)
Yep, you'll need to load the truck. Whatever you can't do yourself or find help for, you donate.


4) Stop listing everything you can't do. That 950 miles? Well, what if it was only 40 miles? You'd have to do the exact same thing, so rule that out as a source of defeat or a barrier. But for another day of driving, it doesn't really matter how far away you are except for one night's Motel 6 cost and another tank of gas.

Get the gloves on, Rocky!

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Rocky,

Strike wants the finer, nice things? Yep. Strike wants YOU...his wife.

Get to it and give it, lady.

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Replied for CP's truth.

Also, Rocky, are you telling Strike what you are doing? I think if you tell him your plan, and ask for his input, you'd be doing a good thing for both of you.

Tell him, and open the door for his input and help. If he says "nope, you're on your own", accept that for now.

Stay the course!

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I wouldn't even bother with stuff right now. Rent a storage space or just sell what you can and do ate the rest.

Pack the clothes, important stuff like family pictures and a few toys and get on the road! Take it slow. Split the trip into 2 parts and get going.

When I got the opportunity to move to be with my wife (then girlfriend), I quit my job, packed a little Plymouth Horizon to the gills and 12 hrs later I was there.

Keep moving.


Me - 46
Wife - 43
2 x DD
Married 18 yrs - known each other for 22 yrs
Woke up 12/2009 and realized I was an idiot for neglecting my WIFE!
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smile

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Yea I have told my husband my plan be is the one that looked at the town house for me since he is there he is supportive an just tells me in time it will come together

I feel lik he is lookin for the perfect place an idc I just want to be together an we can search for the perfect place later but I am trying to be respectful of what he wants to

I don't want him unhappy with where we are on top if all the other pain he has been through enough cause of me

But at the same time I just want to be there with us all together lik yesterday
wonder if he would be upset if I just show up with two kids on my hip an say sry but small apartment it is but atleast we are together

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Originally Posted by Powerbane
...When I got the opportunity to move to be with my wife (then girlfriend), I quit my job, packed a little Plymouth Horizon to the gills and 12 hrs later I was there...
(t/j) Oh man, my first car was a Plymouth Horizon... What a lemon of all lemons... you're lucky you got to her in only 12 hours, lol...

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Originally Posted by Rockydugan
Yea I have told my husband my plan be is the one that looked at the town house for me since he is there he is supportive an just tells me in time it will come together

I feel lik he is lookin for the perfect place an idc I just want to be together an we can search for the perfect place later but I am trying to be respectful of what he wants to

I don't want him unhappy with where we are on top if all the other pain he has been through enough cause of me

But at the same time I just want to be there with us all together lik yesterday
wonder if he would be upset if I just show up with two kids on my hip an say sry but small apartment it is but atleast we are together
Rocky, keep going.

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What exactly does he say about you moving...as in tomorrow? You say "I want to move to you tomorrow". He says what?

Exactly? Not, "he feels this or that". What are his words?

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In time he understand but there is alot to do

That's what he always says first

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Originally Posted by Rockydugan
In time he understand but there is alot to do

That's what he always says first

Ok Rocky,

You show him that you really mean it. You give him back the kids while you get yourself sorted.

Stay strong.


ME: BW
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DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008

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Yes I have already told him that I would send him the boys atleast before our oldest starts school so he can get them situated

I hope that we can get everything worked out by then so we can all be together but if not atleast he will have the boys they miss him so much an I know he has to be going insaine with out them

When I went with out them I felt dead inside it will be hard for me but maybe a lit less pain for my husband

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