Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 13
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 13
Currently deployed to theater, only on my 1st week of R&R.

My WW had a physical affair the summer of 2009, we followed the book and articles that Dr. Harley has written. We moved to a different state, the whole deal to get away from guy A.

Things have had the ups and downs and I thought we were in recovery but I think we have just been in surviving the affair mode. I had another thread about a year ago talking about this.

Since then I have deployed to AFG last December and I came home this month on R&R and checked the monitoring software. Even though I feel like things have been really good between me and my wife I still don't fully trust her. I am well justified in not trusting her I guess, the software has been running for 6 months and only had the last 99 days of image capture but the keystroke monitor found that she has been having webcam and phone sex with a guy B, she has known guy B before she married me and has always assured me nothing ever happened. I checked out cell phone account and nothing so that just means she has bought another phone, I've been unable to find the phone so far, it's a big house and it could be anywhere really. That is all besides the point I guess.

I guess I'm just a freaking idiot. I'm sitting here trying to figure out what I should and can do! I'm due to leave back in less than a week. I want to say something but at the same time don't want to spend the last week of my R&R sleeping in a hotel away from my kids.

I have to read up on my book again because as things got better I've forgotten a lot of the lessons learned previously. I'm just hurt and confused, she has cried many times when I've been home telling me how she doesn't want me to leave and being away form me is the hardest thing she has ever done...etc I don't think she is faking the funk here but what the hell do I know she is the best liar I have ever met obviously.

BH: 30
F(?)WW: 34
5+ years married
D-day: Fathers day 2009
NC agreement: Aug 2009
Plan A: Aug 2009 - moved out of state and all that as well
NC broken: Oct 2009
1 boy
Status: I thought In recovery but now I don't know
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
Can you click notify to move this to the SAA forum? You will get massive amounts of help.

My suggestion is to align your evidence and expose this wide and far.

Is their a way you can emergency leave and extend your R&R?

Also send an email to Dr. Harley at mbradio@marriagbuilders.com and describe your situation. He will have you call him and he will give you great advice for your deployment.


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 124 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Douglas Beck, Rjack, russelltonya, arielwilson, Debby Woman
71,851 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5