Yep. We've got a poster on this site right now, Chris, whose H gave her the same permission.

She's trying to save her marriage now, after following through with his permission for their open marriage. He is ready to leave her because he gave her permission to have her needs met outside of their marriage, and she took him up on it.

Your wife may well do the same.

Hm, Chris, I wonder where you are...
Status check?

Are you still around Chris?

Thought I'd drop by and give an update.

I ended the relationship with other female, as well as every female relationship I have outside work.

My wife was telling me about the guy she slept with during one of our short break ups, and one of the "positions" they did that she wanted me to own instead of him. Shortly after this she gave me the "I know this is painful for you and I appreciate you listening and not getting mad" speech, which was followed by, "If you ever told me something of this nature I know it would be because you love me and want our relationship to be bigger and better than ever." So, I took her up on it and admitted to her that 7 years ago I cheated on her (before we were married, but still cheating).

This obviously led to a very angry wife, but just as she was tired of living with her burden, I was tired of living with mine. Granted mine was worse, she deserved to know.

Shortly after admitting to my wife that I cheated on her I found out she was STILL having those conversations with the other guys in WoW. Except now they were infinitely worse. The sad part is during the beginning stages of this thread, when I was asking for help, is when her conversations were the worst. This is now the third time I've caught her doing this. (2-3 years ago, back in January, and again in May).

Below are some wonderful examples:

This is her trying to let me know she's been an angel:

And some juicy stuff, edited for clarity and naughty filter:




The next one holds a lot of pain for me, because it is related to the part above about the guy she slept with during our break. The part that hurts is that she cried and poured her feelings and pain into my hands, telling me how much it bothered her, that she didn't want it, how the guy took advantage of her, etc that when it was over she cried and ran home. Well her story was different to her friend:


Below is part of her plans to go meet this guy in Minnesota or for him to come to GA, meet him in Chicago, or even meet a DIFFERENT guy in Florida.













Key note to the below is she's only slept with two people as far as I know (me and the guy above that she admittd to me), but the below seems to say otherwise...












Anyways, you guys have a little idea of what I've dealt with. This is only a small sample of the 100+ pages of stuff I have. Since confronting her about this we have talked things out and she quit WoW, cut all ties/conversations with all her WoW friends and any other friend I have issues with.

Things have been going pretty good the last month or two since things have settled down after all the arguing and crap the confession and this crap caused.

Appreciate any feedback, it's been a rough ride, but finally, FINALLY, I believe we're on the road to recovery and a healthy marriage. (POJA and Honesty has gonee a long way just in the last month or two.)

Welcome back, Chris. Let's back up a minute.


What you wanted to "agree to disagree" on is actually the cornerstone of the MB program ~ following Extraordinary Precautions to prevent an affair and to protect your spouse...regardless of whether you THINK you will have an affair or not....regardless of whether your spouse is having an affair or meeting your needs, etc.

This means NO friendships with members of the opposite sex or allowing members of the opposite sex to meet your ENs, including intimate conversation (discussing problems, etc).

While it's great that you ended your relationship with the OW, I am concerned that you didn't address this topic further given that you spent the last few pages of this thread arguing with many posters. This cannot be skimmed over...

Do you now agree with Dr Harley's position on EPs & opposite sex friendships?

When did you go NC with OW?

Does your WW know the full extent of your relationship with the OW (what you discussed, how often you talked and how you felt about her)?

What EPs have you taken to ensure NC with OW?

I've always agreed, however I was not willing to break off a single relationship when the WW was maintaining tons of them.

Back in May after I confronted the WW for the third time.


Yes. The OW was the woman I cheated on my wife with 7 years ago. She knows the full story. For the record, I did not maintain 7 years of contact with this woman. We started talking in January after exposing my wife back in January and the wife basically told me to f--k off she's going to do what she wants to do no matter how I feel about it.

Not sure what EP is but there is no more contact with her. The same precautions I'm taking are the same precautions my wife is taking. We removed all instant messengers, blocked these people on facebook, email, telephones, etc. We each have 100% access to each other's accounts with the freedom to check at any time we please.

So because she was rolling in the mud, you wanted to as well? This is faulty thinking.

EPs also mean not being alone with women, notifying your W if you come in contact with the OW (by accident as sometimes will happen once in a blue moon) and so on.

Just to clarify, Chris, you did NOT agree.

For example, you said the below and you actually attempted to tell posters that we wanted you to throw away a friendship because we didn't trust anyone:


So lets try again.

Do you believe EPs [Extraordinary Precautions] always need to be followed in marriage? (This means no opposite sex friendships and no allowing members of the opposite sex to meet any of your ENs, including discussing personal problems)

Do you believe you need to follow these EPs even if your W isn't following them?

Pretty much. Horrible mentality but I did it.



I do this. My wife and I told off the OW together, she knows the entire story. I also had an old female friend of mine from Middle School who found me on Facebook, friended her and didn't think much of it. She asked me for advice one day on her relationship so I told the wife, got her opinion, and ended up telling the other women to pound sand.


Yes I believe they need to be followed, even if she isn't.

So who wants an update? =)

Been a long time since I posted here, ended up going home on R&R, long talk with wife, we worked on game plan, and things started getting better. However, during the last half of my deployment she thought I was cheating on her, which caused us numerous issues for a while after returning home in November 2011.

I left Active Duty in early 2012, switched to Reserves in last 2012, now work a civilian job in Florida.

We've had a ton of arguing and non-stop fighting the entire way and ended up just telling her do not come to Florida with me if you're not committing 100% to making this work. She agreed, moved down here, and now holy crap do I regret it.

I noticed her talking to old friends from WoW (including the original OMs), said something about it and she assured me it would stop. Now recently she's been talking to another. I noticed her getting really distant from me. passwords on everything, running off to talk on the phone with this guy, and basically hiding all conversations with him. Confronted her about it (without snooping) and she basically called me jealous and insecure, assured me nothing happened or was happening.

You know the saying, same crap different day? Pics Speak for themselves. I got ahold of these about 2 weeks ago.

Hmm, we've been together 14 years. We said I love you a LONG time ago...

*edit*

So Chris what is your plan?

She's still talking with OM?

Still talking with him. She has made it very clear he is more important than me.

She "says" that the texts were fake and were only done to trick me. But I'm not buying it. Neither of them possess proof of any discussion on "tricking" me, or getting revenge or whatever.

Divorce is imminent.

Well removing the pics kind of defeats the purpose of the post, haha. We're all adults right?

Anyways, point is I have proof of many claims, actions, pic swaps, sexual talk, plans to meet, etc.

Chris, many BS's have set up websites with what you have. You may want to consider that.

I suspect our mods aren't interested in having our members see the, um, seedier side of your wife's...predilections.