i understand where you're coming from rocky...this is what I thought when it was apparent you started having contact with OM again...from what I have read from strike's thread, i interpret it as him wanting nothing more than you guys being a family again...as is often is said there is no excuse for the affair but there are reasons...he needs to fix the reasons...you cannot change the past, only the present and the future..you cannot change how he may have treated you in the past, you cannot change the fact that you have an affair...it's all about the present....this affair may have been what your marriage needed for you to both realize things were wrong and luckily you both found marriage builders...i truly believe 6 months from now if you go back to your husband things will be great...i hope you take the plunge for yourself, your child and your family

I am scared beyond words truly but plan to leave on the 6th I have lots of planning to do but I am sticking to it. Thinking about everything is very hard for me to do so I am

not trying to think about everything all day long being scared of everything is to much to so trying not to think about all those things as well.

I am just going to pack the car and book the hotel and go. It's all I can do at this point!!!!!!!!!!!

Rocky,

This is the same plan you had before. Can you blame Strike for false promises?

Am I wrong, or have you just had new contact with OM? What is you plan for NC with him?

I understand how and why you think what you do of me along with everyone else I know

No, it is not everything you can do. What of the NC letter?

Calm down and stop crying victim here. Get a grip.

"Truly Plan to" or you "ARE"?

NC letter with Strikes's approval and that he sends?

You didn't answer any questions, Rocky.

Stop crying, stop the pity-party and do the work. You can, you know.

not trying to play victom here I have went my whole life where I have no voice when I did use my voice no one gave a crap to listen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so expressing anything I don't plan on playing the vic. or throwin a pitty party!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am leaving for fla on the 6th

I am throwing my phone away

I am quitting the job

I am going to be homeless with nothing

I will give him a nc letter he can mail it or whatever he wants

Well, now is a good time to use that voice, Rocky.

You can't get better ears then right here, can you? I mean, really? Can you find a better place now that people actually do give a crap?

I find this place to be amazing, don't you? People that, oddly, attach to you in a very objective and yet very personal way to try to help you..us.

You get a virtual, heartfelt kick in the teeth when you do something stupid, and the same time get the most love and support when you do what YOU know is the right thing.

You know what the right thing is for you, Rocky. I do, too. Go home, sweetie.

I feel I lost my vocie along time a go and now I am not worth having one so I am not going to worry about not having one anymore.

I am going home even though I don't have one anymore if that makes any sence!!!

Not true, doll. You, like anyone is worthy of a voice. Regardless of the mistakes you've made. You're going to have to own up to them -- really - with no excuses and no explanation.

You go home,and listen versus speak, OK? That "voice" you think you don't have is right there, but quiet. What you need to do now is go home. Be quiet and listen. Just listen for awhile...like a week or two.

But, go home. And, listen.

ANd, you need to send the NC letter. Did I mention that? That is non-negotiable, Rocky.

If you don't do this then you may as well stay where you are.

I am leaving on the 6th for sure

Good. Did you send OM the NC letter with Strike's agreement?

I think you saw that strike2 was getting ready to begin his life without you and it scared you to death. he has already cut communication with you..which I can't blame him.
You are not answering anyone's question because you are scared they will judge you.
You have already been your own judge.
You cut off communicating with strike2..you stopped answering his calls and then get back in contact with the OM.

I really hope you are serious because right now..if you are not..you are about to really be a single mom.

I am serious my husband won't talk to me other than one text saying he was done so hard to talk to him about letter or anything

I think it's to late.........................

Hey Rocky - I wanted to address something you said earlier, about you were scared (if you go home to Strike) you would be treated worse than ever.

Here's the deal. That old marriage, the one you & Strike used to have? It's dead. Gone. Over. Finito. What you and Strike *can* have is a brand new marriage. One that can be better than either of you have ever dreamed.

If - and only if - you do the work. You have to put in 120%. And you have to have a little faith, trust, and maybe even a little pixie dust, 'cause there's no guarantee. But the possibility of having the marriage of your dreams with your husband, the man you chose to marry, the father of your children? Oh yeah. That's priceless. Neither of you knew MB before, no one is instinctually born knowing how marriage works. Now you have a wealth of knowledge at your fingertips, and the two of you can use it to make an incredible M together.

That work starts now. As far as NC with OM, yes, you can send that letter when you get to Strike, but you've still got - what - 6 days before you leave, now? You need to ensure that OM knows in no uncertain terms that you are done. You must not have any contact with OM ever again and that starts immediately. You've already wavered in your conviction to go home once b/c the OM got back to you - do not let that b@stard get to you again!