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I am not going anywhere
We are suppose to do some faimly things when he gets off work today
We went to lunch together our lit baby made us all roll
While out today I am getting note book
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Go Rocky Go! I'm thinking of the theme song to the movie, "Rocky" and tellin' you if you follow MB and the plan perfectly, it will be a TKO of the affair and of wanting to have ANYBODY else, other than your H and kids in your life!
Work this plan with all you've got! You could have the marriage you always wanted and the family surrounding you both, and the lives you dreamed of together. Granted, life's not perfect, but being in a family and marriage filled with LOVE is about as close as you can get.
Now you fight for this Rocky!
Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
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I haven't seen my husband in a long time and I can see the pain in his face
I did that I caused that............ Yup, you sure did! So what is your plan from here?
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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My plan??????????????
Motel car shelter
None of those are fit for the boys so they are gonna have to
stay with daddy
I am going on the job hunt searching for hrs opposite from my
husband to resolve baby sitter issues
Starting note book today but will take a long time for him to beielve I am not going anywhere so the living arrangements are just what is necessary
Each day I am trying to spend as much time with him as possible
taking each day to say an do the things I should hav always been the things no matter what
I should have never stopped!!
He doesn't say he loves me anymore (I know he does) but I still tell him the rolling of the eyes or silence when I do is just part of the reality that is all my fault
My oldest son asked today if he could go back to church
I said I think ofcourse an I think it's a good idea we all go
Realizing I don't only need to prove myself in this new life to my husband an kids but god to
I stopped going to church many years ago
He is here now WAHOO!!!! We spending time together
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Be sure that any new job you get doesn't prevent you from spending time with your husband.
I can understand the babysitting $$$ -- but that has to take a back seat to spending quality time as a family and as a couple.
Lots of people get INTO this trouble because of that.
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Wow rocky impressed me enough to bring a tear in
But I am not the one to impress
I'm am sure you are getting Gods attention also, on the positive side now.
But He will not play favorites, and he cannot lie, or change the truth, or deny it either
As long as you are earnestly seeking Him, he will honor you. The only one who can screw that up is you and you can't blame others for your lack of honesty with Him
God bless you on this leg of your journey, and remember to do or die, and let strike see your every move.
Your on your way but the battle is not over yet, hang tough
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I am going on the job hunt searching for hrs opposite from my
husband to resolve baby sitter issues Don't get a job with opposing hours unless you can get at least 20 hours of undivided attention scheduled with your H each week. My H and I made the mistake of having opposing schedules and it lead to his A.
Last edited by hbd; 08/03/11 06:27 PM.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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I am going on the job hunt searching for hrs opposite from my
husband to resolve baby sitter issues Don't get a job with opposing hours unless you can get at least 20 hours of undivided attention scheduled with your H each week. My H and I made the mistake of having opposing schedules and it lead to his A. ITA
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Agree -- no opposite hours, Rocky. Counter productive.
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Rocky, I'm cheering you on! You can do this! Agree -- no opposite hours, Rocky. Counter productive. The minimum for a happy M is 15-20 hours UA, but I believe it's more in the neighborhood of 25-30 hours UA during recovery from an A. Opposing shifts won't help you guys accomplish that goal.
FWW
"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough." ~ Earl Wilson
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Especially now...too fragile.
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Rocky,
Glad you are home. And you will be home.
Keep moving forward on your path.
Church can help you with a place to stay, and with activities together.
SB
Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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We had amazing family time yesterday! Then we talked for about an hr then I got cuddles and kisses  talk about felling amazing The boys are so happy an so am I nothing I perfect but when we all four are together none of that matters At night when I lay my head on his chest i am happy an ok none of the hard parts of the day matter I keep doing everything I can to reasure him I am going no where today the plan is Surprise him at work steal a few kisses take him his fav snack then maybe lunch After he get off work I am gonna see if he want to go to the beach or pool
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You moving in the right direction , it will be hard work but the rewards will be great.
Last edited by Xau; 08/04/11 08:09 AM.
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Rocky,
I am proud of you girl, remember how wonderful it feels to love your husband again, you know it's right, make it great girl, this is your chance, put your best foot forward............
Take it slowly, don't expect a lot .......just enjoy getting to know each other in a better way then it has ever been.........
jessi
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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Rocky,
You are taking steps that might make your husband realize you're serious this time. I hope you are and I'm praying for you both. We're all rooting for you.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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Yesterday was a hard for my husband, we had lunch went swimming dinner but no matter what we did it's was a day of pain for him
He remained wonderful and it didn't seem to even be difficult for him I could just literally see his pain all day made me feel guilty for enjoying the our time together. I kept reasuring him
and would just give him a kiss and hug knowing he didn't want to talk at those moments
He left wasn't going to stay but he came back I guess he just needed time to himself to sort out his thoughts and then he came back to me
we had our hour talk and then some wonderful alone time!!!!
So is it wrong of me to be happy just be near him when I know he isn't enjoying the time because he is hurting? I feel horrible and the same time I can hardly contain the excitement to be near him for him to hold my hand
to put his hand on the small of my back leading me in to a door way him telling me how bueitful I am, then I see his pain then I feel guilty.
Do I have the right to be hurt mad sad self congious about things we discuss he has done since he has been here
I feel these things and honest with him about these feelings but struggle with feel like I don't have that right. I feel like how dare I question what he has done I drove him to it
how dare I feel hurt or sad about things in comparision I say to myself REALLY you selfish inconsiderate monster
my pain isn't anywhere on the same planet as his
talk about needing a hug me jacket and padded walls on trying to figure that all out........................
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(((Hugs)))
I am happy for you, Strike and your kids. You made the right decision:)
No advice, just good luck:D
FWW?
no children
D-day Sept 2010
Divorced requested by BH Jan 2011
Separated Sept 2011
OW discovery Oct 2011
Divorced 2012
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Rocky,
Just be honest and firm with your intent and your responsibility to fix what needs to happen, be loving in a secure kind of way, he loves you being home and reconnecting it is just going to take a little time for him to feel safe, enjoy the moments that's what I did, kept me going with my plan to recover when I was having doubts or I was hurting........
all you can be is honest and this is your chance to make things right and say all that you wanted to say ........
someone has to lead you guys back to being happy........when he can't you take over .................be gentle and loving.......
I am praying for you two.........
jessi
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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Rock this is all so wonderful to hear.
You were an inconsiderate monster, but not any more.
Your feelings show concern for him, empathy with him - the exact opposite of being wayward. Welcome into the light.
You are happy because you have stopped hurting him and want to heal him and yourself, so of course that's not wrong.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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