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Originally Posted by Prisca
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I have 3 female friends that I talk to on-line that I would not want to share with my husband.
I thought you said you didn't have any female friends to talk to ...

My friend from another state knows but she lives too far to get together and talk. We just talk through email.

I would never tell my two female friends from the gym. They both can't stand my husband and tell me to leave him. It makes it hard to discuss my marriage when someone is always putting down my husband.

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Originally Posted by GloveOil
Originally Posted by violette
Thanks for sharing your story. I have read all the post and even called my spiritual director about telling my husband. I just am unsure and not ready. He wants me to talk to my priest first. He does feel that I will eventually need to come clean but feels I should get farther along in my recovery first.
Have you read wulffpack_gurl's story over in the "Recovery" section? It is a powerful lesson in what can happen when you try to recover a marriage without coming clean at the start.

Ignore this lesson at your peril.

Think hard about it before you try to pull a nice clean carpet over those rotten floorboards, Violette.

God please help you. It seems I can't. I am sorry.

I will read through it. I have been reading the different threads.

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Originally Posted by violette
Thanks for sharing your story. I have read all the post and even called my spiritual director about telling my husband. I just am unsure and not ready. He wants me to talk to my priest first. He does feel that I will eventually need to come clean but feels I should get farther along in my recovery first.

You won't recover unless and until you stop defrauding your victims. Honesty is the first step, not the last. Any "spiritual" director who advocates dishonesty and fraud is of the WRONG spirit, the devil. Lying and adultery are not of God, but you know that. You are wasting our time and yours as long as you continue to lie and defraud your husband.

I don't think you understand how offensive you are to decent people, Violet, so let me give you analogy so you can understand.

Picture the unrepentant, brazen rapist imposing himself on a group of rape victims. Not only is that horrifying to the rape victims, but very offensive to decent people. That is you. Look around you. This forum is full of people who are trying to save their marriages. And you are here to continue to destroy yours by defrauding your victims. Brazen, unrepentant, vicious....

Your unrepentant deceit and fraud is offensive to decent people. I hope you can understand how it comes across to others here.

A better place for you would be boards that support deceit and fraud. Such as gloryb.com. That is where the other adulterers congregate and talk about how to trick their victims.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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Vio,

Your dishonesty toward you husband is not about your husband. It's about You and only You. You simply don't want to face the consequesnces. Sheesh. It's no more complicated than that. The sooner you see that, the better.

You are living a lie, deceiving everyone around you, and lying to yourself.

When the people around you eventually connect those dots, and they will, you're going to be in a world of hurt far worse and far more reaching than where you think you are today, lady.

Eat a bullet today, or eat a bomb 12 months from now. Choose your weapon. Choosing neither is not an option, BTW. As the song says, "not choosing is a choice".

Good luck with that strategy.

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You don't need a spitual director to tell you how/when to tell the truth for heavens sake

Does he tell you how to not steal, how to be kind to others, how to say please and thank you as well?

It is a very simple life skill Violette and you know how do it.

Start doing it this instant and stop lying.

We cannot help you if you will not help yourself


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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I've been wondering something. Who is this "spiritual advisor" and what qualifies him/her for this role?


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Ditto.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by violette
Originally Posted by Prisca
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I have 3 female friends that I talk to on-line that I would not want to share with my husband.
I thought you said you didn't have any female friends to talk to ...

My friend from another state knows but she lives too far to get together and talk. We just talk through email.

I would never tell my two female friends from the gym. They both can't stand my husband and tell me to leave him. It makes it hard to discuss my marriage when someone is always putting down my husband.

Why can't they stand him?
I think it's because you are always telling them how bad he is.

This is the logic behind your justifying your affairs.

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Originally Posted by violette
I have no problem with the NC because it has been over 5 months and I am not interested in seeing any of the men. It actually makes me sick to think about it. Not interested in having a PA with anyone. But the EP and giving out all my passwords would be awful. I would lose all privacy. I have a male training partner that I would probably have to stop training with. I am not even sure I would be allowed to go to daily mass or prayer group since my husband does not like one of the men that also goes.

I couldn't imagine taking a lie detector test.

I am very private and secretive even before the affairs. We don't tell each other where we are going and don't share that much about our lives. I called my husband today to let him know I just got our of Eucharist Adoration and was heading to the gym. That is not like me but I thought I would try to include him in my life.

I like the love bank information. 15 hours a week of alone time with my husband would be difficult. He is a workaholic. His first love is his company. I am lucky to get 15 minutes. We don't even talk before or after sex.

A lot to think about.

These responses by you show you are learning that the way you have been living your marriage is wrong. Admitting the affairs were wrong. Never reaching out during the day with a call, now you are. That you have to give up passwords, transparent, no place for secrets between H and W. Boundaries are good this is why you know it's wrong to have a male trainer, stay away from men your BH does not like.

There have been many an affair started where the first time the preBS saw the preOP there was a sense of dislike/distrust for them. The preBS's 6th sense was pegged on full danger.

Their preWS ignored the advice for them to stay away and became a WS. Damage done when it could of been avoided.

And edit to add you are admitting you have failed to meet 15 hours UA time. Your making progress.

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Originally Posted by princessmeggy
I've been wondering something. Who is this "spiritual advisor" and what qualifies him/her for this role?

Any "spiritual advisor" who advises her client to lie and defraud her husband is of the dark spirits. Certainly not of God.

Whoever says �I know him� but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, 1John 2:4


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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Geez i swore I would NOT come back but...

The reason you have FRIENDS who also detest your betrayed husband Violette, is because THEY ENABLE YOU to do the vile things you've done and ARE doing.

They are not friends of your marriage.

FIRE the damn spiritual advisor. FIRE your half baked friends. Woman up now. Or you WILL feel the FIRE when one day your betrayed husband finds out your little secrets.

Little secrets have a way of growing, ie the snowball effect. It won't be long before it is a giant snowball causing an avalanche.

NOW WOMAN UP. Quit wasting time with excuses. AND I WILL NOT ALLOW MY PRECIOUS TIME TO BE WASTED writing to you again, unless you WOMAN UP.

Again, WOMAN UP.

If not, you can always hit the "log out" key and go visit that skank ho site that Melody suggested to you, should you want to remain a skank.

As you are now, there is NOTHING different from you than a common street ho working the corner. Why? YOU are stealing money from a man(your husband), sleeping with him to get it, and USING him to make your life comfortable. Meanwhile, you're "working it" with that "friend" of yours on the side and had other guys out there whom you got with before.

So tell me...what IS THE DIFFERENCE? Where is the honor? You are NOT honoring your marriage behaving like that.

and I suspect there is a REAL reson why you won't tell yet. That is because if you are THE SELFISH wayward I think you are, and you leave him, you KNOW WITOUT A DOUBT how hard the courts will come down on your butt with regard to custody. Courts do not like bad mothers or fathers.

And it's funny. Violette, a lawyer who is worth his/her salt, will usually FIND OUT if the opposing party IS CHEATING or not. You see in many states, including non fault states, the judge is still INFLUENCED by all the bad that goes along with affairs: squandering of joint monies/assets, bad parenting, negligent parenting, deceit, etc.

So you can run...but it's a matter of time before you're found out. I say take the HONORABLE route and try like hell to save your marriage before YOU CANNOT YOURSELF be saved.


Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
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violette,

I see that you are contacting your emotional affair partner for advice on telling your husband about your affairs.


Read what I wrote again, and I believe you will see exactly how illogical that is. If not, I will change just a couple of words, and see what you think then:

I see that you are contacting your bank robbery partner for advice on telling the police about your bank robberies.

NOW do you get it?



Your emotional affair partner is unlikely to point you in the direction of the moral and ethically correct path, violette.


Furthermore, if your EA partner has any feelings that mirror yours, he is also exhibiting some cloudy thinking, and will also have selfish bias in his advising you. He will do exactly what HE WANTS, and that will be anything that prolongs his affair with you, and increases the likelihood of your remaining in contact with him.

You have expressed concern that your husband's having your passwords would remove your "secrecy". That is exactly the POINT, violette. Let me try to explain to you part of the reason why your marriage is in the toilet.

You and your husband do not communicate about basic events in your lives. You don't even tell one another where you are going on a routine basis.

Let's face it - when two college roommates share a dorm room, even those two people generally say where they are going when they leave. It is called "common courtesy". The roomies look out for one another, if only so that if something happens, somebody else at least knows a general information about their whereabouts or plans, for crying out loud. You are saying you two don't even share this?

Your children KNOW. Your mom already knows, trust me. My hunch is that your husband suspects.


Anyway, on about the issue of your marriage. You two don't talk about common daily events, and basically operate independently of one another. That independent behavior creates distance, violette. It creates a sense of emotional distance, even if you are meeting in the bed for sex. Sex becomes routine, and there is no emotional connection, because the rest of your life simply is not "shared".

You don't talk, you don't have mutually shared affectionate opportunities, you don't have romatic engagements, you don't have recreational companionship or conversations. Basically, what your marriage becomes is two people who share bills, a house, and food in a fridge. Sometimes bodies bump.

Emotional needs are not met. Is it any wonder that you become lonely in such a situation? Do you see why your husband pulled away? Why YOU pulled away?

Who is to blame, really? BOTH of you. This is a mutual issue, and it happens over time. This did not happen because of one thing, one day, one moment. It happens over time, because we lose focus on one another. It happens too easily, violette.

We work too many hours, we are stressed, we are too tired, we have kids and housework, our parents get sick, somebody has surgery, etc., etc., and before we know it we have lost too many hours from being together, and we settle into a routine of being "on our own".

And then we find we selfishly guard that alone time. Because it is easier to just not bother with having to meet anybody else's needs. We are selfish creatures by nature, and while we WANT others to meet OUR NEEDS, we are kind of lazy about being too giving. Even when giving might make others want to meet our needs, we still are cranky about being givers.

Then, when we are in this middle of this steady downhill slide into becoming independent and selfish, we just start finding it very easy to blame our spouses for things being the way they are in the marriage. It is very easy to see what is wrong with other people, violette. I find it easy to point the finger at others, and I'm pretty sure that others find it easy to point at me.

Your marriage went downhill the same way too many marriages go that way. It's happening to other marriages right now.


Only what happened in your situation was that you decided that you would look outside your marriage for consolation and enjoyment. You wanted something...an emotional need met...that was not being met inside the marriage. And you had long since decided that you were entitled to something "more".

When the opportunity came along, you made the decision to have an affair, and that:

1. your husband wasn't a good husband right now and hadn't been for a long time; he had essentially checked out of the marriage
2. what your H didn't know would not hurt him
3. you would probably end up divorced anyway, so what difference would this make
4. maybe your H has already cheated on you, so he might not even care
5. your H never paid any attention to you anymore, so he probably wouldn't care anyway
6. you deserved to be "happy"


There are probably a dozen others I could list. You probably "justified" your behavior and reasoned it out for yourself in a myriad of ways.

The truth is that the state of your marriage at the time of your affair was the fault of both you and your husband.

BUT YOUR AFFAIRS ARE YOUR OWN FAULT, violette. They were a choice, and your current emotional affair is an ongoing sin (as defined by your own religion).

So to return to the matter of your concerns over "secrecy"? Your concerns are that you want to keep your affairs secret, your passwords secret, and your independent behaviors secret.

Your affairs cannot be kept secret, because they erode the very foundation of the marital house. Your house will crumble under their weight.

Your passwords cannot be kept secret, because they protect communication avenues by which you contact people who can support you in your affair behavior, and also you will continue to spread information about your husband which is colored by the clouded thinking you are using right now. You are deep in the fog, violette, and have some really bad judgement - look only to your behavior of sleeping with four men to validate that statement.

Your independent behaviors, right now consisting of meeting with an affair partner, must not be kept secret. Your husband must be your support network, he must be the person to meet your emotional needs, to be your recreational companion, to meet your sexual needs, to meet your conversational needs, to meet all of your needs - because THIS is the way to "fix your marriage"


which answers your thread question


AND IT ALL BEGINS WITH THE CONCEPT OF



RADICAL HONESTY



I PRAY THAT YOU HAVE READ THAT........



Schoolbus


Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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About my female friends. I use to only say positive stuff about my husband. I pretty much had him on a pedestal. When I switched my attitude and told them that I felt he was cold, controlling and I was tired of the fact that he treats me like an employee and an idiot. One of them said that it was about time I see my husband for the axxhole that he is and now I can finally get healthy. That I am a screwed up mess that is constantly controlled and manipulated by the people around me and it is about time I opened my eyes.

Anyway, she continued to tell me that I was a loser over the next few weeks so I stopped discussing things with her and I certainly didn't tell her about the affairs.

The other female said that I am young enough and pretty so my husband can easily be replaced. Not exactly the best support system. I really don't make female friends easy and not the best kind. My friend that I take to on the internet, also cheats and is an physically and emotionally abusive marriage so I can be honest with her. Our husbands are a lot a like so it is easy for us to encourage bad behavior.

I will not discuss the spiritual director. I don't care about what you think about me but he is a very good man and helped me through a very dark time. He got me to stop all contact with the men, go to confession, gives me reading material and a name of a therapist. He makes sure that I am behaving when my husband is out of the country. Double checks if I am losing it. He lets me make my own decisions but does try to get me to talk to my husband and to try to get marriage counseling.

I am out of time. I need to head out but will respond to schoolbus and road when I get back. Schoolbus your post is so accurate it is scary.

melody - I think the right thing to do is let the thread go because I am not here to hurt anyone but I just keep getting drawn back in and can't keep thinking about what has been said on the thread. I haven't been sleeping well so I know I am not at peace with my current choices.

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Violette, if you won't discuss the so-called "spiritual director," then let's take a look at your so-called "friends."

I urge you to get a copy of a couple of books - one is "Love and Respect" (Eggerichs), the other is "The Respect Dare" (Roesner). I don't believe either conflicts at all with Dr. H's writings, as the concept of respect, as the authors explain it, is very similar to the EN of admiration for men. MY H and I did a Bible study using Eggerichs's book, and it opened my eyes as far as how to properly communicate with and show respect to my husband - well, truthfully, it showed me what I was doing WRONG. Roesner's book helped me to demonstrate respect to my H in ways that he could understand.

The reason I recommend these is b/c one of the items that the books deal with is how women, when we get together, tend to vent about our H's. We complain, we commisserate...we're not really asking for advice, we just want to b*tch. Men tend to be "fixers" of problems, women tend more towards empathizing. A man doesn't want to hear you moan and complain, but bring a man a problem and ask him for help fixing it, and that's where he will shine. My eyes were opened to how much time I spent whining about my situation, or listening to my GF's complain about their H's, and I finally "got it" - how utterly disrespectful that sort of behavior is.

Why do we not tell our GF's about the wonderful qualities of our H's? Is it to garner attention and sympathy? Do we want support for seeking "happiness" at whatever cost? puke First off, my GF's sound a bit different from yours, as never has someone I consider a friend called me a "loser," nor would anyone who called me a "loser" be considered a friend. Even still, I avoid discussing my M with them b/c of several things.

One, none of them understand what happens to a BS after an A. I can't pretend I understand everything either, as a FWS, but what I've learned here has given me perspective. Two, none of them know my H like I do. For years they heard me complain, instead of talking about the wonderful qualities he has, and so even now they minimize the good. Third, your friends - true friends - DO want to see you happy, and that, combined with a limited understanding of marital recovery, can be deadly for a marriage.

You should not have any friends who are not a friend to your M. ANy friend who supports your infidelity and dishonesty is not a friend at all!

That said, none of this advice is of any use to you unless you truly, with 100% effort, embark on a journey to recover your M, and that begins with complete honesty to your H. Yes, you can look at my sitch and say that honesty cost me my M, but that's a fallacy of reasoning. Honesty did not cost me my M. I destroyed my M because I was unfaithful and I lied like a rug about it.

Your H has no idea of the evil that has taken root in your M. Honesty will set him free, free to either restore your M and be a H who will meet your ENs, protect you, and cherish you, or free to live a life that is not based on a lie.

If you're dwelling on the things that have been said here to you, if you're having trouble sleeping, then that is an indicator that you have a conscience, and you know that what you are doing to your H is wrong.

I really can't give you any more advice than that. If you want to come back to this thread and get serious about saving your M, serious about giving your very soul a chance, then I will be glad to help, but until then I feel like what I say is falling on deaf ears. Maybe it will help one of the many lurkers we get on the boards.


FWW

"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough." ~ Earl Wilson
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Originally Posted by violette
I will not discuss the spiritual director. I don't care about what you think about me but he is a very good man and helped me through a very dark time. He got me to stop all contact with the men, go to confession, gives me reading material and a name of a therapist. He makes sure that I am behaving when my husband is out of the country. Double checks if I am losing it. He lets me make my own decisions but does try to get me to talk to my husband and to try to get marriage counseling.

I will discuss your [dark] "spiritual" director. He advocates lying and defrauding your husband. If he were a good man he would have told your husband a long time ago. Sorry, but that is not of God. His leadership is of the wrong spirit. And you won't be able to use your "spiritual" director as an excuse for your deceit. You are 1000% responsible for committing fraud on your husband. You are responsible. Saying some fool told you it was ok to lie and deceive will not absolve you of that reponsibility. It is NOT OK to lie, Violet. That is not of God.


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melody - I think the right thing to do is let the thread go because I am not here to hurt anyone but I just keep getting drawn back in and can't keep thinking about what has been said on the thread. I haven't been sleeping well so I know I am not at peace with my current choices.

And there is a reason you are not at peace. Because you are in a fallen state and are cut off from God. You can't reconcile from God with lies on your lips.

The right thing to do is to let this thread go if you are not serious. If you are only here to get support to deceive and trick your husband you are in the wrong place, lady. You won't get any support for that here. If you are serious about telling your husband the truth and doing the right thing, you will get lots of help. But this forum is not here to support liars and cheaters. It is inappropriate to ask for such help here.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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I know spouses who have actually given up their faith over churches that advocated such fraud. Can you imagine what your husband will think of this church's complicity in your crimes when he finds out? Your dark "spirit" advisor has become an accessory to your crimes. You are the bank robber and he is the get-a-way car driver.

Your dark spiritual advisor needs to consider that when he advises you to sin against your husband. Your husband will likely be enraged when he finds out this fool helped you trick him. How will your husband feel about the church when he finds this out?

Suggestion: if you are serious about doing the right thing instead of the wrong thing, go to this fool and tell him you are going to to do the right thing and tell your husband the truth. Ask him to support you in doing the right thing. I was going to suggest to bring him along but I think that might be a bad idea.

True repentance can only come from telling your husband the truth. And yes, you CAN do that.

Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. 21 But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.
John 3:20-21.



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Violette,


Stop lying.

No excuses
No fears
No running to bad friends to be absolved.

You asked for a plan, you got one.

Stopping lying is step one.

Everyone is getting bored, frustrated and offended by having to repost the same simple, honest advice over and over. I am an inch close to stopping.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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violette,

Your desire to "let the thread go" is there because you have a desire to run from the truth.


In a sense, we all want to run from that which shines a light on the darkest underbelly of our ugliest self. We do not want people to know about our sexual promiscuity because it is ugly. We do not want people to know we have used illegal drugs because it is shameful. We don't want people to see us shoplift because it is sinful. We don't advertise our robbing banks because it is illegal and has bad consequences.

We do not want others to judge us negatively. We do not want to suffer negative consequences for our bad behavior, even when we acknowlege that our behavior is indeed bad!

Studies show that children as young as the age of two will lie to cover behavior they knew to be wrong. Imagine - we humans learn to lie by the age of two.



You have come to lie fairly naturally, violette. It is not due to abuse. Nobody could claim that normal two year olds have all been abused, and that is why they lie. Nope.


You are lying to your husband for many reasons.

First, let me tell you "thank you" for saying that my post was so accurate it was scary.

Let's talk about your lies. I want you to understand yourself a bit, so you can consider moving past the lies.

You have to understand that I know you could lose your husband, and that you worry about custody of your kids. Think also that your kids are teenagers, and in most states teenagers actually CHOOSE which parent to live with. Anyways...


Lies. There are basic reasons for lying behavior. Yours are fairly mundane and classic. I don't see anything unusual behind your lying about your affair. Here are your motivations, in a nutshell:

Not in any particular order, BTW

1. Fear of being judged negatively by your husband, and his revealing this to the rest of your family, and their consequent negative judgement.

2. Fear that your husband will immediately leave you, and summarily file for divorce.

3. Fear of the loss of the respect and love of your children, and that they will choose to support your husband as the result of your behavior.

4. Financial issues.

5. Fear of uncertainty of how the family might work if there were a divorce; how would weddings work out, where would you live, logistics of a divorce itself and the immediate needs you would face, trying to explain this situation to everyone, etc. Just the overall initial drama and fallout would be very difficult.

6. In the event that your husband elects to remain married, fear that this would involve a great deal of work, and that you are not sure that this is even what you want at all. Fear that your husband is not the person you want to remain married to, that he cannot "change", and that you have not loved him for a long time and probably cannot love him again even if you tried. Fear that you and your husband could not get past the affair business, and that it would be held against you for the rest of your married life.



That's just a few reasons for continuing the lies.



Here are a few reasons for telling the truth:
not in any particular order

1. You and your husband could talk openly about the state of the marriage prior to your affairs, how the marriage got to be what it was, and actually discuss HIS feelings about the relationship, as well as yours.

2. Your husband could tell YOU what his dissatisfactions were with the marriage. At this point, you know yours, but have little to no input regarding his point of view - except your own assumptions and disrespectful judgements about his.

3. Your husband and you could make informed decisions regarding the future of the marriage, based on complete and accurate information about the true history of the marriage. And this could be done together - not unilaterally, which you are currently doing, with the input of people who are NOT IN THE MARRIAGE, and with people who are getting only BIASED information, from YOU.

4. Your husband will be afforded at least a fair opportunity to CHOOSE to change, to CHOOSE to recover the marriage, or not, based on complete and truthful information. He may not realize the truth of his life. He may very well feel that his marriage is stagnant, that his wife has grown away from him, that he is lonely, that he wants "more"......and that he is searching and lonely for that woman he used to be married to.

and has not been able to connect to for a long, long time.




Your husband may very well be wondering how to save his marriage.



And you are out there looking OUTSIDE the marriage

and ignoring the one person who may be capable of helping save it.




There are only TWO people in your marriage.

You.
and
Your Husband.


Both of you need the truth in order to make reliable decisions.




When the two of you sit down to put this marriage back on the tracks, what would you do if he said,


"Six years ago I had an affair with four women".



I'm just wondering.
Because that could happen to you......or to him. One day, it WILL happen to him - the number of years or months will change, but it will happen.


You control when he finds out, and how he finds out.

Or, you might be the recipient of the news, because the environment in your marriage is obviously ripe for affairs. YOU are creating that environment. I am warning you for this, because the first half is done - your affair.


I hope your husband has better boundaries than you have.


You need to talk to your husband.



Schoolbus



Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
Joined: Mar 2010
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Here are the main issues:

1)You say NO to exposing your nasty affair to your husband.
2)You say NO to firing this very unwise and dark "spiritual" helper, whom I suspect really IS your emotional affair partner...
3)You say NO to ending your emotional affair.

EXACTLY HOW are you applying the new knowledge of MB if your answer to the key problems going on is NO?

EXPLAIN THAT.

Are you going to quit lying and DO WHAT YOU ARE NOT DOING NOW. End this life charade.


Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
Joined: Dec 2007
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Today there is another WW that was afraid to tell her BH the truth.

She was afraid he husband would leave.

Today is the day she told her BH about the affair.

Her BH is not leaving her. He is hurt. He is staying with his WW.

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