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Yea Indie, those are the kind our readers might just get but not know what is really BEHIND those cutting words.
It seems to me that their words usually do this when they spit out the very stupid excuses for wanting either a separation or divorce:
1)they choose reasons to exonerate them and save themselves from guilt or APPEARING the guilty party
2)they blame the betrayed spouse (who does not know they are a betrayed spouse)for arcane or stupid reasons or intangible reasons why they are made unhappy by the betrayed spouse. Like my xwh saying I didn't cook enough of his favorite dinners.
Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
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13) I think we MARRIED TOO YOUNG.
*truth translation; And my AP is only a few years older than we were when we got married.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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For the past year while he has been in the affair the reasons for the divorce continuously change.
14) I have to divorce you because if I don't all my soldier buddies would think you had me by my balls.
translation: (MelodyLane's translation) -- I am such a gurl that as a 34 year old father of four I am so weak I bow to peer pressure and make my decisions according to my friend's opinion of me.
15) My mom told me that you are so disrespectful how could I be with anyone like you. If you would have just stayed out of my life when I wanted to separate.
translation: How dare you invade my privacy by reading emails, cell phone bill, and facebook. Since you did this and exposed my affair to everyone I have to divorce you because I am a coward and running from all my problems.
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Good Thread,
I need to find myself-heard that one
A good one I also heard was-"There are so many things that bother me about you"--My thought-And you don't think you destroying our marriage DIDN'T bother me??
I need to live my life for myself- What is there an alien controlling your actions and choices?? Mine just always blamed her mother and still does
Me-BH-39
WW-34 (Strugglingaz)
Married 7-dated 3 previous
D-10
D-6
1st D-day-2-26-11 2nd D-day-5-17-11
NC-3-9-11---Broke 4-2-11, 4-8-11-,5-16-11 Maybe more
BH-Filed for D-5-17-2011
Divorced 2-21-2012
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1)they choose reasons to exonerate them and save themselves from guilt or APPEARING the guilty party
2)they blame the betrayed spouse (who does not know they are a betrayed spouse) Yeah those are the top two reasons for lying about their motives, I will submit a third reason too 3) Persuading themselves the mariage is not based on REAL love so they can 'understand' why they love their soulmate schmoopie. i.e. we married too young I married you because of my family pressuring me I married you for a green card I didnt know what love was before blah blah blah When, even if it were true, how does that excuse lying and cheating?!! Particularly the continuance of lying about the reasons for a divorce!!!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Oh, I almost forgot!
My parents forced me to marry him.
Translation--I still have to blame everybody and anybody for my poor choices.
I do remember her walking to the alter with her parents behind her with a gun to her head telling her "You ain't got no choice in this dear"
Me-BH-39
WW-34 (Strugglingaz)
Married 7-dated 3 previous
D-10
D-6
1st D-day-2-26-11 2nd D-day-5-17-11
NC-3-9-11---Broke 4-2-11, 4-8-11-,5-16-11 Maybe more
BH-Filed for D-5-17-2011
Divorced 2-21-2012
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What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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"You just aren't happy with me any more, you just don't want to admit it".
Please stop making me feel guilty. If I tell you that YOU aren't happy, I dont have to give you any reasons for why I am not happy with you - because I dont have any and I want to blame you. This was the most recent one I heard too!
Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.
Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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My WW doesn't want divorced. She wants to continue living with OM until it falls apart and then come back to me. I am supposed to wait.
Translation: I want him to file for divorce so I can play victim!
Me = BH
DDay Dec. 2010
D filed Oct 2011 (by me)
D final 3/16/12
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I have to add to this... I heard it so often, I knew exactly when it was coming out of WH's mouth.
"I can't live under a miscroscope anymore"
I can'tmake up good enough lies anymore that will convince you I'm not shagging OW. It's too hard to figure out what you will believe.
Oddly enough, I think I probably started to scare the carp out of WH... I really had him believing I was a psychic (of course, I was reading all of his texts and could see everywhere he went tee-hee)
Me: BW
WH 41 (practicing alcoholic)
Married 20 yrs
DS20, DD15, DD9
Too many D-Days to account for, more FRs than I care to admit
NC since 03/11, broken 04/11
NC again 07/11 broken 12/11
Plan D full steam ahead, made WH leave
WH now living with his "soul mate" (we call her donkeychui) 1/13/2012
D filed 01/25/2012
D final 05/15/2012
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