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#2539176 08/29/11 04:00 PM
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Does anyone have any experience in filing for a divorce through the courts yourself, without hiring an attorney?

I can buy a packet that has all the info and file at the court house myself. The main reason is that I am unable to afford the retainer since I have been a stay at home mom for 3 years and I have very limited access to money.

Cathy
Separated from WH Aug 27, 2011

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No experience there,

Was thinking that a batter woman shelter may have a line on how to do it or can help you with it.

I'm sure they will be nice to you even if no abuse has occurred, I'd start there


Me BS 54
XWW 51 Divorce final 1/9/12
DS26 DS24 Twin DD's22 Married 29years
D-dates No1 01/2007, No2 08/2008(ongoing)
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Thank you, Stillcommitted! I did go to speak with them and they just referred me to the Oregon Bar. Still need to find it I can qualify for a modest means program.

Part of me wants to see if he will man up and do what he says he will do(pay the house bills until I can find a job), but the other part says that I need to protect myself. We have been married almost 29 years. The person that I see today does not even closely resemble the guy I married. This one lies, cheats and can't see past himself. He doesn't care if he hurts our kids as long as he feels he is winning. I feel foolish for hanging in there that long with someone of that lack of humanity for anyone.

Me: 50
WH: 50
Married 28 years (Oct 82)
Currently separated and pending divorce action

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Cathy,

I would retain a lawyer, I know that the one you talked to wanted $2500, which is not unusual.If you have been a stay at home mom for that last 28 years, the court will help you survive, and that can be done quickly.

As for the retainer there might be a creative way to get thru that by given the lawyer the title to your car or something else of value. Or maybe your parents or a sibling could help you out.

But it's important that you get the right lawyer for you, You need to ask around and get a list going of potential lawyers. You should be able to get a list of 5 or so of them and as you continue to ask one or two of them will rise to the top of the best one in your area.

I would interview the top 2 or 3, you can do that for free, normally they give an initial consult for free. You should be able to lay out your story in 5 min. The rest of the interview should be the lawyer explaining the process and what options you have for recovery.

I would expect the lawyer to say that they can handle the filing and get an emergency hearing before a judge to award temporary support for you and the kids.

I would not hire the 1st lawyer I interview until I have talked with all the candidates.

You should be hearing the same basic story from all of them on what your options are. The court will not allow your WH to just walk away from the family and you without consequence, and a good lawyer will have a path of recovery for you.

Mels advice to get a job is good, the one thing you can count on is that it will not go as planed and money will be tight. In spite of a court ruling that the WH is to pay, he may not until facing jail time, which is a lot of lawyer fees and time to work out, in the mean time you suffer.

I would have a list of lawyers to talk to and interviews be the end of this week !!!!!!!!!

By the end of next week you should be filed and have a hearing for emergency support.

Cathy, this court system has traditionally supported women in your situation. If you WH has income the court will go after it.

Another thing I'm sure the lawyer that you retain will need what your WH has been making last couple of tax returns will do the trick.




As


Me BS 54
XWW 51 Divorce final 1/9/12
DS26 DS24 Twin DD's22 Married 29years
D-dates No1 01/2007, No2 08/2008(ongoing)
Joined: Sep 2003
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Thanks for the advice. I hope to have all this figured out soon. I just know that it is going to work out and things will be ok, I just don't know which path God wants me on...

I am trying to do this so that my children (the most important thing) have minimal damage. My husband had no consideration for anyone but himself at this moment and is using them as weapons (letting them be out at all hours, not knowing where they are, giving them the car to out of town and even smoking hookha with them). One of the big issues we had was he wanted absolute control over the girls and who they were friends with, where they went and what they did. This is an absolute flip which is just telling me he is trying to control them for his purpose.

I have only been staying home for 3 years. I have been looking for a job off and on but now it has to be ON. In our small community, jobs are scarce right now. I do have skills and an Associate's degree but there is a lot of competition right now. But this is where, I have to believe that God had the right thing for me, I just have to be patient. smile

I do our taxes, so I have access to all that info on his income. I have no financial back up since both my parents have passed on and my sister is in the process of buying a new house, but I am seriously thinking of getting the divorce packet with all of the forms needed and doing it myself. My husband doesn't have money for a retainer either, so that should help. smile

Cathy

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What state do you live in? Do you have much in the way of marital assets to divide?

I have a few friends that have self-filed. I would have been comfortable self-filing myself but the assets are too complex. Most counties also have legal aid services.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt

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