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#2541229 09/05/11 10:23 AM
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Anyone who understands the concepts of Marriage Builders. No matter how long they have been here. I know people who have been here for 12 years who have never owned a book and wouldn't know the POJA from a PITA sandwich.

On the other hand, I know people who have been here for 2 months who know as much or more than me, read almost every book, been through the course and listened to hundreds of hours of the MB radio show.

It is not an exclusive club at all. We have good folks who show up here every day who know alot about Marriage Builders. Anyone who knows the program and is willing to help others is an invaluable asset to this board, no matter how long they have been here. And I call them all "vets.." smile


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Anyone who understands the concepts of Marriage Builders....

...Anyone who knows the program and is willing to help others...
That, and the ability to help a cow in labour...


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
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Aw, Mel... how do you really feel?


Hey, guys! There are quite a few of you out there who "get it!"

Don't just say "wait for the vets!"

Don't be afeared (misspelled on porpoise!) to make a mistake or be wrong! That provides you with an opportunity to learn!

Learn to scan the available articles! As you become familiar with them, you will be able to recall them so that you can quote and link them!

It's not rocket science, it's Marriage Building!


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Originally Posted by SugarCane
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Anyone who understands the concepts of Marriage Builders....

...Anyone who knows the program and is willing to help others...
That, and the ability to help a cow in labour...

It's LABOR, you silly foreigner! sigh

Well said, HHH!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by SugarCane
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Anyone who understands the concepts of Marriage Builders....

...Anyone who knows the program and is willing to help others...
That, and the ability to help a cow in labour...

It's LABOR, you silly foreigner! sigh

Well said, HHH!

I'm impressed with the evolution of your gentle communication... and to think, I was all ready to post a "pitbull-with-lipstick" pic on your "special" thread!

flirt


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
[

I'm impressed with the evolution of your gentle communication
flirt

Why yes, I am very gentle, thankyew! stickout


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
[

I'm impressed with the evolution of your gentle communication
flirt

Why yes, I am very gentle, thankyew! stickout

Maybe one day I can follow... sadly, I am very gentle outside of text...

/shrug


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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I am no Vet, but I did homebirth baby #4. It wasn't as easy as helping my farmer father deliver cows while growing up in the midwest.

My parents didn't do discipline, nope they did - delivering animals, laying pipe in 100 degree weather, or cleaning the horse poop in the barn. Yep, step out of line and my dad has some form of animal fluid that needed cleaning. I hated him for years ...

I can see now why I am such a fighter...

I guess I can incorporate that toughness now into the sissy's who refuse to EXPOSE. Darn fools!!!!

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Originally Posted by itistoughlove
I am no Vet

Get outta here!

You have a well demonstrated grasp on the MB concepts.

Not a vet... pff...

weightlifter


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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FYI

The term "MB vet" was a welcome change from "MB pro". Which we universally reject.

People used to start threads saying something like:

"Call out to the pros" .....

Once I become a pro, I will demand a salary. A large one.


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I'd say that I am a Plan B vet, but not an MB vet. I don't feel comfortable enough with my advice on subjects such as recovery, POJA since I don't have personal experience, and I haven't seen enough on the boards yet. I do find it funny when someone whom I would consider a "vet" talk about how the "vets" will come along soon and advise better.

I agree that it doesn't matter how long you have been here, what matters is that you advice is ALWAYS in line with MB principles. We are all still learning about MB. I have even seen Mel and Pep discuss different viewpoints, which is GREAT for us, and even better for them.

And to you MB vets, understand this, although you may not consider yourselves a "vet", we do, and that's what matters. We trust your advice, and we thank you.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Are we using 'vet' as a verb or a noun or both smile
verb #2. seems to be it........


vet
Also found in: Medical, Acronyms, Wikipedia 0.01 sec.
vet 1 (vt) Informal
n.
A veterinarian.
v. vet�ted, vet�ting, vets
v.tr.
1. To subject to veterinary evaluation, examination, medication, or surgery.
2. To subject to thorough examination or evaluation: vet a manuscript.
v.intr.
To engage in the practice of veterinary medicine.
vet 2 (vt)
n. Informal
A veteran.
The American Heritage� Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright �2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
vet1
n
(Life Sciences & Allied Applications / Veterinary Science) short for veterinary surgeon
vb vets, vetting, vetted
1. (tr) Chiefly Brit to make a prior examination and critical appraisal of (a person, document, scheme, etc.) the candidates were well vetted See also positive vetting
2. (Life Sciences & Allied Applications / Veterinary Science) to examine, treat, or cure (an animal)
vet2
n
(Military) US and Canadian short for veteran [2] [3]
Collins English Dictionary � Complete and Unabridged � HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003







reading #2541284 09/05/11 11:50 AM
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I hope to be a vet!

I feel like a vet in some ways, even though I have not posted much here. I feel like a vet in handling infidelity (exposing) and am getting there in recovery, but still need help in that area at times.

I'm not a vet at Plan B because I didn't have to do it, thankfully, but I do get the concept and agree with it wholeheartedly.


"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

Me, FBW(46) H, FWH (43)
M - 21 yrs & counting
D (20)
S (18)
S (16)
Surviving and Thriving since November 2010 thanks to MB!
My Recovery Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2538986#Post2538986
My Original Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2457141&page=1

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Originally Posted by SunnyDinTX
I hope to be a vet!

I feel like a vet in some ways, even though I have not posted much here. I feel like a vet in handling infidelity (exposing) and am getting there in recovery, but still need help in that area at times.

I DO consider you a "vet" because you know the program and have alot to share with newcomers. That is my definition of a "vet." smile


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Whoa, the power of positive thinking! Here I am, thinking about Scotty and she shows up! smile

I was thinking about Scotty because I consider her a "Plan B Vet". I defer to Scotty every time when someone asks about Plan B - I understand Plan B as a part of the program, but Scotty has worked that Plan. I was never in Plan B.

Now, if you want to know about the wisdom of exposure, I'm your girl and I'll throw in my two cents every time. Or why striking your remorseful husband is not considered an appropriate recovery action. blush Or the importance of implementing EPs.

Other posters are the go-to posters for things like having to deal with an affair where there is an OC. Or dealing with unremorseful waywards. Or being able to talk about legal aspects of affairs. Everyone here, in one way or another, is a 'vet' of some aspect of adultery.

The binding agent is understanding MB concepts and using them as the foundation for any response to posters coming here for help.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Or why striking your remorseful husband is not considered an appropriate recovery action. blush

You are not alone, although I seldom speak about this.

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Scotty, I do consider you a VET, because you do understand Marriage Builders and even have special experience in Plan B. You also have a good, level head on your shoulders. Common sense goes a LONG way in this business.

I will never forget reading BarnBoy's or Markos's posts when they had only been here for a couple of weeks, and learning something I did not know. The same thing with many of the folks on this thread. Reading came here knowing quite a bit and has been an invaluable help to others.

Contrast that to the occasional threads we see over the years for self proclaimed "old timers" who show up for cameo appearances. They pronounce themselves as "seasoned" "wisened" "sages" based only on the fact that they signed up 10+ years ago. Rarely do they even know anything about Marriage Builders. Often they don't even support Marriage Builders.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by itistoughlove
I am no Vet, but I did homebirth baby #4.

I'm no vet either. I consider myself a student (perpetually?).

I never home-birthed a baby, but I did deliver my middle child (on the bathroom floor)!


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Originally Posted by celticvoyager
Originally Posted by itistoughlove
I am no Vet, but I did homebirth baby #4.

I'm no vet either. I consider myself a student (perpetually?).

I never home-birthed a baby, but I did deliver my middle child (on the bathroom floor)!

Also, I kind of consider my self a "jonny-come-lately" to it all. We were three years post-d-day and well into recovery and just needed a few missing pieces that MB helped provide.


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...folks who show up here every day who know alot about Marriage Builders....who knows the program and is willing to help others ....all "vets."

I think there is a further element required that is deucedly hard to define - for simplicity let me define it as "knowledgeable empathy".

It is the paired abilities to be totally versed in the MB Principles and have the sixth sense to understand the difficulties that the "clients" are having in understanding and applying them to their own situation, and re-presenting the concepts back to them in terms specifically applicable to that situation.

In other words, it's not enough to state, "Mr XYZ, here is the appropriate MB citation." What makes a true vet is the skill/confidence to state, "Here is the MB citation, and here is why it works, and can be best applied in the XYZ marital issue."

This lays along Bloom's Taxonomy (Knowledge, Comprehension, Application, Analysis, Synthesis, Evaluation), btw.

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