Hosea 2:10 - Now I will uncover her lewdness in the sight of her lovers, and no one shall rescue her out of my hand.

EXPOSE this to the light of day and by Saturday you can be at the movies with her.

EXPOSE tonight to OMW. Just call, or stop by, or somehow contact her and your wife can then be all yours.

Right now she is none of yours. She is his!!!

Emphasis mine.

Thank you for posting this, americajin.

rj, I don't know if you want a FWW perspective or not, but I was thinking pretty much exactly what aj posted above.

I can't speak from experience as a BS, but I wonder if it's easier to "stand up and take it like a man" w/ this - that you have to be tough, and it's all a game of cat-and-mouse to catch your W... And you're choosing to do that instead of examine the larger ramifications of this? I don't know. And it doesn't really matter, not to me. It will to you.

"Catching" your WW is not going to make any of this easier. It's not a magic button, one where you push it and the hard part is over. I'm sorry to say that this is the easy part. The recovery - whether it be personal or marital or both - is the hard part.

And no matter what happens w/ catching your WW, that recovery is still there to face. All of the emotions and consequences that come with such betrayal are still there waiting to be dealt with.

Instead of fixating on catching her, I would recommend you gather your evidence - hard evidence is nice, but what you have is more than enough - and work a plan. Expose, NC, the whole deal.

But that's just my opinion.

I don't get this, rj. You have the calls and texts. You have dates and times. You want to wait for OM to get her pregnant? Is THAT the hard proof you're waiting on??

EXPOSE this!

And btw - what happened with the PI you had the appointment with yesterday?

rj seems to be level headed with what he is doing. I'm going to trust that there may be some pictures involved in exposing this as irrefutable proof.

Keep in mind that images can be seared into your own memory and make recovery difficult FOR YOU.

A BS has the hardest time a few months after recovery begins. Images caught on film could really hinder your ability to recover.

So I say that if you have enough proof that you can press with the exposure. It won't take much more than a few intimate emails or texts to convince the OMW.

So gather your evidence but don't wait forever.

Expect all kinds of he77 to come down on you when you finally do expose.

Hi all,

Thanks for the comments. All valid but I need something better to stand on. WW is a very tough cookie and she's great at denial(always has been). Besides I really don't think she knows that I know. She just thinks she's got it down pat.

On the texts I have times and dates but no actual texts. PI is working on that as well as tracking her vehicle. Last couple nights she has forgotten to delete their last text exchange so I have seen those and she is starting to get sloppy. I should have what I need soon.

On the STD's I have reason to believe they are not protecting themselves (but she is still making me wear a condom, thankfully). I am scheduling an appointment for bloodwork and will include STD testing.

I hear you guys and appreciate your input. Please keep being straight with me. I need that.

Now in the meantime I need to prepare myself for exposure. I've had suggestions to expose to just OMW and also to everyone on each of their contact lists. That's a pretty big spread. I'm thinking OMW, WW's sister and mother, POSOM's boss and WW's boss. That way if she's goes straight to the divorce option I can tell her that right now only a few people know. If it goes to divorce it will be on public record and everyone in our small town and the surrounding communities will know. Hopefully that angle will bring her around. As to the bosses, this started at work I think their needs to be pressure there to end this. WW's boss is a nice guy and will be very hurt but POSOM does not get along with his boss and that will be nuclear. I wouldn't be surprised if he demanded his resignation by the next day.

WW has always had anger issues but this is going to be ballistic when it happens. Talk to me about what to expect, how to handle it and the logistics of exposing to multiple parties in a very short period of time. In person vs email (WW's mom does not have email). Also the pecking order on who to expose to. Is WW 1st or last. Talk to me guys.

rj

Git'r done TODAY

This sounds like a good order. The important thing to remember is that once you start, do not stop until all calls, emails or visits have been made. After the first exposure to OMW, your phone might start ringing. IGNORE any attempts by your WW to stop you.

Expect: a very po'd WW, if she's like most, she will rant and rail and call you every name in the book, you'll be the reason that Texas has been in a drought all summer, you'll be the reason that the U.S. economy is in the tank. Stand firm. Don't back down. And whatever you do, don't argue back with her. If the confronts you red-faced and with steam coming out of her ears you're mantra is I am doing what is necessary to save our family. How 'bout them Cowboys?

Oh, and you don't start small and then threaten her with more exposure if she chooses divorce. That's not what exposure is about.

Now, what else? Oh yeah. Get started.

Thanks PM,

I fugure I'll have boss emails already written and ready to send. I'll vist OMW, I think that is only fair and right to do that in person. Then I'll trigger the emails and call WWs sister. Then head to her mother's house (again I don't want to do that by phone).

After all that is done then do I take her call? Or call her, meet her, what?

I understand PM that lives are already being destroyed but right now it is their actions (and yes to an extent my inaction)that is doing the destroying. I just can't destroy other people's lives without a little more to go on. Not a lot but something more. The PI told me the biggest thing he needs from me right now is patience. I'm trying to balance his professional advice with your expert advice. I'm not going to wait forever but as hard as it is (and it is really getting hard) I need to wait a little longer.

rj

Oh yeah, and is everybody in agreement on both bosses? Any reason not to? Cause that could be the clincher but also the killer. There's no stopping the train once it hits those two stops. Keeping it "in the families" just seems like an invitation to non-resolution. Am I right?

Thanks,
rj

you go full out with exposure, just keep saying I love you and I will do what I have to so I can save my marriage.
Let her fume, let it cause trouble that's what you want........
sit back and watch things go up in flames.......
don't let anything she does or says get to you........
It's all a process........patience and acting with integrity is key now, be loving and understanding.........but firm...........
jessi