This morning my H had to get up at 5 am to go to work. The alarm is on my side of the bed so I usually hit the snooze button and then wake him up. This morning I turned off the snooze alarm as usual and then rolled over to wake him up. For some reason I called him Steven which isn't his name. I know that I was dreaming about That 70s show for some reason and that is one of the characters. That is the only reason that I could give him when he asked about who Steven was. I don't even know a Steven.<P>Did I really screw up or what? Did I just throw away any trust he may have gained in me the last few weeks and months? Why did I call him by a different name? I feel like such and idiot of doing so. I just want to kick myself in the butt. How could I be sooo stupid.<P>Sorry just needed to get this off my chest.

Hopeful, see my reply to ES.<P>(I like That 70's Show too. )

I Love You Hopeful1771.

I know you love me but why do I feel so bad? Why do I just want to beat myself up for doing such an awful thing to my H? Will I ever be able to gain his trust again? <P>I guess I understand somewhat what my H is going through; having all these questions with no answers. Maybe this will make me realize that I need to answer more questions for my H. Maybe I should have my H write his questions down and I can start answering them asap.

hopeful<BR>Be a little kinder to yourself.<BR>Both of you are going through a toughstage right now but you are working together. That is a good thing. I won't even begin to tell you some of the stupid things my H has done along the way. What happened this morning was not something you chose to do.<BR>I think writing out the questions would be a good idea. You could even write out the answers for ES. My H did that once and it gave me a chance to understand a little.<BR>You feel bad because you want to make him happy. That's a GREAT thing. You care about how he feels.

I want to be able to answer all of questions. But what happens if I answer all the questions that he has and he doesn't like the answers or the answers I give don't answer his question fully so that he can understand.? What happens if my answers are not what he wants to hear? I'm just afraid that I'm not going to be able to answer all of his questions fully and completely. I hate feeling this way. I just wish I could change so that my h will trust me more. He doesn't need to change. He is a loving h and father and seems to be everything right to save our marriage.

hopeful<BR>You answer honestly. You are looking to build trust here. You are not looking for the best answer. My H does that. He gives me an answer that he thinks will not upset me. <BR>If you are prepared to give honest answers then I'm sure that ES will be quite happy to accept them! <BR>Don't worry about how he will react to the answers. That is out of your control. The only way to build trust is with honesty.<BR>I sometimes wish my H would give me an answer that I didn't like. I think then I would believe him. An honest answer sometimes hurts but it is far better than lying to protect!!!

Boy oh Boy ... how many times have I been talking in my sleep, half awake to hear what I'm saying that's making no sense.<P>Like the time I told my H the screwdrivers were lining up on the floor, side by side.<P>I think you guys are making a TON more out of this than it really there. ESPECIALLY if you don't know a Stephen anyway.<P>Give yourselves a ding dang dong break!<P><p>[This message has been edited by Maya (edited August 19, 1999).]

Hopeful, It may mean nothing. Several years ago My W was trying to wake me up and I called her Nancy. The problem was I don't know anyone named nancy. Perhaps you are reading too much into this.....

Just posting here with your thoughts and feelings are going to be extremely helpful to the healing process. It will help you to sort them all out and understand what you did, why you did it, and how you can prevent it from happening again.<P>You need to understand your H (most likely) doesn't want you to become something for him. He wants you to be yourself, to understand who you really are. The person he married is the person he wants you to be. Yes we all change over time, but if we understand this and learn to adjust to the changes in each other, then a relationship can do nothing but grow and grow.<P>Keep strong! It's not gonna get better overnight. You're both doing great!<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

Why don't I feel like I'm doing great? Why do I still feel like a loser?

You have to feel the emotions and process them. It'll take some time for you to really feel what's inside and why you are feeling like you do. I'd be worried if you didn't feel like crap.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>