Hope,

Just learning had an amazing post on ComicTragedies thread concerning "Self Esteem".

Many times people come to the forums and talk about the "Low Self Esteem" and how that is creating so many problems in their lives. They should have, could have, or would have if they just had higher self esteem.

Just learning discussed self esteem in terms of values. One lives by these values. They define who and what we are in terms of character.

Often times in marriage one will look around to determine their low self esteem caused them to have all these problems without realizing "Self and Esteem" are really a basis for telling us we aren't living our values.

If you live your values then you hold yourself in High esteem. By failing to adhere to them is when you begin to find yourself in self loathing.

There really isn't much more to it.

We can understand the hurt you feel which is the direct result of your WH's actions. We have all been there. That hurt doesn't define who you are or what you are about, and it certainly doesn't define your values.

Peachy, back in June you said:

It's okay that you've changed your mind, but this is quote is what made me believe that you desired to exchange email addresses with me. I did ask a mod to provide you with my email back in June.

Take care, Peachy. You're one in a million.

Well I also learned of what I wrote about earlier and just backed off of that.

But I do mean all that I have said to you, with regard to your personal recovery and good steps to take in the future. I just think it is wise, knowing what I do, that my advice remains here on MB. Thanks.

and do as IITL says! Try to apply right now the plan A principles TO YOURSELF. That's what helped me begin the long process of self-recovery. You don't know what will happen yet. This long road could lead to amazing success, but you gotta do the hard work. Unlike dealing with an unrepentant wayward, when you invest 100% effort into healing and reclaiming your life and self-esteem, YOU WIN AND YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT. You get that outcome you want. You entered this fight and will come out the other side a true winner.

But the hard work applies to now yourself and what you, yourself implement. Never, ever, ever give up ok? God DOES have a better future for you. I know He does!

Try maybe going to the divorced/divorcing forum. I believe there is amazing help and support there. Truly those folks also helped me too.

I have been labelled as a person who is dishonest or doing something harmful to MB. I cannot acquit myself of these allegations because nothing I say seems to be believed, but I do wish you the best of all possible futures.

H&G, I read on the rants thread that you have entered a true Plan B once again. Is there anything I can advise you on for a darker Plan B? Have you been feeling any of the benefits of a dark Plan B? Have you had any problems staying dark?