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crap has hit the fan.
here is what she has txt me so far
I dont wanna be with him now I dont want u either. U know me and your councelor advice will not work with me.
I love my girls and I NEVER thought talking to OM was more important than my girls- they are my life. Consider us divorced. I have NO love for u NONE
So we need to figure out living arrangements. NOW
I do not want to see you or talk to you.
What did councel say Id be angry and then fall at you feet in love with u? I am not that type of person you know that. I have a large amt of hate for u. However I will not try to hurt you in the divorce proceedings....and yes I am keeping all my texts btwn you and I for future presentations. I want you to know I was fighting this battle in my mind...who do I love , who do I care about..Well I dont know if you got that song this morning before you set the bomb off, but that song made me realize what I was to you and vice versa...Now it means nothing and worthless in my heart. so go tell your councelor it didn;t work. Now what? Nothing. I don;t want us ever again.
END OF TXT MSGS
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So now I am completely lost on how to proceed from here - i know not to talk about divorce. Only talk about rebuilding marriage. HELP ME WEATHER THIS STORM. She will be home from swim meet in about 2hr I am guessing and I need to delete this site from web history!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH and how can I Priv Msg someone here. I tried the other day and it said it was "disabled" ?????
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You have to ask the mods to send the message. They dont allow PM's on here.
Stay calm and tell her you will not talk abou Divorce. You are sorry she is upset but all you did was tell the truth. You love her and want to restore your marriage but cant do it with a 3rd party involved.
MB or ML will be here in a sec to give you more advice. Dont pannic. We told you almost word for word what she would say. It is always the same.
Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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That is great!!! She is uber mad so that means you have effectively hit the target. Be sure and COMPLETE your exposures. Tell her you will not tolerate her affair and demand she end all contact. Tell her this will lead to divorce otherwise and you will file on grounds of adultery and ask for primary custody and possession of the house.
Paint a very ugly picture!
Tell her you felt like everyone should know about her affair and are just spreading the news. Be polite but FIRM.
You are doing great!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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"So we need to figure out living arrangements. NOW"
Tell her you have nothing to figure out because you are not going anywhere.
Did you do all of your exposures? Did you tell your children about her affair? I would do all that today.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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P.s. Even if you live in a state with no fault divorce they typically do take adultery into account. And CALM DOWN! Her anger only means you inflicted a great blow to the affair. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Sounds like you sank her battleship, MrA. Nicely done!
Let me guess: She was going to work on the marriage, but that's all over now! Or how about:
Now you've done it - if you thought exposure would help you were wrong and now we're finished!
Blahblahblah. Mindless ranting of a wayward who has been exposed. Stay calm and do not allow her to bait you into an argument. Tell her that she is free to go if that is her decision. You can't stop her. HOWEVER: She is NOT TAKING YOUR CHILDREN WITH HER.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Your wifes reaction is so predictable as well as her responses, u should feel confident now that you see that shes following a script.
FBH 34 me,FWW 34,
DS 14, OC-D 12 (given up for adoption), DS-8, DD-5
D-Day#1 10-12-1998
D-Day#2 2-10-2008
Recovered!
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Dont leave your home
Dont leave your home
Dont leave your home period!
FBH 34 me,FWW 34,
DS 14, OC-D 12 (given up for adoption), DS-8, DD-5
D-Day#1 10-12-1998
D-Day#2 2-10-2008
Recovered!
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Sounds like you sank her battleship, MrA. Nicely done!
Let me guess: She was going to work on the marriage, but that's all over now! Or how about:
Now you've done it - if you thought exposure would help you were wrong and now we're finished! . Almost word for word!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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DO NOT let her intimidate you. My wife did exactly the same thing. She told me I was nuts, psycho, deranged. She wanted out, she wanted me gone, she wanted me hurt.
And then the tonne of bricks came down on her. Her parents, her friends, her OM running the other way.
Stay calm, this is the best weapon you have. It will very likely kill this thing forever. Listen to Mel, and set the bar high.
Stand up for yourself - no talk of divorce, moving out, none of it.
Great job! Welcome to the other side of taking control of your life!
FBH,Dad
No half measures, in anything.
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Good to hear from you, Reynolds! I'm glad you're following MrA's thread. It's good for him to hear from a formerly betrayed husband who went through something similar to his sitch and saved your M. Heck, I'm so glad to see you posting here that I'm not even going to ridicule the way you foreigners spell "ton"!
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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I got exposures out best I could. OM mom, sister, 3 or 4 friends. internet sucks. phone batt almost dead. I would like to do more but am running out of time with slow internet. OM hides his friends on FB and only shows mutual friends. that sucks. OM GF was glad I called. she is getting her stuff out today. said he is extremely controlling and they have had on/off relationship for almost 2yrs. berates her son. I will not allow this man around my kids!!! many of her BF's all children except DD15 that is with her at swim meet.  All parents know. rite now she wants to know where other kids are at. they are at grandmas by the way. she said she expects them to be home when she gets there. If she takes, should I be prepared to call police?
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Get your kids from grandma's now, so she can't get them first.
Do NOT allow those kids to leave the house. DD15 is yours, not hers, correct? No one leaves the house!
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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I got exposures out best I could. OM mom, sister, 3 or 4 friends. internet sucks. phone batt almost dead. I would like to do more but am running out of time with slow internet. OM hides his friends
rite now she wants to know where other kids are at. they are at grandmas by the way. she said she expects them to be home when she gets there. If she takes, should I be prepared to call police? Are they at your mothers? If so, I would leave them there. Let her know she won't be taking your kids without a court order. The OM has a girlfriend?? That is awesome!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Are they at your mothers? If so, I would leave them there. Let her know she won't be taking your kids without a court order. ITA with this. My only concern is that he told WW the kids are there. MrA, will your parents refuse to allow her to take the kids if she goes there and tries to get them?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Kids are at my moms. Her mom was not happy at all and very supportive of me. I assume she doesn't want to face either parents 
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Amazed,
Linda Blair will be home soon with a gut full of pea soup. Be ready, and prepare yourself to stay calm, calm, calm. NO AO's...do not allow yourself to be baited. She will be (is) ready for a major fight. No, no, no.
And....DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOME.
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DD15 is not biologically mine. Been with me since 6 though and she is "mine" and calls me dad and her bio by his 1st name. he is a loser and lives in spain.
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Amazed,
Linda Blair will be home soon with a gut full of pea soup. Be ready, and prepare yourself to stay calm, calm, calm. NO AO's...do not allow yourself to be baited. She will be (is) ready for a major fight. No, no, no.
And....DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOME. AO's?
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Will your mom absolutely NOT let her take kids? Can they go to a movie or something? I dunno, but seems that if WW goes to pick up kids at your mom's, your mom can't stop her, am I correct? She's going to have NOWHERE to go, tell or get support from it seems. This is a good thing. OM is likely enjoying a serene evening with his GF.
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