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ok now this may not be the soothing soul music, but put it on in the car and scream. it has made me feel better.
didnt know the second one has references to Platos allegory The Cave-
Me 44- yes ugggh WH 47 together 26 years M 19 serial cheater big time DD1 2.24.11 NC letter sent 3/7/11 NC letter to OW2 april final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18 working the plan
You didn't ask for this Nobody ever would Caught in the middle of this dysfunction It's yoursad reality It's your messed up family tree And all your left with all these questions
Are you gonna be like your father was and his father was? Do you have to carry what they've handed down?
No, this is not your legacy This is not your destiny Yesterday does not define you No, this is not your legacy This is not your meant to be I can break the chains that bind you
I have a dream for you It's better than where you've been It's bigger than your imagination You're gonna find real love And you're gonna hold your kids You'll change the course of generations
No, this is not your legacy This is not your destiny Yesterday does not define you No, this is not your legacy This is not your meant to be I can break the chains that bind you
Cause you're my child You're my chosen You are loved You are loved
And I will restore All that was broken You are loved You are loved
And just like the seasons change Winter into spring You're brining new life to your family tree now Yes you are You are
No, this will be your legacy This will be your destiny Yesterday did not define you No, this will be your legacy This will be your meant to be I can break the chains that bind you
And just like the seasons change Winter into spring You're brining new life to your family tree now
Music is so powerful. I was looking at lyrics to some songs I liked to listen to when I was in the depths of my pain and misery of being told by my XWW that she didn't love me anymore. The sadness... the desperation...
Shame- Stabbing Westward
I only see myself reflected in your eyes So all that I believe I am essentially are lies And everything I've hoped to be or ever thought I was Died with your belief in me so who the hell am I?
I'm wondering 'round confused Wondering why I try The more that you deny my pain The more it intensifies... I pray for someone to ache for me the way I ache for you... If you ignore that I'm alive I've nothing to cling to
I stare into this mirror So tired of this life If only you would speak to me or care if I'm alive Once I swore I would die for you But I never meant it like this I never meant like this no i never meant like this
I don't know if I'm real without you What is left of me without you? I don't know whats real without you How can I exist without you?
ETA- I think these songs capture the feelings of sadness and frustration I felt during my long and unrecognized Plan A.
Another one from Stabbing Westward along those lines....
What do I have to do?
You make it hard to breathe Its as if Im suffocating And when youre next to me I can feel your heartbeat through my skin It makes me sad to think This all could be for nothing I wish there was a way For you to see inside of me Ive never felt this way About anyone or anything Tell me What do I have to do to make you happy? What do I have to do to make you understand? What do I have to do to make you want me? And, if I cant make you want me What do I have to do?
I know exactly what youre thinking But I swear this time I will not let you down Im not as selfish as I used to be That was a part of me that never made me proud Right now I think I would try anything Anything at all to keep you satisfied God I hope you see what loving you would do to me All I want is one more chance, so tell me... What do I have to do to make you love me?
She calls me goliath and I wear the david mask I guess the stones are coming too fast for her now You know Id like to believe this nervousness will pass All the stones that are thrown are building up a wall I have become cumbersome to this world I have become cumbersome to my girl
Id like to believe we could reconcile the past Resurrect those bridges with an ancient glance But my old stone face cant seem to break her down She remembers bridges, burns them to the ground I have become cumbersome to this world I have become cumbersome to this girl
Too heavy too light, too black or too white, too wrong or too right, today or tonight Cumbersome Too rich too poor, shes wanting me less and Im wanting her more The bitter taste is cumbersome
There is a balance between two worlds One with an arrow and a cross Regardless of the balance life has become Cumbersome
- To all you BS's out there, the pain will pass. It is so good to be out of the darkness of uncertainty.
<snip>I know exactly what youre thinking But I swear this time I will not let you down Im not as selfish as I used to be That was a part of me that never made me proud Right now I think I would try anything Anything at all to keep you satisfied God I hope you see what loving you would do to me All I want is one more chance, so tell me... What do I have to do to make you love me?
I remember listening to Stabbing Westward when I was in college. I know I am not a BS, but I downloaded this song just this past Feb b/c it made me think of my H. Those first 4 lines above really resonate with me as a FWW.
This one is on my playlist too:
Notbroken - by the Goo Goo Dolls
All I waited for was a chance to make you understand And tell you these forgotten truths you never thought were real And if the world should turn its back, you know that I'm still here
Time won't ever steal my soul, we're not broken So please come home
Morning comes and life moves on And when it changed you didn't know you belong And I'll still catch you when you fall through a past that steals your sleep And scroll these words upon your wall remind you to believe
Time won't ever steal my soul, we're not broken So please come home And if the world has worn you down I'll be waiting So please come home
I won't let them break you down and I won't hear the empty sounds I'm hopelessly pretending that I know the answer Angel's light and neon fires that burn so cold through your desires And all you are is all I need to know
When the world is insane You get used to the pain and you don't even know what you feel And I am like you, all alone and confused But you know it's not forever
Time won't ever steal my soul and we're not broken So please come home And if the world has worn you down I'll be waiting So please come home
FWW
"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough." ~ Earl Wilson
ITA, SOL...music has always been huge for me. I started playing piano 30 years ago and then I was a band geek from middle school through my first couple years in college. It's been a part of my life for a long time.
A lot of what I post is colored by my own failed recovery and may or may not be appropriate for BS's...but to me, personally, this song speaks of love fought for and lost, and for me, my failed recovery.
Stone Sour - "Hesitate"
You were my fire So I burned Til there was nothing left of me I touched your face I held you close Til I could barely breathe
Why give me hope Then give me up Just to be the death of me Save the rest of me
Cuz I see you But I can't feel you Anymore So go away I need you But I can't need you Anymore You hesitate
Now and then You come around Like there's something left for me We were one We were everything I'm still here But I'll just keep the rest of me
Cuz I see you But I can't feel you Anymore So go away I need you But I can't need you Anymore You hesitate
We never made it You hesitated I don't believe
That I see you But I can't feel you Anymore So go away I need you But I can't need you Anymore You hesitate Cuz I see you (See you) But I can't feel you (Feel you) Anymore So go away I need you (Need you) But I can't need you (Need you) Anymore You hesitate Hesitate
(You were my fire) (So I burned) (Now there's nothing left of me)
FWW
"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough." ~ Earl Wilson
-For all those in plan B Romans 12:19-21 "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written; 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary; 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink, In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Me = BH DDay Dec. 2010 D filed Oct 2011 (by me) D final 3/16/12
Songs are so powerful, and healing. There are some I cry to, and some I scream, to make me feel better. Pep thinks my music tastes are too LOUD. I agree, but that's the way I like it.
Songs are so powerful, and healing. There are some I cry to, and some I scream, to make me feel better. Pep thinks my music tastes are too LOUD. I agree, but that's the way I like it.
Right?
I like music across the spectrum. Side effect of a former band geek.
One-two punch;
All That Remains - The Air that I Breathe
I will not relent no no Never live with defeat, never falter It's like the air that I breathe(like the air I breathe) I will not choke on failure Cause I will not choke on failure
I am a mortal man But I'm not falling, I'm not broken yet I am a mortal man But I hold tight to my beliefs now
I have suffered defeat, pain, loss Still I push to the edge, never falter For this cements my beliefs (this cements my beliefs) I'll remain my own master
I will not relent no no Never suffer defeat, never falter For this cements my beliefs (this cements my beliefs) I will not choke on failure
I am a mortal man But I'm not falling I'm not broken yet I am a mortal man But I hold tight to my beliefs now
I am a mortal man But I'm not falling I'm not broken yet I am a mortal man But I hold tight to my beliefs now
I will not relent I will not relent, no no I will not relent Never suffer defeat never falter I will not relent, no no
Never suffer Never falter I will not relent, no no Never suffer Never falter
... er... nevermind the two here.
>.<
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
This is one of the first songs that really had an impact about how I was feeling after my wife left
Lost -by- Killswitch Engage
It's even louder in the silence and it's always the same The darkness always finds me when I hear your name It should have been me and I want you to know That I'll hold you in my heart and I won't let go Just take away this sorrow it's too much to bear
Drifting from your memory. I'm lost, lost without your love
Now the time goes by, but the torment remains If only I could wake and see your face again There would no more regret for all the things I never said
Drifting from your memory. I'm lost, without your love It's getting harder to face another day without you I'm lost, lost without your love
I wish as I was as strong as you were in the end But the darkness claims me, and I fall once again
Drifting from your memory. I'm lost, without your love It's getting harder to face another day without you I'm lost, without your love It's getting harder to face another day without you Lost
BH:28 WW:35 Married 4/28/07 SD-8 DS-2 D-Day 5/20/11, also day she officially left me EA started Apr '11 PA started Jun '11 FR 9/14/11
I'm grateful I have moved past screaming along to Alanis Morissette's "You oughta know".
Shortly after dday 3 during the angry stage my sister told to listen to "Break Stuff". (warning, explicit lyrics!) I have also moved on from that stage too thankfully!
Right now, I listen to Eminem's "Not Afraid" probably daily. (Again, explicit lyrics.) Probably good for Plan B & D ers. It's funny how different music can resonate with you depending on what you are going through. If you had told me a year ago I would be listening to this kind of music, I would have laughed! Nothing at all what I usually listen to!
And I just can't keep living this way So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons I'm manning up, I'ma hold my ground I've had enough, now I'm so fed up Time to put my life back together right now
Another song that I have come to love that has helped me have the strength to fight the A with all my power, and it is almost like an anthem for those of us in Plan A.
Courageous by Casting Crowns
We were made to be courageous We were made to lead the way We could be the generation That finally breaks the chains We were made to be courageous We were made to be courageous
We were warriors on the front lines Standing, unafraid But now we're watchers on the sidelines While our families slip away
Where are you, men of courage? You were made for so much more Let the pounding of our hearts cry We will serve the Lord
We were made to be courageous And we're taking back the fight We were made to be courageous And it starts with us tonight
The only way we'll ever stand Is on our knees with lifted hands Make us courageous Lord, make us courageous
This is our resolution Our answer to the call We will love our wives and children We refuse to let them fall
We will reignite the passion That we buried deep inside May the watchers become warriors Let the men of God arise
We were made to be courageous And we're taking back the fight We were made to be courageous And it starts with us tonight
The only way we'll ever stand Is on our knees with lifted hands Make us courageous Lord, make us courageous
Seek justice Love mercy Walk humbly with your God
In the war of the mind I will make my stand In the battle of the heart And the battle of the hand
In the war of the mind I will make my stand In the battle of the heart And the battle of the hand
We were made to be courageous And we're taking back the fight We were made to be courageous And it starts with us tonight
The only way we'll ever stand Is on our knees with lifted hands Make us courageous Lord, make us courageous
We were made to be courageous Lord, make us courageous
BH:28 WW:35 Married 4/28/07 SD-8 DS-2 D-Day 5/20/11, also day she officially left me EA started Apr '11 PA started Jun '11 FR 9/14/11
We were made to be courageous Lord, make us courageous
I Pray Lord.....
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORY WW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!.....as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!! "Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
Last edited by MBLBanker; 10/26/1103:52 AM. Reason: TOS: removing link re non-MB material
BW - me 30 WH 34 Married 8 years, together 12 years DS 6, DS 1 D-Day1-5 Feb 2011-I was 8 month pregnant,-D-day2-April 2011, D-day3-5 August 2011 Separated June to August, WH came back for a week, but couldn't make it and moved out. Came back home 12 September after I spoke to his boss and "blackmailed" him. Plan A - 12 to 25 Sept Plan B - 26 Sept - 26 October Another FR 26 October - 16 March Plan B - 16 March to July 2012 coexisting since then OW still in the picture
I agree, but that's the way I like it.
