Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 4 of 5 1 2 3 4 5
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
DG, I am very concerned that your WW and SIL are not taking your calls. I would call them and let them know that you are planning to contact the police department in that city to ask them to do a welfare check on the two of them. That might get them to return your call so you can find out what's going on.

I would personally call your main exposure targets today and speak with each of them. Ask them to use their influence with WW to help end the affair. While you sit idle, your WW is spinning your marital history to make you the bad guy.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
D
DG23 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
All of her family members and close friends that I speak with know about what is going on and have tried to get her to end the A. I will contact them again and re-expose and she only has a few friends on FB that I don't know or speak to so exposure to them will not take long. What is the best way to expose and also explain her spinning our marriage and speak about the abuse?


BH:28
WW:35
Married 4/28/07
SD-8
DS-2
D-Day 5/20/11, also day she officially left me
EA started Apr '11
PA started Jun '11
FR 9/14/11
DG23 #2553954 10/16/11 06:39 PM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
D
DG23 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
I re-exposed to her family and the close friends. I did stir the pot a little today by calling the PD where she filed the assault charges and told them where they could find him, now just waiting on the phone call from a very torked off WW that I was trying to get POSOM a new set of silver bracelets.


BH:28
WW:35
Married 4/28/07
SD-8
DS-2
D-Day 5/20/11, also day she officially left me
EA started Apr '11
PA started Jun '11
FR 9/14/11
DG23 #2554036 10/16/11 10:27 PM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
D
DG23 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
Ok...so I'm going to Nuke this once and for all, I want to start exposing to OM's family and friends, and almost all of those people are on FB, tomorrow night after I get home from work and into Tuesday morning. Can someone give me some pointers or a sample to use for exposure? I could really use all the help I can get right now.


BH:28
WW:35
Married 4/28/07
SD-8
DS-2
D-Day 5/20/11, also day she officially left me
EA started Apr '11
PA started Jun '11
FR 9/14/11
DG23 #2558530 10/28/11 07:09 AM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
D
DG23 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
Well, she got back from Vegas and ran right back to him, she was waffling between wanting to still be friends and saying she's done with him. I finally was able to access my account for the phone and wonder if I should go ahead and block his # and his mom's #. Also, she changed her Fb password and blocked me and unblocked/added POSOM. I changed her password on her email and Fb again and unblocked my profile. I sent her a message yesterday that told her that My son and I would be alright without her and that I am probably going to shut her phone off not to expect any help from me when the bank comes and repos her car which the loan is in my name and since my credit is already jacked, I really don't care at this point I am no longer funding her A. I am going to call my lawyer today and have them go ahead and file the exparte custody order of my son until I can get the rest of my D papers filled out.

I still haven't exposed to a few of her friends that I don't know. Should I stay plan A or go plan B? I do love her and want nothing more than to work out our M, but I need to protect myself and my DS.

She did file charges against POSOM and her dumb a$$ took him up to see his lawyer and the lawyer told him that he would get 1-3 years if WW didn't show to court and 3-5+ if WW did show to testify.


BH:28
WW:35
Married 4/28/07
SD-8
DS-2
D-Day 5/20/11, also day she officially left me
EA started Apr '11
PA started Jun '11
FR 9/14/11
DG23 #2558534 10/28/11 07:49 AM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Make sure you did the widest exposure possible.

Great that you cut off the money.

Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495
Originally Posted by TheRoad
Make sure you did the widest exposure possible.

Great that you cut off the money.

Sounds like you'll be in [url=http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html][/url] plan B now. Get a letter together for that. You will need to tell her that despite the fact you love her, you cannot have contact with her until she commits to no contact for life and implements EPs.

Another thing to consider is filing bankruptcy. A chapter 7 will clear your credit and relieve some of your debt. It will also leave her financially responsible for any credit cards or bills her name is on. It's another good way for her to feel the brunt of her decisions.

CV


Celtic Voyager
Married 22+ years
3 young adult children


"A story of me"
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495


Celtic Voyager
Married 22+ years
3 young adult children


"A story of me"
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
D
DG23 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
Thank you for that, now should I block his phone # from her phone I mean it is in my name and all and her grandmother is paying for her part of the bill I already blocked it so she can't send picture messages or use the data on the phone


BH:28
WW:35
Married 4/28/07
SD-8
DS-2
D-Day 5/20/11, also day she officially left me
EA started Apr '11
PA started Jun '11
FR 9/14/11
DG23 #2558596 10/28/11 10:04 AM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
If the phone is in your name you should block the number. If she doesn't like it her grandmother can buy another phone for her and pay for the whole thing.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495
Originally Posted by maritalbliss
If the phone is in your name you should block the number. If she doesn't like it her grandmother can buy another phone for her and pay for the whole thing.

I would cancel her phone altogether. If she wants to be with OM, let him get her one.



Celtic Voyager
Married 22+ years
3 young adult children


"A story of me"
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
D
DG23 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
I'll block it tonight when I get home from work. Her grandmother will not buy her another phone as she is fuming pi$$ed at her right now. Ww told her and my SD that she would be coming to stay there and she has yet to show up or call. So I guess that would mean POSOM would have to pay for a phone for her and if she wants to keep her car then he can give the $ for it to her grandmother so it can be made. She told me yesterday that she doesn't need a man or anyone else to support her...I just laughed


BH:28
WW:35
Married 4/28/07
SD-8
DS-2
D-Day 5/20/11, also day she officially left me
EA started Apr '11
PA started Jun '11
FR 9/14/11
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Originally Posted by celticvoyager
Originally Posted by maritalbliss
If the phone is in your name you should block the number. If she doesn't like it her grandmother can buy another phone for her and pay for the whole thing.

I would cancel her phone altogether. If she wants to be with OM, let him get her one.
Even better.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
ITA, get rid of that phone, and let the grandmother know that your WW was using that phone to contact OM.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
DG23 #2558652 10/28/11 12:13 PM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Quote
So I guess that would mean POSOM would have to pay for a phone for her and if she wants to keep her car then he can give the $ for it to her grandmother so it can be made.
Is the car in your name? Who's making the car payments?


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
D
DG23 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
Loan is in mine registration is in hers, but the bank said that when its paid off (May '12) I could have the title put in my name only.


BH:28
WW:35
Married 4/28/07
SD-8
DS-2
D-Day 5/20/11, also day she officially left me
EA started Apr '11
PA started Jun '11
FR 9/14/11
DG23 #2558702 10/28/11 01:30 PM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
D
DG23 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
Well she just asked me if I turned her internet off on her phone, I haven't responded because I'm afraid I'll say something bad to her. How should I approach this? If she gets mad about this, wait til she realizes I changed her password for her email and Fb!


BH:28
WW:35
Married 4/28/07
SD-8
DS-2
D-Day 5/20/11, also day she officially left me
EA started Apr '11
PA started Jun '11
FR 9/14/11
DG23 #2558724 10/28/11 02:07 PM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Originally Posted by DG23
Well she just asked me if I turned her internet off on her phone, I haven't responded because I'm afraid I'll say something bad to her. How should I approach this? If she gets mad about this, wait til she realizes I changed her password for her email and Fb!
She's probably figuring that out right now.

"I will not finance your affair in any way, and that includes a cell phone for talking to OM. You'll need to make cell phone arrangements for yourself from now on."

I mean, did she really expect you to do otherwise? Does she think you're a doormat, or something? Crazy waywards... crazy


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
D
DG23 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 48
I just sent her that message and blocked it to where her calls are forwarded to my voicemail


BH:28
WW:35
Married 4/28/07
SD-8
DS-2
D-Day 5/20/11, also day she officially left me
EA started Apr '11
PA started Jun '11
FR 9/14/11
DG23 #2558732 10/28/11 02:29 PM
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495
Originally Posted by DG23
Loan is in mine registration is in hers, but the bank said that when its paid off (May '12) I could have the title put in my name only.

It's actually better for your credit to contact the holder for the title of the car (bank or whoever) and tell them you are returning the vehicle rather than defaulting on the loan.


Celtic Voyager
Married 22+ years
3 young adult children


"A story of me"
Page 4 of 5 1 2 3 4 5

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 120 guests, and 52 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
annonymous, Robert Robertson, Myramillan, rufaia1231, esenlee
71,888 Registered Users
Latest Posts
20 appointments and $1000’s later…
by IrishGreen - 10/30/24 07:20 PM
Happening again
by jah - 10/29/24 11:00 AM
I grounded my wife - am I proceeding correctly?
by Mature - 10/27/24 03:05 PM
Children
by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 04:02 PM
Can I become attracted to anyone?
by phinnino1 - 10/11/24 08:57 AM
MBRadio show discussing electric fence pers.
by phinnino1 - 10/11/24 08:55 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,614
Posts2,323,458
Members71,888
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5