I guess the Bible is pretty harsh then, too.


Sometimes it takes a hedge of thorns, and hitting the wall, before a wayward is ready to turn their life around.

you know, I think reality is beggining to bite them already, this past Sunday a friend of mine called me to tell me that she had just seen WS with OW, when she came to my place later to discuss the issue, I asked her what they were doing, in my mind I imagined that they were strolling, like lovers in lovers lane, to my surprise, my friend laughed so loud she almost choked, according to her they were walking so fast, WS almost dragging OP by the hand, both of them looking so serious, that night WS confessed probably without realising who he was talking to, that he is beginning to verbally abuse OW, all she does is give him a dirty look. Looks like the exposure did some good after all.

Trust the MB process.

thanks to you all for the encouraging wise words, I think I will sleep much better tonight.

2 days left to go, I have mixed feelings, last night WS wanted to cuddle with me, ( actually he wanted to do more than just cuddle ) as much as I have been trying not to LB and be as loving and co-operative as possible, I couldn't go beyond cuddling, this past Saturday was a defining moment for me, I didn't mention this, but I actually pleaded WS not to go and see OW, I poured out my heart to him, I took every bit of energy I had for him see how much we need him, I even went to the extent of locking him in, ofcourse that really upset him, he told me I couldn't stop him from seeing the OW, and he would only go for a few hours and promised to come be with us, so I let him go, WS came hom the next evening, thats when I attempted to kick him out and LB'ed really bad, since then I've been struggling to forgive him.

I've been fighting the urges not to LB, I do everything else for him besides being intimate with him, I know I should but I cant find it within myself to, I think I actually gave up that Saturday. Happyheart I always think of your words, (scrap together the last bits of love you have left) trust me I do want to but just cant go as far as being intimate with him.

WS's p...s looks so sick and pathetic, I got a gut feeling that he stoped using condoms on OW, his p...s just does'nt look the same anymore. The thought of being intimate with him is so traumatising for me now more than it was before, I dont know why.

last night before going to bed I read the FR thread pep suggested, alot of good pointers to learn from, its terrible to see what we BS go through, although I know the effort is worth it in the long run, I also liked the statement about BS raising the bar higher.

I couldn't help but my heart hardened towards WS when I read one particular post about how the WS hopes to still be friends and have S.. for old times sake, that rang a bell becuase my WS also says the same, he would convince me that there was no need to stop our friendship and all that, and we need to set an example to others, at that point I didnt know what to think about it so I wouldnt say much.

So reflecting on what I had read, I politely mentioned to WS that if our separation would lead to D, he would lose my friendship completely, he asked even if he'd prove that he reformed, I said yes even that, because you willingly chose to continue this A despite warnings from so many ppl for you stop, again those are the consequences you'll hv to pay for yr actions. you chose the A not me.

WS was so disturbed by that he couldn't sleep last night. I think he only had 2 hrs sleep and he had to wake up for work. I dont feel guilty, I was only being honest with him.

That is good, if he is not sleeping well! And even better when he is having first problems already with OW. Points for you!

I think it is totally understandable if you tell him, that you cannot have SF with him as long as he is having an affair with OW.

He could start setting an example for other people himself by not having an affair. He must be deeeeply in the fog. Really nice if selfish people set standards for other people, that they themselves do not have to meet.

You are doing the right thing here, even if you are the only one in your household at the moment.

2 more days, you can do it!

Strength and courage wishes

Happyheart

Wishing you strength and good luck with your GRAND FINALE today.

Are you going away on Sunday Morning, or do you fly in the afternoon? Do you have Plan B letter ready for tomorrow?

Well, formost, I hope you come through today with grace.

God bless,
Happyeart

Oh, and


to your son.

Happyheart

V1212,

Any updates? I am worried about you....

ba

Finally I have access to the internet again, I am not sure for how long. I missed you all on MB, I will cut my story into sections because it might be too long for some of you.

WS controlls his finances since meeting the OW, so we had a normal day on my sons birthday, nothing special, he claimed that he was broke.

On Sunday departure day, WS took us to the station, I took most of my stuff except the furniture and my work equipment, I made an agreement with WS before I left that he was to send my work equipment the following month, of which he had agreed to. We never really had much to say to each other that day, so he asked why I was so quiet so I told me that it was so sad that our home was breaking over his A. He tried to push all the blame on me as usual, shame on him.

Anyway I reminded him that I had left his letter at home inside the printer. On the journey I got a message from someone asking me how the journey was and if me and the boys managed to get good seats, I wondered who that was becuase WS took us to our seats, that message baffled me although I did not think much of it.

I enjoyed the 24hr journey, the scenery was so beautiful, anyway thru out the journey WS called on numerous occassions, I avoided his calls but handed them over to my son. The next day I received another message from the same number asking me how we were doing, but this time I recognised that the person that sent this particular message was WS, as I am familiar with his style of writing, he asked me to let him know how we were doing and once i do that he wont bother me again, then I asked who him to identify himself first, he responded by saying that he was using our mobile broadband number and I should just let him know how we doing. I ignored his message and asked my mom to let him know that we arrived safely.

When I contacted my friend she told me that the OW moved in the very day I left, I felt so hurt.

I started to think of the first message that was sent to me from our mobile broadband #, and I recognised tht the OW sent me that message, her style of messaging was the same as one of her emails she sent to WS. I felt so upset that she just doesnt know where to draw the line, even though I left she stil wants to interfer in my life. she has no respect for herself whatsoever.

According to my friend WS has not been home since Tue, it looks like he moved in with the OW, at this point I am kind of glad he did that, because atleast now, they will really get to know each others demons, no more pretending.

WS sent my SIL an email telling her how much he misses us, she told him it was not her problem as it was his choice to hv the affair and he chose the OW over his family. In my letter I mentioned to WS that if he needed to contact the children he ought to do that via my mothers phone as he was not to contact me in anyway.

Despite what I has said in my letter he still tried contacting me, but I simply ignored him, this Friday I recieved a call from someone who wanted to purchase my equipment ( as I have been trying to sell my stuff for the past month and a half, so WS and I agreed that he would sort it out once I leave ), anyways I needed to know when WS would return home so that I could let the buyer know, I asked my mother to be my intermediary at that point as it was urgent and the person I appointed as my intermediary is currently having problems in her family and requested I find another intermediary.

when my mother contacted WS she told him what I needed, WS spoke to my mother in a very cheeky manner, telling her that, because I have refused to make contact with him he was obliged to make my life a misery, and he will be moving out of that house soon, so he is now not concerned about my stuff, I need to sort it out myself.

he sent me an email saying the same thing, and threatening me, he tried to make it look like I cant live without his support, and he would make my life difficult if I dont cooperate with him.
He even mentioned that he did not read my letter. Now, do I suffer because he chose not to read my letter or do I email him a copy of the letter?

I looks like I will just have to co-operate with him until I get my stuff from him, unless I find someone over there to help keep my stuff at their place until I get it either sold or transported back to me. Any suggestions.

I am now looking for another intermidiary, I am finding it quite difficult as friends or distant relatives dont want to get involved, as they dont want to be the cause of the distruction of my marriage. they are advising me that I should of stayed with WS instead of leaving to make way for the OW. the only people willing are close relatives like my mother and SIL.

working on PB isn't easy, there are times when I wish I could still work on PA from far, especially when the children cry for daddy, I just tell them that daddy is at work and will be back for the holidays, is it the right thing to do?, I am stilling clinging onto hope that he will be back? I will continue to take comfort and trust in the Lord. I really pray for Gods intervention in my marriage. I pray that my WS wakes up from this fantasy world tht his in and finds his way back home, and I pray that he comes home knowing who God is, I really hope and pray that this situation causes him to seek God to such an extent that when he finally does find God he will vow to never leave his presence, as he once said he wants to feel Gods presence, so Lord please strike him so that he will learn to fear you and never take you for granted.

Stop lying to them. Tell them that daddy has a girlfriend. And that it is wrong for married people to have girlfriends.

Your kids know something is wrong. Lies aren't going to make them feel better - they will still sense an underlying...something...that they can't define. But they will feel it anyway. Don't let them feel that underlying deception.Don't protect your H's affair for him.

Stop mixing getting him home and getting him back in good graces with his relationship with God. Those are two separate things. Get him home first.

Yes. Please don't bear false witness to your children.

Part of the stick of Plan A is not shielding your wayward spouse from the consequences of their actions.

hi maritalbliss, how do I get him home if he does not find God first?

I've tried speaking to them about it before, but unfortunately my family dont think it's wise to be telling them that as they might get the impression that it is normal.

God has given you tools to get him home. Go back and read our posts. Do you think God is unaware of what we've said to you? HE'S the one Who brought you here!

Never lie to your children. They will hate you for it when they discover the truth without you.