My DD21 has made an appointment to see a counselor to help her through this. I suggested it and she finally listened. She is suffering from depression but is not able to go on meds at the moment because of her pregnancy. I am hoping that there is something she can go on while pregnant. She is about 16 weeks along now. I worry about my daughters right now.

Got a call thais past Sunday from a man who asked me if so and so was my husband and I said yes. Was informed that my husband was shacked up with his wife in her trailer. She left him 3 months ago for my husband. thsi is the second marriage not including ours that he has helped destroy. Told man that i was sorry but not surprised. This man has the means and money to destroy them both and since they are in Idaho it is a felony to commit adultery and her husband is usong that against her i the divorce now plus the fact she embezzled from his company. She will now have nothing and since my husband has nothingbut unpaid overdue bills their fantasy will be crashing down around them real soon. I am filing for divorce too. Found out that she has expensive tastes and now has to sell everything she owns. She only makes $32,000/yr as a teacher and my husband really has no job and smokes like chimney and drinks like a fish and she is now trying to keep up with him. Told H that if he wanted his clothes for winter to ask his new girlfriend to by him some. Been in contact with new OW husband and have been trying to help him. I feel for him and understand how he feels. He wants a divorce and he is going to force into onewhere he gets what he wants because of the adultery and embezzlement. She will get nothing. He knows that maybe later on down the road they can get back together. I told him about this website and SAA. Talking to him made me feel better but I will still be honest with you and myself that I still love my husband and am not ready for another relationship especially with someone who is going through the sae thing I have been going through.

sorry to hear this, but as you say not toally shocked. Waywards can be nuts.

I would be very careful with OWH. You are both BSs who are still legally married. It can be very easy to get ENs met by someone who is themself lacking. I would hate for you to become a wayward yourself.

Take care of yourself and those DDs. When are you going to become a gamma? That baby will bring such joy into your life. You need it.

No one faults you for not even thinking about dating(especially since you are still married) and that you don't think you will be for some time. Every BS should give themselves time to heal before they date. Although not having ENs met sure does suck, especially having being used to most of them being met for many years by our WSs.

Have you picked up any new hobbies? How about knitting, since you have a little one coming that you can make things for. Take care.

Hi Phoenix,
Check in here and there and saw your post. I have been D for almost 2 years and do not date. I am rebuilding my life but not over XH.
I have my DDs and good friends. I could date if I wanted to but I am NI - Not Interested and not sure if I will ever be.
It is fine as long as you are happy with that decision and enjoying your life. Just keep putting one foot in front of each other and day by day. Blessings

You are suffering the greater pain of being betrayed, and you will end up with a far better life in the long run.

Look what WH has to look forward to, and your life is going to be awesome whether your M recovers or not!

All we can do is pray for your WH.
He is dead, in a sense.

You, on the other hand, are growing with every challenge.
Reaching higher. Seeking to rise, not sink.
Working to elevate yourself and those you love.

You can choose to be at peace.
Your WH is at war with himself.

Don't worry about me and the OWH because I have no interest in being with anyone nor do I think I will. Kind of hard to get your EN met when there is about 2000 miles between you. He still loves his wife but is going to divorce her with the thought of maybe getting back together later. They have 6 kids and 10 grandkids together. Right now he is hurting and so mad he doesn't know what to do. But he has let me know that when his lawyers are through with her she won't have a bucket to pee in. She is use to doing a lot of things and going to other countries and she has expensive tastes. Now she will have to support herself and my H on her $32,000/yr salary. I really and truely give it less than 6 months. Especially since she is trying to sell all her stuff to support herself and my WH. I think that this is great because she will start to resent my WH and blame him for everything.

Today is my WH 49th birthday and he won't be getting anything from me or our DD's.

DD21 is going to have a baby girl March 16th which will be 10 days after my 47th birthday. WH won't be here for it and DD21 doesn't care. She says her father is a loser and a user and hopes things continue to go bad for him. She and her sister looked the new OW up on facebook and said she is an ugly little troll and looks like a pig and that their father keeps getting them uglier and uglier. Must be getting desperate at his age and nothing to his name. That is them talking not me but they are right.

DD23 who will be 24 next month is going to get married next year and move away. So I will be alone. After the divorce and everything I will be sitting pretty financially and hopefully I'll be able to finally get a new vehicle this time next year. I will be getting either a Boxer or a Rottweiler puppy to go with my Boston Terrier. I'll need something that will scare off intruders. They'll just be big pets and nothing else but no one will know this.

Went to a Halloween party on Oct 22nd and had a blast. DD21 was my DD since she couldn't drink. I went as the Dark Queen of Hearts with a little black top hat and all. Looked great!

Pepper, you are so right. My WH was a good man and now I don't even recognize the person he use to be. I do pray for him and his soul daily. Someone has to. I also pray that he and our DD's reconcile but for that to happen he would have to quit what he is doing.

I'd say rottweiler. People more often equate rotts with "Omg I shouldn't rob this place it'll eat me alive!"

Yeah , I had one years ago and the worse thing he would do was lick you. He was worthless as a guard dog but no one knew that because of his size and his bark. He was a lover not a fighter.
I still miss him and he died 11 years ago. His name was Beau and he was beautiful and sweet.

You know, I am actually going to encourage my WH to marry this woman knowing that he won't and even if he does he will live to regret it. I am past it all even if I do love him. I want him to get what he wants and I want him to choke on it. I'll be okay. I have survived this long and I will survive long after he is permanently gone.

I had a Rott when I was very small. She was a loving dog...

But she could be quite fierce if she perceived any threat.


Don't worry about his getting what he wants and choking on it. It'll happen.

I once was bit by a Rott who was protecting her owner.
Just walking by, minding my own business and it was getting a bath, unleashed in its front yard.
Ow.

Don't you dare encourage him PhoenixRising......let him do what he wants and focus on you. You. You.




You.

yeah, I know I shouldn't encourage it. Actually, I am having nothing to do with him. I haven't contact him unless he contacts me. He threatened me when I told him I was divorcing him. He said I ddn't know that he could afford a divorce lawyer and I know that he can't even afford to pay his bills and he couldn't afford to send me $50 to pay for his clothes to be mailed to me. He is so pathetic. He keeps forgettting that my Dad would pay for my divorce and he has more money than my WH could ever come up with and that includes his family. My father has more money than he knows what to do with and this time I will take advantage of it. My father would love to teach my WH a leasson.

Have your dad find a guy who lost everything in a divorce and ask who his ex's lawyer was.

Then have him hire them.

Yay for Daddy!
He's the man!

You're so lucky to have a dad like that.

Stay strong, Phoenix. Your WH is just a man. He's one person who is on a destructive path. Let him make his own mistakes. You will finally get it -- that he's on his own, and you will feel the weight of the world off your shoulders. You will stop caring. And when you do... really, really stop caring...the energy shifts. You laugh again. Your senses work again. You are "you" again. And wiser than ever before.

So try... really try to detach. Time for you to RISE!!!

One thing I forgot to mention. WH doesn't have any winter clothes in Idaho and it has been below freezing there a lot lately and is suppose to be snowing. Poor thing! NOT!!!! Hope he freezes you know what off. He is spitting mad that he cannot get his clothes. Can't help it, he should have stayed in Florida and worked on his marriage and then he would have been warm and toasty. Now don't care what happens. Do want to know when everything goes bad so I can cheer it on though.