Not to TJ, but I didn't know Idaho could GET that cold...

Idaho is cold for at least 1/2 the year. I've seen it start snowing at the end of September and still be be snowing in April. Shoot this June it was in the 40's at night and in the morning. It would get up in the 80's and 90's during the day this past summer. It has been below freezing there at noght for a couple of weeks now. It is below freezing now.

Sounds like my kind of place. I prefer cold weather...

Snow! I haven't seen a good snow for more than a year...

Okay, I've TJ'ed enough, I apologize.

Hey, I don't really mind cold weather but that is way too cold and for way too long. My Dad said that my WH would be back this winter because of the cold and the snow since he hasn't lived in it for over 25yrs. Personally I think he will dig his heels in and stay no matter how miserable he is there. And believe me I know he will be miserable.

Oh of course. If he didn't, that would be admitting he was wrong, and he can't do that!

Talked to DD21 tonight and she called from her cell phone. I said, I see your dad turned your phone back on." She told the only reason he did this was to chew her out because she blocked him on the computer. They got into it today and she chewed him a new one. He was so ugly to her and called her the most horrible names. He called her a user and she informed him that he was the user and that he used her and her friend to live off of because he spent all his money on cigarettes and booze and that he used me and now he was using his new whore to live. She proceeded to tell him that he would never find another woman as good as me who treat him as good as I did and put up with the crap that I put up with and that I was way too good for him. He agreed with her and said I put up with him way too long. It makes me so sad that he has totally destroyed his relationship with his daughter. DD21 says that she thinks WH is finally starting realize what he has done and she doesn't care. As a matter of fact she said if he dies she isn't going to his funeral because if she did she would spit on his grave. I told her no sh wouldn't and that I knew that he had hurt her and that she was angry for what he had to to all of us and what he was doing now. I know she feels he has run away and abandoned us. Both of the girls feel this way.

Still praying.

Sounds about how my Sister felt/feels about my Dad, although after 30 years after the divorce from my Mom, she has come to an understanding and just plain sadness at his mental and emotional condition.

Like I said before, Mom is doing great, and my Dad is sick in a nursing home. Mom is 81 and Dad is 78.

Hope you find peace PR

Dd21 should get her own phone. She is three years past age of majority. She does not have to stay mired in daddy's bs, does she realize this??

It has been hard for because she has no credit and is trying to build it up. Plus the contract isn't up yet but she is going to take the phone she has and get a month to month line for herself. I'm going to do the same. Oh, DD21 just pays me for phone and always has since she was 16. We are all getting our own lines and sticking him with the phone bill since he is being an a$$.

She's better off keeping the "plan" phone like she is doing than buying one specifically for month to month. I did that and the battery went bad within 6 months.

Or get a Tracfone type thing that has prepaid minutes.

"Sticking it to him" is just another way of saying "keeping yourselves mired in his drama".

Wow, it has been 2 days and I've heard nothing from WH. Neither has DD21 and it has been nice. Refuse to answer andy of his texts anyway so that may have helped in my case. I think my DD21 standing up to him like she did and giving it to him both barrels has helped her. From what she said, he left her alone without another word. He hasn't even text DD23 because she would have said something.

My friends don't think I will divorce WH. I am going to because I can't deal with what he is doing and after the nasty things he said to our daughter there is no way I can take him back. WH has totally lost it. DD21 is making sure that her uncle knows what WH is saying so I hope that his family in Idaho knows what he is really like. I know that blood is thicker than water but I can't believe that they would tolerate anything he would say to his daughter that is so ugly and horrible, especially his sisters and mother. They would never and have never talked to their children like that no matter how angry they have been at them. Right now I really don't care what happens to my WH but I bet that karma is going to bite him in the butt soon.

Still praying.

Have you or the DDs gone to Alanon for help?

I forgot if you addressed this

I go to individual therapy. Neither of my daughters are in any kind of therapy. I'm actually doing well despite everything that is going on. With WH not here any more we are all doing fine. WH has finally realized he has no control over us anymore. It has become a relief this past 2 days to realize that I am finally getting a divorce. I have lined up my lawyer and everything. I just want to be left alone.

Talked to my parents last night and discussed me moving to Tennessee next year. Just want everything over and achance to start over and I am actually looking forward to it. I won't move until next summer. By then both daughters will have moved out of state and my first grandchild will have been born. I plan on taking 2-3 months off from work and then get a job in Nashville. That is only about 1-1 1/2 hrs from my parents. It is definitely going to be an adventure starting over from scratch at age 47. At least as an RN I'll be able to get a job without any problem.

If it wasn't for my faith in God I don't think I would be as well as I am now. Talking to Him has been a great comfort to me.

Still praying.

Today I got a nice refund check and I really needed it. It will help me out a lot. I will be able to catch up on everything. It has been so nice lately. It is quiet and calm here and the girls and I are doing well. Everything is blocked so that helps with the peace and quiet.

I am going to be busy the next 2 days. I have and appointment with my therapist tomorrow and my regular doctor. I am going to have to try sleeping pills again so I can get some sleep. Still don't sleep much and it has gotten worse lately. Will not go on anti-depressants again. Have to get a new tire for my car tomorrow and then on Thursday I am getting my hair done. It has been a long time snce I've had it done and I need to do something for me.

Dropping husband off my insurance this month. We drop/add every November at our hospital unless there is a major change like marriage/divorce/death/birth. That will save me about $97/2 weeks. I am also going to stop paying into my tax shelter annuity for the next year. I'll restart again next year. Right now I need the money in my check. This time next year I'll be better off financially. I'll get enough extra in my paycheck to pay all my utilities. This feels like a small load is off my shoulders. At the beginning of the year I should get a large check that is 50% of what my sick days are worth and I have been at the hospital 16 1/2 yrs and I haven't used any days. We are getting taken over by another institution. It is a shame that this is happening but on the other hand I really could use the money. I'll be able to pay all my bills off except the house.

Still praying.

It's weird how things just seem to fall in place. When you need money, it arrives. I truly believe that when you are where you are suppose to be, doing what you are suppose to be doing, that God takes care of you!

So keep doing what you are suppose to be doing. Being a great mom and nurse and woman and friend. WH is on dangerous ground. Best to stay away from him. If he and my WH find the light some day -- then Amen to that. They KNOW they are wrong -- but until they see it and really, really FEEL it, it won't matter.

Congrats on the income. And of course, you deserve some pampering BEYOND a haircut. Buy something special for YOU!!

Yeah--get a couple of late Christmas presents.

Still staying away from WH and he has left both me and our daughters alone. We all spent time together and watched the movie "Thor" last night and making girlie comments about the actor. DD23 was diappointed that Thor didn't go around shirtless more. Had fun.

Went to my therapist and my MD yesterday. Therapist says that I am doing fine and that I really don't want to get even or hate my WH because that would eat me up and make me miserable and then I wouldn't be the good person I am now. And if I tried to really understand why things happened then I would be just as warped and sick as my WH. My therapist told me to keep doing what I am doing and that I will be fine and that I wouldn't have any guilt and could continue on with my life but that my WH was continuing to spiral out of control and eventually he would explode.

Got ambien for sleep and xanax to help relax when and if WH tries to get hold of and get me so upset that I can't stand it. If the regular ambien doesn't help me then he will try ambien CR or something else. I mainly need the ambien the night before I work. I can handle less sleep if I don't have to work the next day, I am just tired of getting 2-4 hrs of sleep and having to work the next day.

Going to get my hair done today and I am so looking forward to it. Bought myself a new skirt and blouse yesterday for Church and some new makeup. At least the clothes were on sale. Caught up on my bills so far and got a new tire for my car(I was still on my spare). I do feel better today.

Heard from OWH last night. I felt so bad for him. He was crying on the phone and wants her back so bad. Told him to come here and to get SAA. She has got people believing her. I don't know what she is saying about her H or her marriage and I didn't ask. Some of the their kids have called her and chewed her out. Told OWH that it is just a fantasy and to leave them alone in their own little world and eventually reality would come crashing down on them. But I did emphasize that he need to come here and get SAA. He did remember Dr. Harley's name so he has been listening to me. Told him that I didn't have the answers but since she didn't have any money and that my WH definitely had less than no money that it would put a serious strain on their relationship. I did mention plan A and plan B but I think he is way past plan A. He needs to stay out of that drama that my WH and she are having. Told him he needed to heal and to help himself.

Still praying.

Wise therapist

It reminds me of the scripture

"They judged themselves, by themselves, and became unwise"

Aliens are lost, and trying to understand thier world, is a waste of time

OWH is turning to you for comfort, support, solace.