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Exposure can be scary, for sure. When I was staring it in the face I looked at it as a form of self respect - righteous indignation even, in addition to what all CV said. A spouse that is cheating does not respect the spouse at home. Who could respect someone who is allowing an affair to continue and doing nothing? And if that spouse does not respect you - they certainly can't love you. Love and respect go hand in hand.
Yeah... I'll stick with Exposure. I couldn't agree more! My Wife just ignores me since exposure .... she's mad at me ..... so be it.
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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Bill, I get that, too. My ww and family told me if I wanted to get her back, telling her business wasn't the way to do it. I wish I didn't have anything to tell.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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Bill, I get that, too. My ww and family told me if I wanted to get her back, telling her business wasn't the way to do it. I wish I didn't have anything to tell. And they BELIEVE that krap!!!!!.....they REALLY believe that keeping it all secret is the answer. If I had been the cheater....they'd see it different!
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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My response to her family was I thought they were care enough about her and our family to tell her she was wrong. Their responses were all the same. "She's a grown woman and she makes.her own decisions. She knows what's right and wrong. We can't change her". I said that I knew that but they could definitely influence her. They all are too cowardly to stand up against her. From what I've learned, its always been that way and it doesn't seem like it'll change. It definitely doesnt make me feelgood good knowing that my daughter will grow in this atmosphere as well. And I actually told them that. I got no response.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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My WH family is the same way. They keep making excuses for him and telling me I need to "get my emotions in check" at which that point I stopped talking to them. If they are going to support my WH's A then I do not want them in my life either. My MIL actually had the nerve to ask me if I was a good wife. I laughed and almost hung up on her.
Thankfully, the exposure to his work came from the OWH and not me. I was nervous about that. But what is done is done and I think it was the right thing to do.
Good luck with yours.
D-day 1- August 2011
D-day 2- October 2011
D-day 3- December 2011
Filed for divorce 2-2012
Married since 7-04
Together since 1-02
1 child-19 months old
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After I'd heard that for the last time, I erased all her family from my cell phone, unfriended them all of Facebook and I haven't talked to them since. I see MIL and ww's aunt at church weekly but we don't speak.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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I exposed my WH's affair with a coworker about a fortnight ago. He is not speaking to me, he is mad as hell. But, at least it's all out in the open and they can't claim it to be this great love story that 'just happened to them'. For me, a huge motivation was to get some accountability on my WH's part as he's been less than honest about everything. He is still seeing her but I'm hoping the fizz will have gone a bit.
Me, BS, 35
J, WS, 33
12 years together, married 2.
No kids, just cats
D-day 06/30/11
In Plan B
"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
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I exposed my WH's affair with a coworker about a fortnight ago. He is not speaking to me, he is mad as hell. But, at least it's all out in the open and they can't claim it to be this great love story that 'just happened to them'. For me, a huge motivation was to get some accountability on my WH's part as he's been less than honest about everything. I got you beat......my Wife hasn't spoken to me in 2 months...."accountability"...I don't think my Wife understands the concept! She cheated.....I didn't!! I'm far from the perfect Husband.....but I accept my flaws and want to change for the benefit of BOTH of us!.....my Wife is still playing the "Blame Game". It is what it is right now.
Last edited by BillCarolina; 11/07/11 09:20 PM.
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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Ah, the Blame Game....
Yes, my WH is playing that one too. I am the one who is ruining his reputation at work by telling everyone HE is sleeping with his colleague...
Logic, commom sense, it all seems to go straight out of the window for the wayward.
Me, BS, 35
J, WS, 33
12 years together, married 2.
No kids, just cats
D-day 06/30/11
In Plan B
"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
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Dr Harley and Joyce address anger over exposure in this radio clip, go to 4:40: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=3358
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Melody what day is that from?
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yesterday. It is in clip #3.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Interesting piece, but it does focus on the premis that the WS is taking resposibility, and holds themselves accountable for their actions.
Unfortunatley in my case (and I guess I'm not the only one)my WS is totally unrepentant for his actions and behaviour.
If anything, it is all my fault according to him.
He has now convinced himself that I did not really love him, just the lifestyle he provided...and that's why he left me, nothing to do with his affair..
He seems to have forgotten that due to previous years of hard work, teamwork, of give & take and so on, we got the lifestyle we did.
Me, BS, 35
J, WS, 33
12 years together, married 2.
No kids, just cats
D-day 06/30/11
In Plan B
"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
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