Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 656
D
Delta_ Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 656
Forgive me if there's already a thread on this; I searched but found nothing.

While the nation is rightly outraged at the abuse and cover up at Penn State and disgusted about decent people turning a blind eye instead of helping victims, I can't help but think of all the other types of abuse - like adultery - that society regularly turns a blind eye to.

It's been really troubling for me this week.

Sure, surviving an affair is not the same as surviving physical assault, but most people fail to realize that victims of both atrocities have said the lifelong pain from having a spouse betray them through infidelity is worse. Is it? I don't know. I've never been physically assaulted, so I can't compare.

As I read opinions from people on their high horse about protecting children (as we all should), I wonder how many have allowed other evils to pass them by because they were too cowardly to get involved.

Victims of child abuse "face a lifetime of nightmares and issues with intimacy and trust. Ask any expert. The damager may have gone away. The damage never does."

Sound familiar?


FBW in recovery
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 656
D
Delta_ Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 656
Quote:
Those I've counseled who have had the tragic misfortune of having experienced rape, physical abuse, sexual abuse of their children, and infidelity have consistently reported to me that their spouse's unfaithfulness was their very worst experience. To be convinced of the devastating impact of infidelity, you only need to go through it once.

Dr. Willard Harley


FBW in recovery
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 387
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 387
It's something like this.....

All Evil needs to thrive is for good men ( and women ) to see it and do nothing.

I'm sure those of us in the mist of evil actions, see the need to act. Adultery, abuse, theft....the list goes on. It is not a responsibility many people think about, bc society has adopted a "it's not my business" attitude. As humans, we are all responsible to shine the light on the darkness, no matter the cost to our well being.

On this weekend, please say thank you to a Vet, a Policeman, a Fireman or anyone else who puts their life on the line to protect us all.


Me (BH): 42
Her (WS): 39
Married 19 yrs
DD: 16, DD: 11, DD: 7
D-Day: 7-5-2011, Caught searching 10-15-2012
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,093
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,093
I started many years ago, before 9/11, thanking people in uniform as I saw them on the street. I would just go up and shake their hand and say thanks. One time when we lived in Albuquerque, we went to the Air Force Base there for the 4th of July show. On our way out through the gates, there were young men in uniform directing traffic. As we came through the gate, I stopped and shook one man's hand and said "thank you". He didn't know what to say - as if nobody ever before had thanked him for anything. I had to say it twice, so he understood, and then he smiled and said it back to me. I told him I appreciated his service and drove on.

In the mall, or at restaurants, I would stop and thank people that same way. I often will pay the tab for meals for men in uniform. If they are in the drive-thru behind me, I ask what the tab is for that car - and pay that bill before they get to the window, and ask the person at the window to say thank-you for me and tell them that they paid the bill for me in their way, so I paid it for them as best I could in return.


As far as the Penn State deal goes? Those people chose football over everything else. They chose the money-making that goes along with the team, the university image, and their own pocket-lining desires. Their idea was that if they could hush this thing up, they wouldn't hurt their precious team and things could be just hunky-dory.

Instead, what they got is exactly what they deserve - they nuked themselves, their team, their public image, and their university's entire program.

My pain in this is that it came at the cost of innocent children, who could have been saved. These men should go to jail, and are as complicit in the crime as the perpetrator himself.

They knew, they did nothing. They worked beside this man every day - knowing his deed.

I know I stand with most people who ask, "How could they do this?"


The simplest answer: Greed. Plain and simple. The ugliest answer of all.


Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 387
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 387
The excuse is always self preservation... Weather it is greed, safety, personal gain or image. We have been conditioned to "not get into other people's business".

Evil survives on our apathy. Stand up for good!! No matter the cost to yourself.....I would rather die for the good, than live with Evil.


Me (BH): 42
Her (WS): 39
Married 19 yrs
DD: 16, DD: 11, DD: 7
D-Day: 7-5-2011, Caught searching 10-15-2012
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
This is why Exposure for all sins is the best policy.


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (1 invisible), 25 guests, and 69 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Ella Paradis, Lethabo, Livn1dayAtaTime, widup, Reggg
71,683 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,528
Posts2,322,563
Members71,682
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5