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Forgive me if there's already a thread on this; I searched but found nothing.

While the nation is rightly outraged at the abuse and cover up at Penn State and disgusted about decent people turning a blind eye instead of helping victims, I can't help but think of all the other types of abuse - like adultery - that society regularly turns a blind eye to.

It's been really troubling for me this week.

Sure, surviving an affair is not the same as surviving physical assault, but most people fail to realize that victims of both atrocities have said the lifelong pain from having a spouse betray them through infidelity is worse. Is it? I don't know. I've never been physically assaulted, so I can't compare.

As I read opinions from people on their high horse about protecting children (as we all should), I wonder how many have allowed other evils to pass them by because they were too cowardly to get involved.

Victims of child abuse "face a lifetime of nightmares and issues with intimacy and trust. Ask any expert. The damager may have gone away. The damage never does."

Sound familiar?


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Those I've counseled who have had the tragic misfortune of having experienced rape, physical abuse, sexual abuse of their children, and infidelity have consistently reported to me that their spouse's unfaithfulness was their very worst experience. To be convinced of the devastating impact of infidelity, you only need to go through it once.

Dr. Willard Harley


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It's something like this.....

All Evil needs to thrive is for good men ( and women ) to see it and do nothing.

I'm sure those of us in the mist of evil actions, see the need to act. Adultery, abuse, theft....the list goes on. It is not a responsibility many people think about, bc society has adopted a "it's not my business" attitude. As humans, we are all responsible to shine the light on the darkness, no matter the cost to our well being.

On this weekend, please say thank you to a Vet, a Policeman, a Fireman or anyone else who puts their life on the line to protect us all.


Me (BH): 42
Her (WS): 39
Married 19 yrs
DD: 16, DD: 11, DD: 7
D-Day: 7-5-2011, Caught searching 10-15-2012
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I started many years ago, before 9/11, thanking people in uniform as I saw them on the street. I would just go up and shake their hand and say thanks. One time when we lived in Albuquerque, we went to the Air Force Base there for the 4th of July show. On our way out through the gates, there were young men in uniform directing traffic. As we came through the gate, I stopped and shook one man's hand and said "thank you". He didn't know what to say - as if nobody ever before had thanked him for anything. I had to say it twice, so he understood, and then he smiled and said it back to me. I told him I appreciated his service and drove on.

In the mall, or at restaurants, I would stop and thank people that same way. I often will pay the tab for meals for men in uniform. If they are in the drive-thru behind me, I ask what the tab is for that car - and pay that bill before they get to the window, and ask the person at the window to say thank-you for me and tell them that they paid the bill for me in their way, so I paid it for them as best I could in return.


As far as the Penn State deal goes? Those people chose football over everything else. They chose the money-making that goes along with the team, the university image, and their own pocket-lining desires. Their idea was that if they could hush this thing up, they wouldn't hurt their precious team and things could be just hunky-dory.

Instead, what they got is exactly what they deserve - they nuked themselves, their team, their public image, and their university's entire program.

My pain in this is that it came at the cost of innocent children, who could have been saved. These men should go to jail, and are as complicit in the crime as the perpetrator himself.

They knew, they did nothing. They worked beside this man every day - knowing his deed.

I know I stand with most people who ask, "How could they do this?"


The simplest answer: Greed. Plain and simple. The ugliest answer of all.


Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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The excuse is always self preservation... Weather it is greed, safety, personal gain or image. We have been conditioned to "not get into other people's business".

Evil survives on our apathy. Stand up for good!! No matter the cost to yourself.....I would rather die for the good, than live with Evil.



Me (BH): 42
Her (WS): 39
Married 19 yrs
DD: 16, DD: 11, DD: 7
D-Day: 7-5-2011, Caught searching 10-15-2012
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This is why Exposure for all sins is the best policy.


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