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Originally Posted by Scotland
How do you KNOW this?

She has not really ever let contact go.


Celtic Voyager
Married 22+ years
3 young adult children


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Originally Posted by celticvoyager
Originally Posted by Scotland
How do you KNOW this?

She has not really ever let contact go.

I am well aware. Just trying to get HER to do the work she needs to do and hopefully clear out some of this "fog" she seems to be under about being able to recover while still having so much contact with OW, albeit not directly.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

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D is 11. She sent it fromy account. Said it was her. Said she hated her.

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Unless there's more to it than that, leave it alone.

If you were really in NC, and I mean dark NC, you would have no idea that the OW had said anything. This is the death of a thousand cuts.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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Originally Posted by AEK1
D is 11. She sent it fromy account. Said it was her. Said she hated her.
Don't pursue discussion of this. If anyone says anything to you, tell them that you are aware of the email and have spoken with your DD about it. That's it.

Your DD needs to be NC with OW. Your whole family does. You're way past due on this. This continued contact is keeping all of you in a state of limbo.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Ow told my friend who I no longer speak to. Her H emailed me to ask if I was aware D had done this. I have not replied.

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Originally Posted by AEK1
Ow told my friend who I no longer speak to. Her H emailed me to ask if I was aware D had done this. I have not replied.
AEK. Listen to me. I want you to close that email account. Open a new one. Do not tell your DD you have done so. Do not tell anyone but your H about the new account.

Do not email anyone from the new account if there is any chance at all that it will find its way to someone you're not supposed to be in contact with. That includes OW, her H, her friends, your former friends, the man in the moon, your cousin's husband's dog's vet...etc.

Use this account only for paying bills online, ordering from Amazon, emailing your H to tell him you love him, etc.

This continued business of remaining in contact via 6 degrees of separation is going to have to end. And only YOU can cause that to happen. When are you going to do so??

Last edited by maritalbliss; 10/26/11 11:55 AM.

D-Day 2-10-2009
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Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Now!

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Originally Posted by AEK1
Now!

Now that's what I am talking about. You go girl. Take back control of your life.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Taking control. This has been a tough lesson. I really want to be happy again.

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Getting there. Ups and downs but more ups i think!

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Originally Posted by AEK1
Getting there. Ups and downs but more ups i think!
Keep plugging away, sister! Anything new to report?


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Woohoo!!!


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Nothing new to report. Meds helping. NC with previous friends helping. Time helping. Still have moments of anger particularly towards the school and how they treated me but need to move on from this..... Just working out how to!

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Yep, focus on preparing for the move, and looking forward to a fresh start.

It doesn't take away what already happened, but it prevents the continual stream of new wounds, giving the old ones a chance to heal.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Thank you for all your wise words. Things are getting better. We are going to south Africa for 2 weeks at Xmas so that should be good. We are getting there.

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Feeling good. Don't often think of the A anymore. Have boxed it up.

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Really positive week. On the right track.

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AEK1:

These short posts are great. I can't believe your turnaround. I was truly concerned that you would never take charge of your situation and eliminate all the triggers in your life.

Well done, and keep it up!
SP


Me: 47
BH: 48, previously married
Married: Nov. 27, 2004
DDay: Nov. 13, 2010
Kids: stepsons DS17 and DS13
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=postlist&Board=35
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Thank you! Things are better. But sadly there are still days when I gave a reality check. I ask myself if I want to be with somebody who has been intimate with somebody else and I don't know the answer.
I love him but I am not if I can fall back in live with him again.
We shall see.... But atleast I am stronger.

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