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Giraffe, don't use this as an excuse to put this off.
I don't see it as an excuse, I really want to tell them in person. They are older but still, this is going to be rough news for them to hear and I would rather be with them. I agree that before is better, but I just don't like telling my kids over the phone.
Another question.... WW works nights sometimes and will be at work each night, Wed-Sat (including Thanksgiving night). Is that bad timing, if she has someplace to go each night?
Me: 46 Wife: 44 Married 24 years Kids: 4 PA began about 2 years ago. D-Day: August 2011
Question.... I think OM is out of town this past weekend and maybe all week. And maybe not accessible even via cell phone. Is that a problem as far as him getting the word? No excuses, just planning. I want to be the most effective.
Thanks.
Me: 46 Wife: 44 Married 24 years Kids: 4 PA began about 2 years ago. D-Day: August 2011
Giraffe, don't use this as an excuse to put this off.
I don't see it as an excuse, I really want to tell them in person. They are older but still, this is going to be rough news for them to hear and I would rather be with them. I agree that before is better, but I just don't like telling my kids over the phone.
Again, telling them in person is not as important as the strategic advantage of having everyone know while they are together on Thanksgiving. So, yes, I do view this another avoidance tactic. There is no reason this can't be done over the phone. It won't hurt if you have to tell one or two over the phone. We do this all the time, and phone exposures are just fine.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
Another question.... WW works nights sometimes and will be at work each night, Wed-Sat (including Thanksgiving night). Is that bad timing, if she has someplace to go each night?
Another good reason to expose today and tomorrow. If she is home all night Tuesday, that would be ideal.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
Thanks Mel! I really don't see it as avoiding anything other than telling them over the phone. BUT I understand I have been been second quessing things so I understand why you are saying that. Plus I'm sure you deal with folks avoiding this moment all the time.
What about the other question about the OM not being home. I think he is away possbily all week. His son might even be with him. If I tell his ex about this, she can contact my WW but not him or his son until they get back.... is that a problem?
Thanks.
Me: 46 Wife: 44 Married 24 years Kids: 4 PA began about 2 years ago. D-Day: August 2011
Thanks Mel! I really don't see it as avoiding anything other than telling them over the phone. BUT I understand I have been been second quessing things so I understand why you are saying that. Plus I'm sure you deal with folks avoiding this moment all the time.
What does this mean then? That you are avoiding the exposure until AFTER Thanksgiving?
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What about the other question about the OM not being home. I think he is away possbily all week. His son might even be with him. If I tell his ex about this, she can contact my WW but not him or his son until they get back.... is that a problem?
Thanks.
No.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
Thanks Mel! I really don't see it as avoiding anything other than telling them over the phone. BUT I understand I have been been second quessing things so I understand why you are saying that.
I am saying this because if you are using this as a reason to DELAY exposure, it is a WEAK reason. And weak reasons are due to conflict avoidance. But perhaps you are not saying that you are going to DELAY the exposure, just that you won't tell the child who is not there for Thanksgiving until gets home. Is that what you are saying?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
OM is not your problem at all. I don't get this question. You expose to the people you do. What they do is not up to you. Only what you do.
It's not that complicated, dude. Expose, disrupt the fantasy. The chips fall from there.
Once again, embrace it as the new beginning it is. The beginning of an unknown, to be sure, but a new beginning, a step out of the hell you are in now. You don't act like you like it there.
I know. I must be insane. When a poster asks us to help him push a car up the hill and he REFUSES to take off the parking brake, I should know better.....
As soon as one excuse is shot down, he comes up with another one. I have to remember that this is not my marriage and step away.
Stepping away.........
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
I can tell you that waiting for the result of the study of the impact of your exposure on the history of the papacy and it future impact on world history is an exercise in futility.
You're seriously coming off an an indecisive and cowardly person who continuously finds excuses for not doing what needs to be done.
Hey, Pep - from what I have had the pleasure to witness;
I PITY THE FRICKIN' WALL!
shaddup, you yankee dawg!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
He hasn't read my post. I feel stronger ever since exposure. I mess up, but these kind people set me straight. Trust what they're saying.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
