(That doesn't mean don't direct him to MB resources, but it does mean be very, VERY careful.

You are not the one who can help him.)

It's pretty sad watching people self-destruct like your WH. Sometimes there's nothing you can do but just let them fall.

Good luck moving on to a better life for you and your DDs.

I would like him to come here where he could get help because I am the last one to give advice to anyone. Also, I have told him that he needs to see a therapist. His family is trying to get him to see one also. I just feel bad for him, he has lost so much thanks to his WW and my WH. Hoping that she sees the light and drops my sorry WH like a hot potato and goes home.

Still praying.

Haven't heard from WH in about 2 weeks and it ahs been nice and relaxing. Have been able to sleep 7hrs a night with the ambien. Didn't take any last night because I am off and had a little trouble falling asleep and staying asleep but I am off today.

DD21 hasn't heard from her father either and she is ok with that. Funny thing is that when he did things to spite us it didn't work all he did was make sure he couldn't keep an eye on us. And I know he did because of the comments he would make.

OW#2 husband has filed charges of adultery on his wife and my WH. Guess I'll find out later how things turn out.

DD21 will be moving back in with me soon because her boyfriend is being deployed to the middle east for 6 months soon. She is so upset because he won't be here for their daughter's birth. I'm hoping that this will have them getting married sooner.

DD23 will be getting married in January and not long after that her husband will be leaving to where he is suppose to go and he is going ahead of her to get their housing set up so she won't have to stay in a hotel room for weeks with the cat and the dog. They are hoping to go to Germany.

Still praying.

My son is in Vilseck Germany.

I was stationed in Germany for 2 1/2 yrs and loved it. I know that DD23 will love living there especially since they are young and have no children at this time. There is so much to do and see. Plus we have family in Scotland and they can go there to visit. I did severals times and it was fun. DD23 was born in Germany and for years when she was little she swore she could speak German because she was born there. Now she gets a chance to go back there and see where she was born. I am happy for her.

Still praying.

That makes me wonder--she's a dual-citizen since she was born there, right? I'm curious how that works...

Er, sorry, I don't mean to t/j. I'm going to go look it up.

She is not a dual citizen because she was born there. That only works in the USA.

If she had two parents, that were both american citizens, she is a US citizen. Not German.
She would be German though, if she was born there and one of her parents had been rightfully living there for 8 years. And if she does have German and US nationality at the same time, she would have to choose between the two at the age of 18.

The rules must have changed since my uncle was born then. He was born in Germany in the early '70s and I've always been told he had dual citizenship as a result.

Actually, she was born of parents that were stationed overseas. She was also born in a military hospital and that makes it US soil. She has only US citizenship. It was funny that she thought she could speak German though. I could at the time but I haven't used it in over 20 years so I have lost that ability.

Still praying.

I guess the fact that my grandmother was NOT a soldier could have been why my uncle got that status. She probably gave birth in a German hospital, not sure.

Hope DD21's pregnancy will go well.

If you get to visit Vilseck, there are plenty of neat things to do close by. In the town of Weiden,there are crystal factories as well as a Villeroy and Boch factory and outlets. It is also not too far from Prague, a beautiful city. Driving in Prague was crazy. It is full of one-way streets that all seem to leave the city.

Germany is a great assignment for a newly married couple - as long as the unit does not deploy somewhere. Deployments leave the family members a little bit stuck for what seems like a long time.

AM

AM

I hear Germany is also good for bread shops...

And beer and pretzels and bratwurst in fantastic gardens by the riverside... Oh dear, enough from me, I am getting itchy feet again and I promised my family I would stay put for a while!

I loved Germany with all of its history. It seemed that every town had a castle that was in ruins. Loved the crystal factories and the Kris Kringle Marts. Went to one town that had a huge store that was nothing but Christmas year round. There is so much to see and do there all year. Loved driving on the Autobahn. Guess I'll have to go to Germany if they get stationed there. That won't be a hardship for me as I love it there. Also the food there is to die for. You definitely get your moneys worth. Also love the bakeries. You can tell them what you want to eat and a hot beverage and they will take it to you to eat outside. I think I am looking forward to them going over there more than they are because I can go see them!

Still Praying.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I did with my 2 daughters and soon to be son-in-law.

Haven't heard anything from my WH in 3 weeks and it has been nice. DD21 hasn't heard anything either and the only thing DD23 has heard from him was when he text her a picture of the snow in Idaho. DD23 doesn't call or text WH unless he does it first and he never calls he just texts. As far as I know WH never text DD23 yesterday.

I wonder if WH ever got any clothes for winter since we never sent him his clothes. He even has some nice sweaters and leather jackets. One of his leather jackets he never wore because it had such a thick heavy lining and he wouldn't wear it here in northwest Florida. It does get below freezing here. Hope it really hurt the OW#2 wallet to have to go buy my WH new clothes and coats/jackets for the winter. From what I understand she is having money issues herself. Nothing ruins a relatonship faster than having to support someone who has nothing and can't contribute to it.

Still praying.

Found out this weekend from DD21 that my WH was kicked out of his brother's home because my WH and my sister-in-law could not get along anymore. They have known each other almost their whole lives. Seems that my WH's drinking and smoking and the way he has been living his life has finally got to his family. They are not happy with him. DD21 said thatshe knows that WH and OW#2 won't last because he is just using her like he has been using everyone else. This just makes me feel warm and fuzzy all inside.

Refresh my memory - are you in Plan B? I had thought you were; not being at all sarcastic, just my memory isn't always what it should be.

If you are in Plan B, then you consistently know waaaaaaay too much about WH and how he's doing, what he's doing, who he's doing it with, and what he's wearing it while he's doing it.

You will feel SO much better if you just let go of all that excess knowledge, block it off completely, and focus on your own life and healing.

The only reason I know what is going on in my WH life at all is that my daughter does talk about him to me from time to time. I have had no contact with him at all for 4 weeks now. I don't ask about him from my daughter but if she wants to talk about him because of how she feels I am not going to cut her off. This is her father and he hurt her too and with her being pregnant she does get a little emotional at times.

Oh by the way I don't know what he is wearing or what he is doing and the the reason I know who he is with is because the OW#2H called me and let me know back in October other than that I know nothing. The only reason I know about him having no clothes is because he was going to Idaho for a visit only and only took a few things and left everything here so he has no winter clothes there in Idaho.

What I am trying very gently to suggest is, even if you have already come by certain information unavoidably, you are using up too much brain space analyzing it.

Plan B is about peace of mind for you. It's about living in the real world, not the crazy one WH tried to drag you into.

While listening to your DD's feelings, it is also important, not only for you but for her and the baby, to steer her thoughts in more positive directions as much as possible. There are many well-documented studies about how stress affects the unborn. The more your DD frets about this terrible situation, the more adrenalin she will pump into her system.

As much as possible, she needs to regulate herself to be peaceful, calm, and happy. Just like you.