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Better yet, pick up the phone and CALL his work!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Exactly.
He may not be able to talk, but he can listen. Tell him what you need to and then give him your number should he want to talk more at a better time.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Just want to add my support r2w - its wonderful to see a newbie on here with some get up and go!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Okay there has been a slight delay. I had it all planned to call OWH, and then continue to my FB messages. I called OWH twice at work, but he did not return my call. I had it in my head that I have to contact him first. Then I had to take care of a family obligation for the evening. I will start fresh tomorrow, and try to reach OWH at home. Then move forward with FB. Keep my family in your prayers and thank you!
BW (48) WH (49) 23 year married, 27 1/2 together daughter 18, son, 16 WH planning to leave for OW
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That's great, rtw. Keep going! He might be easier to reach on the weekend.
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Exposure in process. WS texted and asked me "what did u do?"
BW (48) WH (49) 23 year married, 27 1/2 together daughter 18, son, 16 WH planning to leave for OW
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Just remember, if he gets angry it means it is working. If he really believed his affair was ok, he would not have a problem with you telling the world.
Me -BS 40 Him - FWH 34 (dtl) 3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11 NC - 01/09/11 02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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Thank you to everyone, the storm has hit and I need to be strong. WS is livid, and told me I was being irrational. WS wants to know everyone I have contacted and whether or not I have told the children. OW sister's has chastised me for going public - I will not respond to her stupid comment.
BW (48) WH (49) 23 year married, 27 1/2 together daughter 18, son, 16 WH planning to leave for OW
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hang in there. Weekends are alway slow here but you are doing great.
Me -BS 40 Him - FWH 34 (dtl) 3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11 NC - 01/09/11 02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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Thank you to everyone, the storm has hit and I need to be strong. WS is livid, and told me I was being irrational. WS wants to know everyone I have contacted and whether or not I have told the children. OW sister's has chastised me for going public - I will not respond to her stupid comment. Great job! Make sure you tell the kids BEFORE your husband. He's just wanting to know who to spin the story to. He'll label you as nuts and crazy to discredit you. Oh, and to hell with OW's sister. In the future, if anyone criticizes you for exposure, just tell them that you're sorry to hear that they support your husband's adultery. And don't engage in any arguments with WH. Just tell him that you're sorry to hear that he's upset that others know about his adultery and then change the subject, walk away, whatever it takes. Worse case, tell him you're not going to let him drag you into an argument and then disengage. You're doing good, hang in there and just ignore the drama that others are trying to start.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Remember, don't refer to OW by name. Rather, call her "Bill's wife" to remind him and everyone else of her marital status.
Last edited by Northwood8900; 12/03/11 03:15 PM.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Okay there has been a slight delay. I had it all planned to call OWH, and then continue to my FB messages. I called OWH twice at work, but he did not return my call. I had it in my head that I have to contact him first. Then I had to take care of a family obligation for the evening. I will start fresh tomorrow, and try to reach OWH at home. Then move forward with FB. Keep my family in your prayers and thank you! Did you get in touch with OWH? Hopefully so, by now, before OW spins it.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Thank you to everyone, the storm has hit and I need to be strong. WS is livid, and told me I was being irrational. WS wants to know everyone I have contacted and whether or not I have told the children. OW sister's has chastised me for going public - I will not respond to her stupid comment. Awesome! Be sure and tell the kids before he get to them. Just tell him you are spreading the good news. Keep us posted!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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WS is mad - thinks I need medication. OWH has walked out, and her children know what is going on. OW's sister asked me why the other woman always gets blamed. She wanted to know if I also sent a note to WS's friends and family. She suggested I tell my kids what a jerk my husband is. I am not responding to OW's family. Liars really get indignent when you reveal their lies. From my side lots of support and encouragement. WS is on his way home to speak with me f2f. I am keeping strong and know that I have done nothing wrong.
BW (48) WH (49) 23 year married, 27 1/2 together daughter 18, son, 16 WH planning to leave for OW
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I would definitely tell your children immediately..before he gets a chance to spin things.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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WS is mad - thinks I need medication. OWH has walked out, and her children know what is going on. OW's sister asked me why the other woman always gets blamed. She wanted to know if I also sent a note to WS's friends and family. She suggested I tell my kids what a jerk my husband is. I am not responding to OW's family. Liars really get indignent when you reveal their lies. From my side lots of support and encouragement. WS is on his way home to speak with me f2f. I am keeping strong and know that I have done nothing wrong. Great job, my friend!! If there is nothing wrong with he is doing why would he mind if you told everyone? You were just spreading the good news!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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WS is mad - thinks I need medication. Please. Tell him you're not going to let him drag you into an argument. Tell him that he's the one that chose to commit adultery, not you and to insinuate that you need medication or are crazy is beyond insulting. Tell him that you're sorry that he's upset that everyone knows about his cheating on his family and if he insists on blaming you for his adultery, then he can just leave the house because you are done with this and not playing these mindgames any longer. OWH has walked out, and her children know what is going on. That's good. I'll bet he's really not the "cold" husband that your husband and OW described earlier. You were probably portrayed in a similar fashion. WS is on his way home to speak with me f2f. I am keeping strong and know that I have done nothing wrong. You got that right. Just be cool and calm and tell him that you're done with this mess and that he needs to put on his big-boy pants and decide what he's going to do. He just needs to grow the H up, he's a grown man and not a child for Pete's sake. You might add that you don't need to be married this bad (badly?) and are done living like this. What you must portray is the fact that it is up to YOU as to whether or not YOU will choose to remain married to HIM. Not the other way around. Make sense?
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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And your kids know the truth, right?
Not "Mom and Dad are having issues right now" but "Dad is having an affair and I'm trying to get him to knock it off and commit to this family."
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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And your kids know the truth, right?
Not "Mom and Dad are having issues right now" but "Dad is having an affair and I'm trying to get him to knock it off and commit to this family." Righto!! He should have to explain to his kids why he plans on wrecking their family..............for nothing. A big fat nothing. Is there any way your MIL would call up this skank and tell her she will never be welcome in her family? That would make a huge dent in their little fantasy.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thank you to everyone, the storm has hit and I need to be strong. WS is livid, and told me I was being irrational. WS wants to know everyone I have contacted and whether or not I have told the children. OW sister's has chastised me for going public - I will not respond to her stupid comment. Don't tell him who you contacted - just say "People you respect who can help you. Ignore his sister - she's mad because you've 'gone public' with her brother's misdeeds? She should be ashamed of herself. Why would she hide something so horrible that would harm her beloved brother so completely? Idiot woman. Tell your WH that you are surprised that he is taking your exposure this way. Ask him why he has a problem with this - force him to acknowledge how embarrassing and wrong his actions are.
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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