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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 49
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No you are right, he is not ready at all.
Plan B it is and if he arrives at the door unexpectantly I don't let him in.
I wish I could stop thinking about him and stop feeling depressed.
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Joined: Oct 2009
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That's because you broke Plan B and set your recovery clock back to zero. Its okay though, all is not lost as long as you get back on the Plan B bandwagon. Do you have an IM? You might want to resend your Plan B letter. Get dark. Unfortunately, you are going to have to let your WH fall. If you save him from this, you are the one who is going to pay for what happens. Get outta his drama and get dark. Tale care of yourself.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
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I wouldn't resend the letter. Just go back to no contact of any kind.
If he tries to contact you tell him that you will talk to him if his affair ends.
Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Then, if he says the affair is over, see what else he has to say.
Then, come back here for more input.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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No you are right, he is not ready at all.
Plan B it is and if he arrives at the door unexpectantly I don't let him in.
I wish I could stop thinking about him and stop feeling depressed. Get a (very loud) air horn. If he shows up at your door, tell him: "Go away right this minute."If he says anything, fire up the air horn. If he stays at the door after 3 air horn blasts, go to the back of the house and turn on the loudest music possible. He does not have the key to enter, right?
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Tilly,
get back into plan B. Any talk of R should only be after he has met your PBL conditions. An OC makes this a VERY complicated situation especially with a drug addicted mother. Most likely the child will be removed from her care immediately and it may fall to your WH to take the baby. That makes R even harder IMHO. Unless he could get the mother's rights permanently terminated I would want NOTHING to do with her drama.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 49
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Thank you guys. Just having someone to go over things makes it easier.  Dark no contact. I have had the locks changed so it's down to me. tbh I don't know what will happen when the baby comes if he is still there I would imagine he will not leave and that's his choice.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 165
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Posts: 165 |
mbsurvivor11@gmail.com
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 33
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thank you. Gosh that is horrid to read back what a year.
Why do I love him so much, the smell of his hair, I should wash my bed covers really.
He needs to get over his depression before he comes back here to face withdrawal. He had this big time, feels sorry for her, she has no-one, he is unhappy their. He cries on phone to his mum that he hates his life.
Last edited by tilly37; 12/15/11 09:05 AM.
ME: 38
WH:38
DS1 - 6
DS2- 11
Married 17 years
DDay: Sept 13th 2010 - He simply left so no Plan A
December - July 2011 Plan B
July 2011 - OW had still born
August - December 2011 Not Plan B (texting we loved each other)
WH returned for 1 night then left for OW
16th December 2011 - Tight Dark Plan B
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