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If you're crazy to still love her.....you have a lot of company here Mark.
A lot of betrayed people who still love their wayward mates.
Infidelity is a broken sacred trust between a man and woman who vowed that trust to each other. It doesn't mean the love is gone, but the bond of fidelity is.
Keep on keeping on Mark.
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I don't know if what I've done can be classified as stellar. You, sir, have done everything you can do to keep your family together, in spite of formidible opposition from your WW and her family. You and your kids will land on your feet and will thrive. Your WW? Not so much. Well done. 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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You and your kids will land on your feet and will thrive. Your WW? Not so much. I believe this, too. A part of me understands that she will have to go through some things if she will ever wake up. A part of me knows, due to her willful disobedience to our pastor, to other Christian counsel, and God's word, God will deal with her in His way and His time. The other part of me, having a knowledge of how God deals with the defiant and those who essentially abandon Him and His teachings, doesn't want to see her fall. I don't want to see her hurt. I don't want to see her struggle. I know she has made her choices, though, and I can't save her from the consequences of them. I will continue to pray that God be the merciful.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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Its done. Papers are signed. I am now DIVORCED.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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Mark,
Glad to hear through it all you are continuing to honor
God through purity. I can't imagine how hard your struggle with your WW must be.
To continue on a path that keeps you walking with God and hoping on His mercy is to be commended.
Hang in there. You are an inspiration. Praying for God's continued peace in your life.
FWH 42 (me)
BW 43
M 20yrs
3 DS 14, 17, 18
As for God his way is perfect, the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield to all who take refuge in him.~Proverbs 18:30
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I will say it again...Hang in there
His word never returns void, I feel compelled to share this with you...
Psalm 16:7-11
I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand. I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Bathe yourself in His word, and know you have done all you can do.
Stay in His grip and you will find peace.
Last edited by Nit2winher; 12/20/11 10:37 AM. Reason: addition
FWH 42 (me)
BW 43
M 20yrs
3 DS 14, 17, 18
As for God his way is perfect, the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield to all who take refuge in him.~Proverbs 18:30
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Its done. Papers are signed. I am now DIVORCED. Congratulations. And I'm sorry. My overwhelming emotion was simply RELIEF. I was glad that the process was complete because I was sick and tired of being stuck in the middle of a divorce. It's been 9 months since my divorce was final. Life does get better. Oh, and I'd suggest that you find a DivorceCare group. It really helps your recovery to go through the study.
Last edited by Kirby; 12/20/11 10:43 AM.
Me: BS 51
Himself: WH 53, EA/PA w/ RunnerSlut his "running buddy."
Buncha' kids. The two youngest are still minors.
Separated: 08/13/09 after 25 years of marriage
Plan D: Filed 11/13/09 Final 3/30/11
MC told me that he probably has a personality disorder
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Thanks. It has been a long journey. When I signed the papers this morning, there was no emotion. At one point, I dreaded this day. Today, I think I embraced it.
Yes, I did all I could do and for that, I'm content and at peace. God understood all along my motives and sincerity. God will bless me in His own way and time. I've got many challenges ahead but God is with me and that's more than the whole world against me.
Ww is totally and completely in his hands.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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Kirby, I'm really not sure when my divorce will actually be final. She still has to sign the paperwork. I guess it all depends when judge signs them. Anyhow, my part is done.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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Well then, technically, you aren't divorced, yet. Not keeping up hope, just making sure that you know that. I had a friend whose husband wouldn't sign the divorce papers for 10 YEARS. He was afraid she would take their son away from him, and he wouldn't allow that. She probably could have forced him to agree, but she didn't have the money to do it. Remember, no dating yet. Not that I think that you were gonna go out and date today or anything.  Also, remember to keep your boundaries up around women who are themselves married. Focus on you and your DD. I am sorry. You did everything possible
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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The good fight.
The best try.
The best plan.
Hold your head up high as you move forward.
Give your child a true North to follow.
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I have no intention of dating now. I'm not sure if I will truly. I'm okay with being by myself. I don't have to have someone.
I have definitely learned about boundaries. With the married social worker a while back, I was dangerously close. The thoughts I had at that time were not good. The recent attempt at my ex to reach out and possibly reconnect (I think you all were right about that) was another learning experience. There was even a girl in my apartment complex that presented a challenge. All these temptations have been avoided.
I am EXTREMELY vulnerable. I know this. I have to remind myself to stay on guard.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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I am EXTREMELY vulnerable. I know this. I have to remind myself to stay on guard. You're being very wise here. I have met several people who are going through their second divorce because they jumped into a new relationship too quickly. Take your time.
Me: BS 51
Himself: WH 53, EA/PA w/ RunnerSlut his "running buddy."
Buncha' kids. The two youngest are still minors.
Separated: 08/13/09 after 25 years of marriage
Plan D: Filed 11/13/09 Final 3/30/11
MC told me that he probably has a personality disorder
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Well then, technically, you aren't divorced, yet. Not keeping up hope, just making sure that you know that. I had a friend whose husband wouldn't sign the divorce papers for 10 YEARS. He was afraid she would take their son away from him, and he wouldn't allow that. She probably could have forced him to agree, but she didn't have the money to do it. Remember, no dating yet. Not that I think that you were gonna go out and date today or anything. Also, remember to keep your boundaries up around women who are themselves married. Focus on you and your DD. I am sorry. You did everything possible I don't really anticipate many days will pass before she signs. This is what she has wanted for over a year. It is sitting before her now. She can just consider it my Christmas present to her.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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So I've got everything necessary for my first attempt at cooking a holiday meal. Wish me luck!!!
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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So I've got everything necessary for my first attempt at cooking a holiday meal. Wish me luck!!! You can do it, mark! 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Posts: 637
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It is now official. I got paperwork today. I am divorced.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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It is now official. I got paperwork today. I am divorced. ((mark))
Me: BS 51
Himself: WH 53, EA/PA w/ RunnerSlut his "running buddy."
Buncha' kids. The two youngest are still minors.
Separated: 08/13/09 after 25 years of marriage
Plan D: Filed 11/13/09 Final 3/30/11
MC told me that he probably has a personality disorder
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Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Me BW (37)
WH (37)
DD1 6 yrs DD2 2 yr
A man who abandons his wife and children because of his infidelity is no price. I can do better then that, I deserve better then that.
The difficulties and struggles of today are but the price we must pay for the accomplishments and victories of tomorrow
Men must be honest with themselves before they can be honest with others. A man who is not honest with himself presents a hopeless case
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