My husband had an affair 10 years ago. I sincerely tried to get over it. It happened at a time our marriage was really going well! We had already had a lot of ups and downs because he liked to go out and drink with his buddies all the time. After his affair, though, He swore he would be a better husband and father..and kept his word for about 6 months. At 6 months I discovered I was pregnant. I miscarried after 4 months and then became pregnant again within 5 months. After I found out I was pregnant, my husband went back to his previous behaviors...drinking all the time and hanging out with his single friends. He did not, however, return to the OW or even a new woman. My problem is this: In a lot of our conversations, even now, my husband will infer that the reason men have affairs is because they aren't getting "any" at home. When he says stuff like that it makes me feel like he has no true remorse for what he did. It is like he uses that generalization for an excuse for his behavior, as well. And, in our case, it is far from the truth. The only time I refused to be intimate with my husbnad was when he was out all night drinking. During arguments, he has even said that the reason he had an affair was because I wouldn't have sex with him. If he can't be honest, how can I stop resenting him? At this point, I can't even stand him.

It sounds like he has never taken any responsibility for his affair. He believes he has an entitlement to have affairs, which makes him dangerous.

People have affairs because they have poor boundaries around members of the opposite sex. Period. Your husband sounds like he is disrespectful and thoughtless and engages in very risky marital behavior. I would read the article When to Call it Quits and follow the plan in there.

Sorry you are here, welcome to MArriage Builders.

Check this out: When to Call it Quits

Mel has summed it up.

I just want to say, Welcome to Marriage Builders.

I am sorry for your pain. The only way is up.